GCSE exams...

[Guest saffysue]

 

> The following questions and genuine answers that were collated from

> last year's GCSE exams.

>

> Geography

>

> Q: Name the four seasons.

>

> A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

>

>

> Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to

> drink.

>

> A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large

> pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

>

>

> Q: How is dew formed?

>

> A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

>

>

> Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?

>

> A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water

> tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon,

 

> and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this

> fight.

>

>

> Sociology

>

> Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?

>

> A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed.

>

>

> Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?

>

> A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.

>

>

> Q: What are steroids?

>

> A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

>

>

> Biology

>

> Q: What happens to your body as you age?

>

> A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

>

>

> Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?

>

> A: He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

>

>

> Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes?

>

> A: Premature death.

>

>

> Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?

>

> A. Keep it in the cow. [He got an A!]

>

>

> Q: How are the main parts of the body categorised? (e.g. abdomen.)

>

> A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax

and

> the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax

> contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the

> five bowels

>

> A, E, I, O & U

>

>

> Q: What is the Fibula?

>

> A: A small lie.

>

>

> Q: What does "varicose" mean?

>

> A: Nearby.

>

>

> Q: What is the most common form of birth control?

>

> A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.

>

>

> Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section."

>

> A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome.

>

>

> Q: What is a seizure?

>

> A: A Roman emperor.

>

>

> Q: What is a terminal illness?

>

> A: When you are sick at the airport.

>

>

> Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?

>

> A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so they look like

> umbrellas.

>

>

> English

>

>

> Q: Use the word "judicious" in a sentence to show you understand its

> meaning.

>

> A: Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.

>

>

> Q: What does the word "benign" mean?

>

> A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

>

>

> Technology

>

>

> Q: What is a turbine?

>

> A: Something an Arab wears on his head.

>

 

 

[power_slough]

[SexyNic]

[djiceman]

[Sarah C]

hmmm the younger generation nowadays pffft

i onyl did mine 2 yrs agi tho lol

[alasdairm]

i believe these are genuine

 

alasdair