Bart Simpson blackboard quotes

[Wub Wub]

I will not waste chalk

I will not skateboard in the halls

I will not burp in classI will not draw naked ladies in class

I did not see Elvis

I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes"

Garlic gum is not funny

They are laughing at me, not with me

I will not yell "Fire" in a crowded classroom

 

I will not encourage others to fly

I will not fake my way through life

Tar is not a play thing

I will not Xerox my butt

It's potato, not potatoe

(This was used for the second airing, a reference to

Dan Quayle's gaff while visiting a school)

 

I will not trade pants with others

I am not a 32 year old woman

(To put it another way, Nancy Cartwright is not a 10-year-old boy)

I will not do that thing with my tongue

I will not drive the principal's car

I will not pledge allegiance to Bart

 

I will not sell school property

(Also used in episode14 - the only episode so far to use a

"repeated" blackboard opening in its first showing)

 

I will not cut corners

(It actually looks like this:

I WILL NOT CUT CORNERS

" " " " " "

" " " " " ")

I will not get very far with this attitude

I will not make flatulent noises in class

I will not belch the National Anthem

I will not sell land in Florida

I will not grease the monkey bars

 

I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment

I will not do anything bad ever again

I will not show off

(This was written in an "Olde English"-style font)

I will not sleep through my education

I am not a dentist

 

Spitwads are not free speech

Nobody likes sunburn slappers

High explosives and school don't mix

I will not bribe Principal Skinner

I will not squeak chalk (Bart squeaks the chalk while

writing this)

 

I will finish what I star

(This appears on one line; the rest is blank)

"Bart Bucks" are not legal tender

Underwear should be worn on the inside

The Christmas Pageant does notstink I will not torment the emotionally frail

 

I will not carve gods

I will not spank others

I will not aim for the head

I will not barf unless I'm sick

(Lisa has a blackboard punishment of sorts during the episode;

she has to clap erasers)

I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty

 

I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge

I will not conduct my own fire drills

Funny noises are not funny

I will not snap bras

I will not fake seizures

 

This punishment is not boring and pointless

My name is not Dr. Death

I will not defame New Orleans (New Orleans complained

about the opening song in "Oh, Streetcar!")

I will not prescribe medication

I will not bury the new kid

(During the episode, Marge wrote "I will try to raise a better child")

 

I will not teach others to fly

I will not bring sheep to class

A burp is not an answer

Teacher is not a leper

Coffee is not for kids

(Each line becomes less and less legible; the last line is a scrawl)

 

I will not eat things for money

I will not yell "She's Dead" at roll call

The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee

I will not call the principal "spud head"

Goldfish don't bounce

 

Mud is not one of the 4 food groups

No one is interested in my underpants

I will not sell miracle cures

I will return the seeing-eye dog

I do not have diplomatic immunity

 

I will not charge admission to the bathroom

I will never win an Emmy

(This was the first episode after 1992-93

Emmy nominations were announced, the first time the show was

eligible for "Best Comedy Series", but it wasn't nominated

(the show has won "Best Animated Show" Emmys in the past)

The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy

All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy

(This was not written "line by line" like the others)

I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause

 

I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers

My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man

(A reference to "The Fugitive")

I will not go near the kindergarten turtle

I am not deliciously saucy

Organ transplants are best left to the professionals

 

The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with Hail Satan

I will not celebrate meaningless milestones (This was

first used for the 100th new episode)

There are plenty of businesses like show business

I will not re-transmit without the express permission of Major League

Baseball

Five days is not too long to wait for a gun

Beans are neither fruit nor musical

[Bladeclubber]

Wonder where u got this from

 

[Daydreamer]

Classic.

 

A bloke at work has got a complete guide to Simpsons book, so i was sneaking peeks when the bosses werent around.

 

Some top quotes and things in there

[Scream]

one of my fav sayings from the simpsons is from Homer.

 

"Beer, the solution and creator to all lifes problems!"

[Tidy Girl]

[Ross.Rocks]

I am not beautifully Saucey