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You have to be very proud to be British because...


Vinyl Vera

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You have to be very proud to be British because...

 

Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

 

Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

 

Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a DIET coke.

 

Only in Britain...do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

 

Only in Britain... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

 

Only in Britain... are there disabled parking places in front of a Skating rink.

 

NOT TO MENTION...

 

3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

 

142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.

 

58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.

 

31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.

 

19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.

 

British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents.

 

101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.

 

18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

 

A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two year after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

 

5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control Scalextric cars.

 

AND FINALLY......... In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet.

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Captain_Cunted said:

Im scottish.

 

so am i, and most of those came from america.

 

what happens if u want to skate, but ur disabled mate wants to come along and watch?

 

amusin' tho. tongue.gifthumbs.gif

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Phil_raa said:

Captain_Cunted said:

Im scottish.

 

so am i, and most of those came from america.

 

what happens if u want to skate, but ur disabled mate wants to come along and watch?

 

amusin' tho. tongue.gifthumbs.gif

 

shut up.

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Captain_Cunted said:

 

shut up.

 

kiss my, i moved south when i was 4, damn glad as well.

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Captain_Cunted said:

Im scottish.

 

scottish IS british.

 

dim foreigner..

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Phil_raa said:

Captain_Cunted said:

Im scottish.

 

scottish IS british.

 

dim foreigner..

 

I was just gonna say exactly the same thing

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I will never be proud to be British so long as we have a sycophantic PM who manipulates the truth and will stop at nothing to get his own way. And a government which whislt being absolutely corrupt so that they can stay in power at woteva cost, but are still prepared to sell our constitutional rights to the bloody continental bastards in Frogland and Krautland!

My teenage daughter has been kidnapped, and the people I work with may be involved in both.

I'm Federal Agent Jack Bauer and this is the longest day of my life...

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Captain_Cunted said:

Im NOT british. Im Scottish. thanx.gif

 

check yer passport... it'll say different.. mr UK Citizen eviltongue.gif pffft, jockstraps rolleyes.gif

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Captain_Cunted said:

Im NOT british. Im Scottish. thanx.gif

 

And Scotland is part of the BRITISH Isles...therefore you ARE British...whether you want to be or not.

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Ginger people aren't British though.

My teenage daughter has been kidnapped, and the people I work with may be involved in both.

I'm Federal Agent Jack Bauer and this is the longest day of my life...

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