Dear santa

[Claire DC]

> >Dear Santa

> > >

> > >I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a good

> boy all yeer.

> > >

> > >YeR FReND,

> > >

> > >BiLLy

> > >

> > >Dear Billy,

> > >

> > >Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in trash

> disposal. How about I send you a f***ing dictionary so you can learn to

> read and

> > >write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger, at

> least HE can spell!

> > >

> > >Santa

> > >P.S. Have your mother start calling you Rain Man!

> > >

> > >________________________

> > >

> > >Dear Santa,

> > >

> > >I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask

> for is peace

> > >and joy in the world for everybody!

> > >

> > >Love,

> > >

> > >Sarah

> > >

> > >Dear Sarah,

> > >

> > >Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?

> > >

> > >Santa

> > >________________________

> > >

> > >Dear Santa,

> > >

> > >I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd

> like for my

> > >mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you

> can do.

> > >

> > >Love,

> > >

> > >Teddy

> > >

> > >Dear Teddy,

> > >

> > >What, like your dad's going to quit banging the babysitter

> like a screen

> > >door in a hurricane? Tell your mom to lose some weight and

> I'll talk to

> > >your daddy. Let me give you some nice Legos in the meantime

> and let's

> > >see if you can build up a family with those.

> > >

> > >Santa

> > >________________________

> > >

> > >Dear Santa,

> > >

> > >I want a new bike, play station, a train, some G.I. Joe's,

> a dog, a drum

> > >kit, a pony and a tuba.

> > >

> > >Love,

> > >

> > >Francis

> > >

> > >Dear Francis,

> > >

> > >I'll tell you what, I'll send you a round trip ticket to

> the North Pole

> > >so when you get here I can kick sense into your f***in

> head. Who names

> > >their kid "Francis " anyway. I bet you're gay. I'll send

> you the Village

> > >People album instead.

> > >

> > >Santa

> > >

> > >________________________

> > >

> > >Dear Santa,

> > >I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left

> carrots for

> > >your reindeer outside the backdoor.

> > >

> > >Love,

> > >

> > >Susan

> > >

> > >Dear Susan,

> > >

> > >Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in

> my face. You

> > >want to be nice for Santa? Leave me a bottle of Johnny

> Walker and some

> > >Toblerone and tell your mom to wait up.

> > >

> > >Santa

> > >

> > >________________________

> > >

> > >Dear Santa,

> > >

> > >What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you

> making Toys?

> > >

> > >Your friend,

> > >

> > >Thomas

> > >

> > >Dear Thomas,

> > >

> > >All toys get made in China. I have a condo in Vegas where I

> spend most

> > >of my time squeezing cocktail waitresses' asses, and losing

> money at the

> > >craps table. And then one shitty day a year, I send toys to

> all you

> > >little f**kers!

> > >

> > >Santa

> > >

> > >________________________

> > >

> > >Dear Santa,

> > >

> > >Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when

> we're awake,

> > >like in the song?

> > >

> > >Love,

> > >

> > >Jessica

> > >

> > >Dear Jessica,

> > >Are you really that stupid? I hope my reindeer crash into

> your window

> > >and trample your family in their sleep for having such a

> stupid child!

> > >I'm skipping your house.

> > >

> > >Santa

> > >

> > >________________________

> > >

> > >Dear Santa,

> > >

> > >I really really want a puppy this year. Please please

> please

> > >PLEASE, PLEASE could I have one?

> > >

> > >Timmy

> > >

> > >Timmy,

> > >

> > >That whiney, begging [censored] may [censored] with your folks, but

> that crap don't

> > >fly up here. You're getting a King Cobra instead. He likes

> it when you

> > >pat his head.

> > >

> > >Santa

> > >

> > >________________________

> > >

> > >Dearest Santa,

> > >

> > >We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into

> our home ?

> > >

> > >Love,

> > >

> > >Marky

> > >

> > >Mark,

> > >

> > >First of all, stop calling yourself "Marky," that's why

> you're getting

> > >your ass whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a

> house you live

> > >in a low-rent apartment complex in Clinton Third, I can get

> inside your

> > >[censored] hole just like all the hobo's in town do. I will mail

> your mom some

> > >crack the week before Christmas and she will leave me a

> key. I am

> > >sending You food stamps for Christmas

> > >

> > >Your friend,

> > >

> > >Santa

 

 

 

 

Actually made me think of creamys kind of answers dont ya think?!