xmassy funny

[Miss Minx]

Dashing through the snow in my rusty Chevrolet.

Down the road I go, sliding all the way.

I need new piston rings. I need some new snow tires.

My car is held together by a piece of chicken wire!

 

Oh, rust and smoke, the heater's broke, the door just blew away.

I light a match to see the dash and then I start to pray-ay.

The frame is bent, the muffler went, the radio's okay.

Oh, what fun it is to drive this rusty Chevrolet!

 

I went to IGA to get some Christmas cheer.

I just passed up my left front tire and it's gettin' hard to steer.

Speeding down the highway, right past the county cops.

I have to drag my swampers just to get the car to stop.

 

Oh, rust and smoke, the heater's broke, the door just blew away.

I light a match to see the dash and then I start to pray-ay.

The frame is bent, the muffler went, the radio's okay.

Oh, what fun it is to drive this rusty Chevrolet!

 

Bouncing through the snowdrifts in a big, blue cloud of smoke.

People laugh as I drive by; I wonder what's the joke!

I have to get to Wal-Mart to pick up my layaway,

Cause Santa's comin' soon in his big, old, rusty sleigh!

 

Oh, rust and smoke, the heater's broke, the door just blew away.

I light a match to see the dash and then I start to pray-ay.

The frame is bent, the muffler went, the radio's okay.

Oh, what fun it is to drive this rusttttttttty Chevroooooooleeeeeet!

 

[Miss Minx]

Well the traffic outside is frightful

But the drugs are so delightful

And since we've got lines to blow

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

George W. scored us an eightball

And we're feelin' 50 feet tall

Still higher we wanna go

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

(Melody changes)

When we finally lick the mirror

We can really start chuggin' the beer

And when we tap out the keg

We will start gnawing your leg

Yes the traffic outside is frightful

But the drugs are so delightful

And since we've got lines to blow

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

[Miss Minx]

Dish out lines, I am listening

Chug the booze, snow is glistening

It's cold, that's alright

We'll get some tonight

Screwing in a winter wonderland

At the outhouse we can build a snowman

And pretend that he is Parson Brown

He'll say are you married, we'll say no man

But we just fornicate and fool around

Later on, we'll perspire

As we fuck by the fire

And face unafraid the mess that we've made

Screwing in a winter wonderland

[Miss Minx]

Halogen uplights and big-muscled fellas

Pink puffy draperies and drinks with umbrellas

Brown Puerto Rican boys tied up with string

These are a few of my favorite things

 

Penthouse magazine and silicone breasts

Girls dressed in leather with tatoos on their chests

Blonde lesbo orgies, a quick mid-day fling,

These are a few of my favorite things.

 

When the whip cracks (oww)

When the cane stings (ooo)

When I'm feeling bad

I just think of a few of my favorite things,

And then I get hard...for Dad.

[Miss Minx]

Deck my balls with boughs of holly,

Fa la la la la, la la la.

 

Tap the keg, inflate the dolly,

Fa la la la la, la la la.

 

Don we now our rubber panties,

Fa la la la la, la la la.

 

We're a bunch of twisted Santies,

Fa la la la la, la la la.

 

Naughty girls are such a treasure,

Fa la la la la, la la la.

 

These North Poles were made for pleasure,

Fa la la la la, la la la.

 

Fucked the elves, fucked all the reindeer,

Fa la la la la, la la la.

 

Fuck the cookies, bring us COLD BEER!

Fa la la la la, la la la.

[Miss Minx]

Frosty the cokehead was a crazed neurotic soul,

With a big glass pipe and a vial of crack,

And no sense of self control.

There must have been some poison in that last dime bag he got,

For when he took his first big hit he dropped dead on the spot.

Frosty the cokehead doesn't worry anymore,

Cuz when all is said, and your cold and dead,

Then you never have to score.

[fifedjdomo]

oh minx with the bloody christmas tunes in ma head while readin them!!!!

[Miss Minx]

ive had thsi in my head all day

 

They’ve got cars big as bars

They’ve got rivers of gold

But the wind goes right through you

It’s no place for the old

When you first took my hand

On a cold christmas eve

You promised me

Broadway was waiting for me

 

You were handsome

You were pretty

Queen of new york city

When the band finished playing

They howled out for more

Sinatra was swinging,

All the drunks they were singing

We kissed on a corner

Then danced through the night

 

The boys of the nypd choir

Were singing galway bay

And the bells were ringing out

For christmas day

 

You’re a bum

You’re a punk

You’re an old slut on junk

Lying there almost dead on a drip in that bed

You scumbag, you maggot

You cheap lousy faggot

Happy christmas your arse

I pray God it’s our last

 

I could have been someone

Well so could anyone

You took my dreams from me

When I first found you

I kept them with me babe

I put them with my own

Can’t make it all alone

I’ve built my dreams around you

 

 

besterst xmas song EVER

[fifedjdomo]

i cant think of the tune (fortunately for you )

 

 

 

[Miss Minx]

WHAT THE TUNE TO WHAT I POSTED? ITS POGUES - FAIRYTALE OF NEW YORK

 

 

 

[fifedjdomo]

still lost