FAO Rachel

[GodsKitchenBoy]

I have a new monkey..

 

See him dance!!

 

[rachel]

What is it with the fascination with monkeys?

 

You worry me.

[GodsKitchenBoy]

My uncle used to have a pet monkey....

 

It used to look like this little chap:

 

 

It used to sit on his head.......and poo

 

One day it reach down from the top of his bonce and bit his ear.....

 

He had it put down after that.....I believe the deed was done with a hammer

Edited October 9, 2003 by GKB

[rachel]

Too much information!!!

 

Why didn't he have a goldfish or a hamster like everyone else?

[GodsKitchenBoy]

Lets be honest.....what would you rather have?

 

A monkey or a goldfish? I rest my case your honour....

 

[rachel]

i'd MUCH rather have a goldfish. The monkey bit him!!!!! That wouldn't have happened if he had a goldfish, would it

 

Goldfish are much less hassle & they don't live as long, are cheaper to keep, take up less space, aren't as noisy, aren't as messy.........

[GodsKitchenBoy]

Yes but can you play ping pong with a goldfish? I think not.....

 

That monkey played ping pong better than Forrest, Forrest Gump..

 

PS. He had to have his ear amputated after the monkey bit it....he got Yellow River fever in the lobe so the surgeon was forced to whip it off....a lá Van Gogh

 

[rachel]

You don't need a monkey to play ping pong, thats what horrible little nieces & nephews like you were for.

 

Yellow River Fever, where do you get this stuff from?

 

Sorry but that made me laugh, about having his ear amputated, i'm sure he didn't find it funny though

[GodsKitchenBoy]

I know you don't need a monkey to play ping pong but, and I think you will agree here, the game is vastly improved if palyed against an ape of some variety.....

 

[rachel]

erm....no

 

Did you play ping pong with it? And did you ever win, i'm guessing you didn't.

[GodsKitchenBoy]

No, unfortunately Boris (that was the wee chaps name) lived and died before I was born....

 

Else I am sure the resulting match would have been shown on SkySports1.......