[ ClubTheWorld Reviews ] - Tidy Weekender 2

[Wub Wub]

When you think of a weekender, certain stereotypes might spring to mind. The weed fuelled hip-hop of Debeat, the up-their-own-arseness of tribal gathering (JOKE!), or the beard stroking, deep house noodle that is Southport. But when Tidy Trax throw a party for a weekend, the emphasis is on party. And the ClubtheWorld faithful went out in force. Their mission? Redefine messiness and put it in a brand new dictionary......

Friday

Myself and Elly arrived quite early, about 4pm. This gave us plenty of time to settle into our modest (read: shite) accomodation, and trundle off to nab some food before we got so out of it we started trying to hunt seagulls.

The location itself (which I cannot mention) was located in a very cold, very wet area of north wales, and thus walking around the park in hot pants and fluffy boots is not to be advised. Not that I did that anyway, but several braver souls did venture outside, foolishly underdressed. The missus being one of them /ubbthreads/images/icons/laugh.gif.

After the rest of the CTW crew arrived, we settled into the objective of getting well and truly f^cked, and having a damn good stomp at the same time! Not managing to catch the first sets of the evening (this meant missing Signum - DOH!), we got there in time for Tidy Boys opener. As the Blockbusters theme tune rang out (yes, Bob Holness' Blockbusters), Amo and Andy sprinted around the stage in their customary mad style. The typical bouncy style that the Tidy Boys are famed for caused a roadblock in the main room, and after they were through, a quick trip to the Harder room found the Riot Bros (shout out to Guy) tearing the place up with some serious sounds.

We then ventured back to the main room, where Scot Project laid down a splendid hard trance set (though, once again, he didn't play Overdrive. Or at least, I didn't hear him....), and Jon Bishop finished off with possibly the best set I've ever heard from an American jock. Dropping his own Stalker tune remained a highlight for me.

However, the main attraction of Tidy Weekender wasn't so much the DJ's, more the after party. And party after we did, to momumentally good effect. Or at least, that's what I'm told. I decided to slip into an ill-advised K-hole, thus removing me from reality for a good couple of hours. I remember coming to and seeing James trying to squeeze SarahPVC into a rather small cupboard, and to having our newly appointed chillout chick Mitz offer me countless hugs and glasses of water. Thanx hun. After sleeping very little, it was time for.....

Saturday

Saturday day was started off with a trip to get food about 3pm, which found myself and Elly walking straight into the middle of the Tidy Trax Q&A session. Tidy Boys, BK, Miss Behavin', Jon Bishop, Trophy Twins, Lee Haslam (or was it Tony P?) and Illogik were all being subject to a barrage of questions from the audience, ranging from tips on production and DJing to whether Paul Maddox was left or right handed. This last question came from a slightly pissed girl.

Once that was over, and food had been scoffed (can't beat greasy fish and chips!), we trundled over to James' chalet to begin the next evening. Pissing about with a camcorder is great fun at the best of times, but when you're slightly off your face it's even better! Having been set a challenge of getting three women to expose their breasts to camera within 10mins, I duly displayed my extreme blagging skills by taking a grand total of 2m45secs to get the required tits on display. COME ON!

However, the pre party get together took slightly longer than anticipated, and we got there in time for the delectable Anne Savage and Lisa Lashes' to play their customary back-to-back set, and the Tidy girls didn't let us down. A rip roaring 145bpm stomp fest ensued, with many a try hard blister sustained. This was followed by a literally breathtaking live set from the Tidy Boys. Think 30 of your favourite hard house tunes, completely taken to pieces and spat out of the speaker system, and you had the Amo and Andy live remix extravaganza. This was swiftly followed by Eddie Halliwell displaying just why he is THE big name up-and-coming DJ, with some amazing programming, mixing and a staggeringly good cutup featuring two copies of Over4Me. Party Monster/Cheese Maestro (delete accordingly) Rob Tissera finshed off Saturday night's sets in the main room with a typically jump around smiley set that featured a selection of big tunes from the past six months or so. And Over4Me. Again.

Saturday's after party is a lot clearer in my mind. What with Oddball experiencing his leg melting into the floor, and James' death countdown in the front bedroom, it was all rather random, and best left to a later section. Suffice to say that Juilus Caesar became a rather random door to door salesman.

Sunday

I managed to stay in bed til 7pm, so just got to getting up and about in time to catch Andy Farley drop Are U All Ready? to perhaps the biggest roar of the weekend. But the main room was packed for a different reason on Sunday. Three words meant clubbers were literally hanging from the rafters; Lab 4 Live. Once again, the dreadlocked dicisples pulled off a rip-roaring set, with the Eminem bootleg again making an appearance. After a quick wander, and a lot of random stomach tricks, it was back to the main room to hear Yoji Biomehanika drop a hard trance mix of A-Ha's Take On Me, with Paul Glazby picking up the final set of the night, and launching into Motherfucker to ensure that the end of the weekend remained firmly lodged in everyone's mind.

The Sunday after party was a lot more subdued, but we still managed to fit in a lot of drugs, and a lot of after hours stomping.

Monday

Monday came, and we were all forced to check out and attempt to grab what little sanity remained the head outside into the real word. A car journey and a pink fluffy boot on the roof later, and I was on the train back to reality. All I could think about was next April, and the next instalment.

Special Mentions

• @oddball - for his foot melting, eye rolling, random sketching, camera avoiding antics Saturday night. Actually, for the whole weekend.....
• @MItz - for coming through her first CTW meetup relatively unscathed, and capturing the heart of CreamyC, and also attending to the casualties of chillout with hugs and water.
• @Scream - for not being a 30yr old goth, and for being a quality bloke.
• @Tony P - for being the Tony P, not A Tony P, and for having a mix CD turn up at a random after party.
• @James - for his death countdown and for not leaving bed for the whole of Sunday.
• @SarahPVC - for knowing more people than we could ever hope to know, and for letting us play human Buck-A-Roo. And for not minding too much for letting me pose with my arse out over her head.

RANDOM ACTS THAT REQUIRE SPECIAL MENTION

• Me dressing as Julius Caesar (thanks to an ingenius shower curtain/safety pin combination), tying balloons to myself and going door-to-door selling at 8am Sunday morning.
• "I am Captain Random! Random is as Random does!"
• James' death countdown, followed by Creamy's attempted Necrophilia.
• Everyone I voxpopped on Saturday night.
• The man with the invisible dog.
• "My highlight was definitely the walk on the beach, and then finding a stick, and being beaten with it"
• Tidy TV, for providing us with a cat shagging a crow, Jimmy Saville telling us to put our seat belts on, Button Moon, and the strange message "Tony P blatantly got some off PVC - the dirty minx!", which somehow appeared on the screen for at least three minutes.
• Jon Bishop, for taking my comment "Not too bad for an American" with a cheery grin, and for not twatting me.
• Wub's helium time. Captured on film, thank [censored].
• Everyone we went with, partied with, danced with, talked with and chilled with. Quality effort all round people, and roll on April for the next one!