Im a bit scared for a mate of mine.

[Maria]

Right, im putting this up, because I don;t know who to turn to really, without them thinking the total WORSE (about me). Bit of a serious topic, this.

 

A mate of mine has just moved in a few doors up the road from my parents. I was best mates with her all through Secondary School, and have only recently (last few months) been in contact (over the phone), before she moved in just a few doors up.

 

About 3 weeks ago, I went up to see her and how she was settling in and that im glad she is living close by my parents because we havn't seen each other in ages. She has a baby about 2 years old and is also pregnant with another. I met her boyfriend that night who came across as a total ignorant twat, had scram marks all over his face, to which I asked why ? She told me they had been arguing and that he hit her and she then just went for him and kinda, went over board (which is what it looked like).

 

So that was that.

 

I went up to see her lastnight as she rang me to see what I was upto and that for me to call up, to which I did. She said her boyfriend and her had finished and that she needed to open up to someone, so I went up for an hour and had a chat with her.

 

Anyway, about her boyfriend, he's a criminal, in and out of prison and is also awaiting a scentance, he burgles houses, breaks into shops and stores, breaks into cars etc etc. She doesn't want his baby anymore and wants to abort it, because she doesn't want to bring her child into this world with having a father who is a criminal and is in and out of prison. Fair enough. Her choice entirely.

 

She tells me how they broke up because they are arguing and physically fighting with eachother day in and day out, but then she feels she can't end it and finish it completely, because her feelings can't let him go. Again, totaly understandable.

 

But, she told me last night, she smokes heroin. Which shocked me immensley. She got a lovely child, a lovely house, and she is a lovely girl. She says she is not an ADDICT as such, but she does like to smoke it, coz it's nice. She gave her boyfriend her last £30 lastnight to go and get some, (heroin skin I think she said it was ?) but she said that she had no gas in the house to make heat. I explained to her her child should come first and not that filthy habbit of hers :|

 

I didn't want to get involved but voiced my opinion to her, the fact that, heroin isn't something to be messed with and could lead to other forms of using it when it gets out of hand (hence my post, im scared for her), and can also lead to her child getting taken off her if this habbit gets worse.

 

She is not in any way a druggie, she doesn't piss her money up against the wall, and she always has food in the house and her child is very well dressed and very clean.

 

But the reason for my post, is to ask if any of you have had any friends in this position, smoking or taking heroin, what can this habbit lead too ? Can smoking heroin lead users to start injecting heroin ?

 

Iv seen films when people take heroin and how it fucks them up, especialy when they go "cold turkey" and I do not want to see my friend go through this.

 

I just need some advice.

 

Thanks.

 

 

[Shaney_R]

This is quite a serious thread Maria, i dont really know what to say apart from that i know a lad who i work with very well and he used to smoke heroin when he was in his early twenties, hes not a horrible person, hes actually a nice lad and now hes got married and a little nipper on the way, smoking the heroin never led him onto anything else but then again he wasnt in the situation that your friend is in i.e a boyfriend in and out of Jail and beating each other up.

I hope your friend pulls through it all and see's the bright side of life, she doesnt need a man like him, and shes got a good mate. Keep us posted on how she gets on.

 

[Maria]

QUOTE (Shaney_R @ Mar 17 2004, 16:32)

This is quite a serious thread Maria, i dont really know what to say apart from that i know a lad who i work with very well and he used to smoke heroin when he was in his early twenties, hes not a horrible person, hes actually a nice lad and now hes got married and a little nipper on the way, smoking the heroin never led him onto anything else but then again he wasnt in the situation that your friend is in i.e a boyfriend in and out of Jail and beating each other up. I hope your friend pulls through it all and see's the bright side of life, she doesnt need a man like him, and shes got a good mate. Keep us posted on how she gets on.

Thanks mate.

 

I know she doesn't need him, but you can't tell someone to get rid of their partner just like that, especially when you love them and have so many feelings for them, no matter how much of a bastard they are to u. I know where she is coming from in that respect. It's not really my say at all what she should do with him, although I have said to her, you need to look at what it would have been like if you did keep the child. And how do I know if they fight in front of the child she already has ? I don't know this, but yet, it is also none of my business to ask.

 

 

:\

 

[Lisa]

Heroin is a nasty, nasty drug & if not delt with, will lead to her down fall big time maria!!

 

How long has she been smoking it?? When heroin takes a hold, well, god forbid those children & she is expexting again did you say?... That in itself says it all Maria, my advise would be to keep an eye, but dont involve yourself too much, because before you know it you will be sucked in & she will knocking at your door for food, money & whatever else. I have know a fair few on this crap, it's not nice.

 

just keep an eye out for the child, thats the main thing & if you are concerned please, dont hesitate & call social services Maria

 

[Maria]

QUOTE (miss_diddy @ Mar 17 2004, 16:36)

Heroin is a nasty, nasty drug & if not delt with, will lead to her down fall big time maria!! How long has she been smoking it?? When heroin takes a hold, well, god forbid those children & she is expexting again did you say?... That in itself says it all Maria, my advise would be to keep an eye, but dont involve yourself too much, because before you know it you will be sucked in & she will knocking at your door for food, money & whatever else. I have know a fair few on this crap, it's not nice. just keep an eye out for the child, thats the main thing & if you are concerned please, dont hesitate & call social services Maria

Im not sure how long she has been doing it, im guessing for some time though. I think it's important for people to put their children first. She isn't a bad mother, she is great. But I think her fella is the bad influence, because when I left her house last night as her boyfriend was coming in, he also had a trail of boys to take in the house aswell. I don;t want to think what went on in the house when her child was in bed

[Shaney_R]

QUOTE

Thanks mate.

 

No probs

 

[Maria]

QUOTE (Shaney_R @ Mar 17 2004, 16:44)

QUOTE Thanks mate.   No probs   Im really not nasty, you know that don;t you

[Shaney_R]

I know mate, and ya welsh which is an added bonus!

Im off cya laterzzzzzzzzz

[Louise]

i dont know anyone in this situation (well i do but not close enough to pass judgement or give advice)

 

but this comment did make me step back.........

 

QUOTE

She isn't a bad mother

 

(please dont take this in a bad way because its just my oppinion) if she is smoking heroin while pregnant she is obviously putting herself first, whether she wants this baby of not she still should not be doing this. and every penny that goes up in smoke she takes food out of her childs mouth/clothes off her back (unless she has a good job)

 

and what happens if her child needs her during the night (or any times shes high) and shes not capeable of looking after the child, anything could happen

 

hope she sees sence now she has got rid of him though, maybe its whats needed to break her habit

 

is she likely to take him back?

Edited March 17, 2004 by Louise

[Guest saffysue]

Heroin is a terrible drug to get into, but most people who smoke it don't tend to start injecting. It's still very addictive tho, so she should try to get off it as soon as poss. It's possible to get it out of your system (if you smoke it a lot) within a few days, by going cold turkey. Sounds like she should def have an abortion, as the baby will prob be messed up by the drug. Also, she def needs to get rid of him! Hopefully he'll go to jail soon, which could be all it takes for her to break away from him.

If you need to talk let me know hon & I'll send you my number.

xx

[Bushy]

I'm sorry for your friend maria i truly am. I personally have no time for people who use heroin. I just pity them.

 

As voiced earlier, you need to tread very carefully, as she may be knocking on your door for money for food etc, for the baby. She may tell you she needs food, but what is to stop her going to buy more of that filthy drug with YOUR money.

 

As lou said, she cant be a good mother if she is pregnant and still smoking Heroin. Even if she doesnt want the baby. It still shows that she is addicted.

From what you say maria, it looks like she has no plans on giving it up, and it will eventually eat her up.

 

It could well put you under a lot of stress and emotionally drain you, as you know about it, and you know that you can do something. The question is though, what can you do? without going too far. IMO the answer is not a lot.

 

All you can really do is keep a close eye on the situation, and as suggested earlier by Miss Diddy dont hesitate to call Social services.

 

All this is what i think, and i'm sure you'll do whats right.

 

[Louise]

Maria, remember when i made a post about my old child minder and her drug user boyfriend, i asked what to do and you told me to call the services........think you have answered your own question

 

the social services are not there to split families up, they are there to help families out, whether it be giving mum a break so she can sort herself out, putting her into re-hab/councilling etc

[Ian Cashman]

Heroin..

 

in march 98 i moved back from leeds to p'boro, upset after a break up that caused me a lot of stress and heartache. when i got back i found my mates doing same thing as they always had... same gang of freinds and all that.. same social circles.

 

however my closest mate and fellow workmate D, who i was sticking with due to work circumstances had aquired a new mate recently who when first time i visited his flat i discovered was a bit partial to smoking a bit of heroin. M the new lad i soon discovered had a very similar sense of humour to me and we had a lot of things in common. We got on like a house on fire. Because of work me and dave were not round there all the time.. the odd evening and the saturday night in.

 

very quickly, prolly on second visit i tried some to see what it was like (knowing all the time this was a stupid idea if i was to find i liked it.). Although i puked my guts up after 10 mins i found the buzz was amazing. the buzz took the edge of the fact that id puked straight away. i didnt feel ill at all.. it was kind of a ritual.. have a toot, puke then float away.

 

i discovered i had no bad after effects from it. i could get up quite happily (as well as i ever do...lol) in the morning and go to work. at this point i was prolly doing it 3 or 4 times a week spending £10 each time. it wasn't breaking the bank and not fucking me up at all as far as i could tell (moderation is the key!!!LMFAO!).

 

M was actually dealing at this point, so there was usually plenty on tap.

one week it ran out. i still didnt get any side effects when i had to go without for a week. which was a relief to be honest cos i was aware that cold turkey could be a bit nasty... i missed the social gathering aspect more than anything. M was feeling a bit under the weather (WARNING!) and didnt want anyone round, so we didnt see him...

 

anyway news came in that we had some again.. so round we went. Another workmate called L was also joining in with us at this point and we had ourselves a gang of 4. L was leading the way for us to go round after work most nights and we eagerly followed, cos it was a wicked laugh. Beers smack and hash were the way forward to chill out after work we had decided..

 

L and me became very close buddies and we soon hatched a plan to go to Thailand over xmas. we were getting paid well and soon got our tickets and everything was sorted. we were to leave last week of november.

 

Middle of october the smack dried up again. by this time i was doing at least £10 worth every other day...

 

I came down with a hell-like flu that kept me off work for 3 days. Puking and diahorerea, the candle on top...

 

i was aware we had little time to save on the ol spending money situ for thailand so we both took it as a warning and laid off the drugs when they were available again. we managed to save up go to thailand for 6 weeks. we went and had the holiday of a lifetime. On top of the world bragging while we were out there about how we overcame a near-miss on the smack and how when we got back we were not gonna do it again...

 

Well we got back, full of ourselves, skint, jobless and bored. we soon got agency jobs and the money was flowing again. i got a flat of my own. work becomes boring and M came visiting after...

 

the gang of 4 reunited and we were soon back at it, harder than ever. we began taking it to work with us for sneaky toots in the bogs. the workrate slowed we had more and more lazy-cant-be-arsed-days-off. we got sacked although we kept this up for 6 months..

 

while we were working and the money was there its was quite easy to keep a small £10-£20 a day habit up. (esp if you dont pay your rent...which turned out in the end to be my salvation).

 

once we lost our jobs it became harder to keep the flu at bay and harder to look for and get to work... i had an up to its limit barclaycard which i discovered, when you go in quicksave their tills arent connected to a phoneline so they authorise everytime. i bought fags booze and food to the amout of £2000 on that, overall..

 

my average day consited of waking up once the sun had gone down, cold and shivering. if i had any left from night b4 i would do it then to get me up and out.

i would walk to M's flat and hope he would offer me some, him being the dealer with plenty on tap and all that. i would later top up my debt with him for a 10bag to start at his flat and then get me home. dinner was at his, normally from the chipshop around the corner. Chips and gravy comes up nice and stress free when you puke you see.

 

I used to look in the mirror and not see myself...

 

then came the start of the paranoia and in fighting in the gang of 4. when M dint have any in we had to score from elsewhere. the bags always looked like they had been dipped into en route. this caused a lot of friction. then L got his own source from some people we considered to be scumbags, who used needles...

 

L had started using needles and would quite jovialy comment on about how much better it was and how much cheaper cos you dint need as much to get to the blissed state..

 

I was very tempted.. In fact i was going to...

 

...But my landlord turned up with a bloke who was built like a brick shit house and evicted me.

I owed him £1500. My old non-smackhead friends wouldnt put me up. i told them time and time again i was gonna sort myself out but they were past believing me.

 

this was just b4 xmas 1999. No-one would put me up so i asked my mum (who had no idea really) if i could come home for Xmas. She nursed me throught the 'fluey diaorroia and burning in you bruised feeling bones' that is cold turkey without me telling her what it was, cos i was so ashamed. She was so worried she wanted to call the doctor but i wouldn't let her cos i knew the living nightmare would eventually pass.

 

i stayed there throughout january and got hassled by then into ringing the firm i did my apprentiship with for some work. they took me on again.

 

on weekends i would go back to peterborough and spend my wages on heroin although i never started injecting. i could see what it was doing to the 'other 3'... going back to my mums gave me the weekdays off so i didnt cold turkey again.

 

one sunday night i went out for a drink with some of my non-smackhead mates and was introduced to a freind of a friend Karen. She was lovely so i asked her out, and we ended up seeing each other. I ended up seeing her at the weekends instead and left the 'other 3 ' to it..

I payed my debts and was with Karen for 2 years.

 

M is in prison

L i have seen begging in p'boro. i avoid eye contact.

D moved to Cyprus and is still there.

 

1-It only takes for you try heroin once and find you like it for it to be a problem.

2-Its easier to keep doing it than to stop. esp if your everyday aquantances do it too.

3-It takes a forced change in circumstances for you to stop it

4-I feel lucky that i wouldn't know where to get any if i wanted some....

Edited March 17, 2004 by Ian Cashman

[Ian Cashman]

Maria.. hard as it is to take, you probably could not help her if you wanted to...

[Louise]

bloody hell ian,

 

i knew that you had been there in the past but didnt realise it was like that, or even that easy to get into, thankfully you have come out the other side

 

well done to you for speaking up

Edited March 17, 2004 by Louise