Ever Wonder.......................

[Shaney R]

> >>EVER WONDER where we are headed...

>

> >>

> >>Why the sun lightens our hair,

> >>

> >>but darkens our skin?

> >>

> >>Why women can't put on mascara

> >>

> >>with their mouth closed?

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>Why you don't ever see the headline:

> >>

> >>"Psychic Wins Lottery"?

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>Why Doctors call what they do "practice"?

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>Why you have to click on "Start"

> >>

> >>to stop Windows 98?

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing

> > liquid is

> >>made with real lemons?

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>Why the man who invests all your money is called a "Broker"?

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>Why there isn't mouse flavored cat food?

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>Who tastes dog food when it has a

> >>

> >>"new & improved" flavor?

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>Why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the

> >>indestructible black box?

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>Why they are called apartments when

> >>

> >>they are all stuck together?

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>If con is the opposite of pro,

> >>

> >>is Congress the opposite of progress?

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>Why they call the airport "the terminal"

> >>

> >>if flying is so safe?

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>AND...

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because

> of

> >>stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>On a Myer hairdryer:

> >>

> >>"Do not use while sleeping".

> >>

> >>(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>On a bag of Chips:

> >>

> >>You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

> >>

> >>(The shoplifter special?)

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>On a bar of Palmolive soap:

> >>

> >>"Directions: Use like regular soap".

> >>

> >>(And that would be how???)

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>On some frozen dinners:

> >>

> >>"Serving suggestion: Defrost".

> >>

> >>(But, it's just a suggestion).

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert

> >>

> >>(printed on bottom):

> >>

> >>"Do not turn upside down".

> >>

> >>(Well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:

> >>

> >>"Product will be hot after heating".

> >>

> >>(And you thought????...)

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>On packaging for a K-Mart iron:

> >>

> >>"Do not iron clothes on body".

> >>

> >>(But wouldn't this save me more time?)

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:

> >>

> >>"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this

> medication".

> >>

> >>(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we

> > could

> >>just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those forklifts.)

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>On Nytol Sleep Aid:

> >>

> >>"Warning: May cause drowsiness".

> >>

> >>(And...I'm taking this because???)

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>On most brands of Christmas lights:

> >>

> >>"For indoor or outdoor use only".

> >>

> >>(As opposed to...what?)

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>On a Japanese food processor:

> >>

> >>"Not to be used for the other use".

> >>

> >>(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>On Nobby's peanuts:

> >>

> >>"Warning: contains nuts".

> >>

> >>(Talk about a news flash!)

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>On an American Airlines packet of nuts:

> >>

> >>"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts".

> >>

> >>(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>I don't blame the company, I blame the parents for this one:

> >>

> >>On a child's superman costume:

> >>

> >>"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly".

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>On a Swedish chainsaw:

> >>

> >>"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals".

> >>

> >>(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the

> >>stupidity

> >>and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a

> >>chuckle)...in other words send it to everyone. We all need to smile

> > every

> >>once in a while.

 

[Ginge]

Another way to tell that the planet is doomed.....

 

All supermarkets that sell just about EVERYTHING have the cigarette counter right at the front of the shop...and the pharmacy right at the back so if you've got some thing wrong with you, you have to make that extra bit of effort to get it sorted out.

 

Isnt life WONDERFUL.

[Dani Babyboo]

lmao quality

[Phil rr]

i don't understand

[Guest]

> >>Why women can't put on mascara

> >>

> >>with their mouth closed?

 

Complete tosh.

[~charlie~]

> >>Why women can't put on mascara

> >>

> >>with their mouth closed?

 

Complete tosh.

153627[/snapback]

 

 

i was about to say the VERY same thing!!!

[Shaney R]

id like 2 see it

[~charlie~]

id like 2 see it

153678[/snapback]

 

 

just try it yourself! its easy!!

[Ginge]

Why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box?

 

Coz the plane would be too heavy and wouldnt be able take off.

[Shaney R]

 

Ive seen Bushy do it but he gets it all in his beard and everywhere, can i see u do it charlie lol

 

 

 

 

 

id like 2 see it

153678[/snapback]

 

 

just try it yourself! its easy!!

153687[/snapback]

 

[~charlie~]

Ive seen Bushy do it but he gets it all in his beard and everywhere, can i see u do it charlie lol

 

 

 

 

 

id like 2 see it

153678[/snapback]

 

 

just try it yourself! its easy!!

153687[/snapback]

153804[/snapback]

 

 

 

only if you're very lucky!

[Shaney R]

Well if it was 2004 i wouldnt of been lucky at all but things are looking up so u never know my luck could be in

[~charlie~]

and you may even be lucky enough to see me put my make up on

[Shaney R]

ok lol i give in