Offensive to every1 apparently

[Mitzie Dancer]

I just found thisd on my comp, quite funny

 

What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?

 

A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

 

>

>What's the best form of birth control after 50?

>Nudity

>

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>What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?

>45 kilos.

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>What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?

>45 minutes.

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>How many women does it take to change a light bulb?

>None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch.

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>What's the fastest way to a man's heart?

>Through his chest with a sharp knife.

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>Why are men and parking spaces alike?

>Because the good ones are gone and the only ones left are disabled.

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>What have men and floor tiles got in common?

>If you lay them properly the first time, you can walk all over them for life.

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>Why do men want to marry virgins?

>They can't stand criticism.

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>Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring and good looking?

>Because those men already have boyfriends.

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>What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?

>After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

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>What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

>The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

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>What is the biggest problem for an atheist?

>No one to talk to during orgasm.

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>What do you call a smart blonde?

>A golden retriever.

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>Why does the bride always wear white?

>Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator.

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>A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in sixth grade. Who has the biggest Boobs?

>The blonde because she's 18!!

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>How do you know when you're really ugly?

>Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed.

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>How do you know when you're leading a sad life?

>When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Lets just be friends."

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>What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts?

>Her navel.

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>What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?

>A Bingo Machine.

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>Why did God create alcohol?

>So ugly people could have sex too.

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>What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?

>"Are you sure it's mine?"

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>What three two-letter words mean small?

>"Is It In?"

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>Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?

>Mace will do that to you.

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>If you are having sex with two women and one more walks in, what do you have?

>Divorce proceedings most likely.

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>Why did OJ Simpson want to move to Tasmania?

>Everyone has the same DNA.

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>What do you call an Italian with one arm shorter than the other?

>A speech impediment.

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>What does it mean when the flag at a US Post Office is flying at half mast?

>They're hiring.

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>What do toilets, a clitoris, and an anniversary have in common?

>Men miss them all.

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>Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

>Breasts don't have eyes.

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>What do you call a New Zealand farmer with a sheep under each arm?

>A Pimp.

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>What's the difference between a Japanese zoo, and an Australian zoo?

>A Japanese zoo has a description of the animal on the front the cage, along with a recipe.

>

[Sweet]

hehe.. i seen some of these before.. but I think you hit everyone and type..lol..

[colin66]

like it

[rainbowgurl]

not offensive to me anyway....funny is funny