Funny as fuck!!

[nice1bruva]

A real I.T. helpdesk phone call - Piss funny!!

 

Customer: "I got this problem. You people sent me this install disk, and

now my A: drive won't work."

Tech Support: "Your A drive won't work?"

Customer: "That's what I said. You sent me a bad disk, it got stuck in

my drive, now it won't work at all."

Tech Support: "Did it not install properly? What kind of error messages

did you get?"

Customer: "I didn't get any error message. The disk got stuck in the

drive and wouldn't come out. So I got these pliers and tried to get it out.

That

didn't work either."

Tech Support: "You did what sir?"

Customer: "I got these pliers, and tried to get the disk out, but it

wouldn't budge. I just ended up cracking the plastic stuff a bit."

Tech Support: "I don't understand sir, did you push the eject button?"

Customer: "No, so then I got a stick of butter and melted it and used a

turkey baster and put the butter in the drive, around the disk, and that got

it

loose.

Then I used the pliers and it came out fine. I can't believe you would

send me a disk that was broke and defective."

Tech Support: "Let me get this clear. You put melted butter in your A:

drive and used pliers to pull the disk out?"

Tech Support: "Just so I am absolutely clear on this, can you repeat what

you just said?"

Customer: "I said I put butter in my A: drive to get your crappy disk

out, then I had to use pliers to pull it out."

Tech Support: "Did you push that little button that was sticking out

when the disk was in the drive, you know, the thing called the disk eject

button?"

Silence.

Tech Support: "Sir?"

Customer: "Yes."

Tech Support: "Sir, did you push the eject button?"

Customer: "No, but you people are going to fix my computer, or I am

going to sue you for breaking my computer?"

Tech Support: "Let me get this straight. You are going to sue our

company because you put the disk in the A: drive, didn't follow the

instructions

we sent you, didn't actually seek professional advice, didn't consult your

user's manual on how to use your computer properly, instead proceeding to

pour

butter into the drive and physically rip the disk out?"

Customer: "Ummmm."

Tech Support: "Do you really think you stand a chance, since we do

record every call and have it on tape?"

Customer: (now rather humbled) "But you're supposed to help!"

Tech Support: "I am sorry sir, but there is nothing we can do for you.

Have a nice day."

[nice1bruva]

i believe you mate. i work at an it support centre and so far this year:

one lady who after 10 mins trying to get her to open her cd drawer and then said "oh you mean the cup holder???"

another guy.i had to get him to write L and R on his mouse in marker pen (straight up) so he could left and right click properly

but without a doubt....and i swear this true....

my collegue next to me spoke to a guy the other week.we needed to email him some drivers for his pc.

my collegue on asking him for his email address,was rewarded with....

"I'M NOT GIVING YOU MY FCUKIN' EMAIL ADRESS,'CAUSE SOMEONE MIGHT CONTACT ME FROM OVERSEAS AND BLOW ME UP YOU CANT!!"

i so swear that that is true!!

 

priceless!! fookin' priceless!!

[nice1bruva]

what about this one??

 

Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."

Customer: "Ok."

Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No."

Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No."

Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this

point?"

Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'.

Tech Support: "Ok, did you type 'click' with the keyboard?"

Customer: "I have done something dumb, right?"

[Dakers]

User's are scary individuals..

 

Me: Can you switch the laptop off as it's crashed?

User: I can't go to Start to shut it down...

Me: That's ok, just press and hold the Power button

User: It won't work

Me: Have you done that?

User: No, but I know it won't, because I only use that button to switch it on with.

 

Me: (unrepeatable!)

[SarahPVC]

The classic one has to be.......

 

Customer 'The screen says press any key'

Tech Support 'Yes, have you done that?'

Customer 'Where abouts is the ANY key?'!!

[MItz]

Remind me again what planet these people are from?!

 

I keep laughin out loud, readin some of these posts...not a good idea when I'm at work!! OOPS!!!