Snappy Answers

[James]

Snappy Answer #1

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate

to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended

her hand for the ticket, and opened his trench coat

and flashed her.

Without missing a beat she said,

"Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."

 

Snappy Answer #2

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the

grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for

her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys

get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am,

they're dead."

 

Snappy Answer #3

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped

for speeding pulled down his window. "I've been

waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid

replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."

When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid

on his way without a ticket.

 

Snappy Answer #4

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A

sign comes up that reads "low bridge ahead." Before he

knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets

stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.

Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of

his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his

hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, heh?"

The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this

bridge and ran out of gas."

 

Snappy Answer #5, THE TEACHER Snappy Answer OF THE YEAR

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's

final exam. "Now class, won't tolerate any excuses for

you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a

nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or

illness, or a death in your immediate family but

that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"

A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his

hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said

I was suffering from complete and utter sexual

exhaustion?"

The entire class does its best to stifle their

laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the

teacher smiles sympathetically the student, shakes her

head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to

write the exam with your other hand"!!

[Claire DC]

[Bukey]

[Ginge]