An oldie but a goody

[nice1bruva]

FW: MEN'S RULES.

 

If you're a Man pass to your partner for a greater

understanding. If you're a woman keep it somewhere prominent, like on the

fridge!

Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If

it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down.

You don't hear us bitching about you leaving it down.

 

Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not

quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet

again!

 

Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the

changing of the tides. Let it be.

 

Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more

attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons

guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and

by then your stuck with her.

Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

Crying is blackmail.

Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work!

Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

 

We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and

anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently

beforehand.

 

Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any

good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

Come to us with a problem only if you want help

solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your

girlfriends are for.

 

A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

Check your oil! Please.

Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all

comments become null and void after 7 days.

If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask

us. We refuse to answer.

 

If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes

you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's

genetic.

 

You can either ask us to do something or tell us how

you want it done. Not both. If you already know best

how to do it, just do it yourself.

 

Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and

neither do we.

 

The relationship is never going to be like it was the

first two months we were going out. Get over it. And

quit whining to your girlfriends.

 

ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for

example, is a fruit, not a colour. We have no idea what mauve is.

If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading

ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's

wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,

expect an answer you don't want to hear.

 

When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really!.

Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss

such topics as navel lint, the offside rule, or cars.

You have enough clothes.

You have too many shoes.

No you really do have too many shoes.

It is neither in your best interest or ours to take

the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.

 

BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

I'm in shape. ROUND is a shape.

Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch

tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping.

 

[ 19 August 2002, 08:48: Message edited by: nice1bruvva ]

[Ross.Rocks]

quote:

---

Originally posted by nice1bruvva:

Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's

genetic.

---

YES!

 

1/ if we look at other girlies we can be reminded just how pretty you are!

 

2/ blokes are ugly.. girls are nice, pretty and sometimes beautiful! God made you that way, your supposed to be looked at!

[Beckie in La La Land]