b4 i go 2 bed.............

[Shaney_R]

>The Smiths were unable to conceive children, and decided to use a

>surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was

>to arrive, Mr Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should

>be

>

>here soon."

>Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer

>rang

>

>the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.

>

>"Good morning madam. I've come to......"

>

>"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in.

>

>"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a specialty of

>babies."

>

>"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a

>seat." After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"

>

>"Leave everything to me. I usually try two shots in the bathtub, one on

>the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room

>floor is fun too.... you can really spread out there!"

>

>"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and

>me!"

>

>"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we

>try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles,

>I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results." "

>

>My, my, that's a lot of...of.....!!" gasped Mrs. Smith.

>

>"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in

>and out in five minutes, but you'd probably be very disappointed with

>that, I'm sure."

>

>"Oh, don't I just know it!" Mrs. Smith muttered.

>

>The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his

>baby pictures, "This was done on the top of a bus."

>

>"Oh my god!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.

>

>"And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their

>mother was so difficult to work with."

>

>"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith faintly.

>

>"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the

>job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing

>to get a good look."

>

>"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.

>

>"Oh Yes," the photographer said. "And for more than three hours, too.

>The mother was constantly squealing and yelling; I could hardly

>concentrate! Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots.

>Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just

>packed

>

>it all in."

>

>Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed on

>your...um...equipment?"

>

>"That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so

>that we can get to work"

>

>"Tripod???!!"

>

>"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big

>for me to hold up for very long.......Madam? Madam?... Good Lord, she's

>fainted....!"

[fifedjdomo]

lmao amazing!! thats well good!

[LiamStyles]

PMSL! Quality

[Miss Minx]

one of ur better ones ;oP

[Shaney_R]

there always good