Crap joke of the day

[DuDu]

Two Irish men sat on the floor - one fell off!!!

 

What do ice cubes have for super - Chill Con Carne!

 

Why did the chicken cross the road - cause i told it too!

 

......Don't worry, I'll get my coat!

[Wub Wub]

A dyslexic man walked into a bra

[Power Slough]

A koala bear was approached by a prostitute, since he had never been with

one before, he was curious and excited.

 

They spent the night together in a hotel, and he went down on her the next

morning one last time before departing.

 

As he was heading for the door, the prostitute yelled,  "Hey, what about my

money?"  The koala turned, gave her a puzzled look and shrugged his

shoulders. She said, "Come here", and pulled a dictionary out of her purse.

She pointed to the word "prostitute" and its

definition, "Has sex and gets paid." Finally understanding, the koala

borrowed her dictionary, turned to the word "koala" and showed her,

 

"Eats bush and leaves"

[Pepsi]

On a tour of Scotland, the Pope took a couple of days off his itinerary to visit the North coast near Aberdeen on an impromptu sightseeing trip.

 

His 4X4 Popemobile was driving along the golden sands when there was an enormous commotion heard just off the headland. They rushed to see what

it was and upon approaching the scene the Pope noticed just outside the surf, a hapless man wearing an English football jersey, struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a twenty foot shark.

 

At that moment a speedboat containing three men wearing Scottish football tops roared into view from around the point. Spontaneously, one

of the men took aim and fired a harpoon into the shark's ribs, immobilizing it instantly. The other two reached out and pulled the Englishman from the water and then, using long clubs, beat the shark to death. They bundled the bleeding, semi conscious man into the speed boat along with the dead shark and then prepared for a hasty retreat, when they heard frantic shouting from the shore. It was of course the Pope, and he summoned them to the beach.

 

Upon them reaching the shore the Pope went into raptures about the rescue and said, "I give you my blessing for your brave actions. I had heard that there were some racist xenophobic people trying to divide Scotland and England, but, now I have seen with my own eyes this is not true. I can see that your society is a truly enlightened example of racial harmony and could serve as a model on which other nations could follow." He blessed them all and drove off in a cloud of dust.

 

As he departed, the harpoonist asked the others, "Who was that???!"

"That," one answered, "was his Holiness the Pope. He is in direct contact with God and has access to all God's wisdom."

"Well," the harpoonist replied, "he knows f--- all about shark hunting.

How's that bait holding up or do we need to get another one?"

[Tidy Girl]

quote:

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Originally posted by Mitz:

HeeHeeHee........what do you mean crap joke?! It made me grin!

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simple things 4 simple minds eh? made me chuckle 2!!

 

[Wub Wub]

quote:

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Originally posted by tidy_girl:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Mitz:

HeeHeeHee........what do you mean crap joke?! It made me grin!

---

simple things 4 simple minds eh? made me chuckle 2!!

 

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It's very rare I please two women in one day

 

[Lia]

Made me chuckle too. hehe

 

[ 06 August 2002, 12:43: Message edited by: Lia ]