Suicide / Depression

[Daydreamer]

 

I guess this situation has been discussed a lot before by you lot.

 

Someone considering suicide in the correct sense: Ending their life because living isn't worth the pain and they see no way out of it no matter how much positive thinking they try.

 

So... A man loses his girlfriend, someone who he thought was "The One" (Not from the Matrix )... Despite her admission that she doesn't want to be lovers anymore they both still love eachother terribly much, and agree to still remain the bestest of friends and travel the world together sometime in the future, as was their original plan.

 

Obviously this hurts the man anyway, considering how he wanted to devote his life to this woman, unlike anyone he'd ever known, and the only person he'd truly loved. (No theatrics there, just facts)

 

But on top of this, the relationship is a long distance one, and the man realises throughout his life he hasn't kept any close friends. He realises he really has no-one he can truly call a friend and spend time with now his relationship is over. He is suddenly totally alone and struggling to cope.

 

He can't simply go around a friends house or spend time with a group of them elsewhere, because he hasn't got that option.

 

He can't see his ex, and one true friend, because of the distance between them, plus the fact that she is leaving the country for a couple of weeks to see family.

 

He has no real hobbies and despite being advised to get one to meet new people, can't think of anything he really enjoys doing. He has a small handful of people who he could go out on the town with if he wanted... But the truth is he can't stand going out on the town. It bores him to death.

 

He is obviously plagued with the usual "Everything reminds him of her" syndrome, which doesn't help his cause, and he can think of absolutely no way to get out there and make some friends other than the one true friend.

 

What does he do? He needs some advice badly on how to get through the days of total loneliness

 

(Sorry for the long/depressing post by the way)

[squeakage]

is this a friend of yours?

 

Very sadley I lost my best friend through her depression when she eventually killed herself...

 

its an extremly hard thing to go through but you just have to try to be there for your friend...

 

maybe not the most proactive advice ive ever given but its all i have...

 

hope your friend is ok in the end...

 

[Daydreamer]

In regards to "Why come on here..." - I was a member a year or so ago before the revamp and hadn't recreated my account.

 

Took a break from clubbing and now going through this at the moment, I remembered what a fantastic community it was and how everyone was prepared to help and give good advice.

 

And no... that man is me, I just told the story in a weird way, sorry - To see what others would do in that situation.

[Lisa]

I think maybe you want to prehaps look in to what you really want for your future??

 

It is awful when you feel lonely, maybe, take a visit to the doctors, get some advise from him, even medication if need be.

 

have you thought about evening courses?? maybe get some extra eductation, in something that you find interesting, it gets you out of the house & you will meet new peeps!!

 

maybe worth thinking about hon Hope you get things sorted, if you wana chat pm me

[Guest]

Read a book

 

As stupid as that may sound to you, reading certain books CAN fill you with life again.

 

I read a book called "Bring Out The Magic In Your Mind" By Al Koran. You should be able to get it in book stores. I read that book when I wasn't feeling so full of life, although not as serious as your mates situation, and it made me believe in myself 100% and now I feel in certain aspects, im a different person. It raises your confidence and also makes you feel a more determined person. It makes you feel good about yourself and builds up your motivation. I think it's a fantastic book that makes you eager to help yourself.

 

As I say, that might sound stupid to you but what it has done for me, in regards to my outlook on life and mu future, is pretty amazing

 

People often think that by commiting suicide it's the easy way out. Start doing something or other to rebuild the strength within yourself and fight as hard as you can to get away from teh horrible situation. There is always a way out, you just have to find it and fight your way out. But you have to want to be able to do it. You have to want things to go right instead of wrong. You need to map out in your head what it is you want out of life. What career prospects you want to work towards, think about YOU.

 

By doing this, I believe you will gradually get out of this situation and regain a bit of happiness within yourself.

 

You need to do the positive things rather than the negative things. As well as thinking positive and not negative.

 

Best way to to do all this, is set yourself some goals and work ona way to achieve them

 

Im no expert on giving advice as I have not been in this situation myself but that's my two pennies worth

 

Hope things work out either way x

Edited March 30, 2004 by Maria

[Ian Cashman]

QUOTE (Daydreamer @ Mar 29 2004, 19:59)

What does he do? He needs some advice badly on how to get through the days of total loneliness

He should join CTW and get himself out at the weekends!

 

Seriously m8! When i split up with my ex after we bought a house together. i was well gutted. All my mates werte interested in was football (which i hate with venom) and had 'grown out' of clubbing, so i was left in the situation where is was;-

 

a) stay in, get drunk, watch football, slowly go downhill into depression and die

or

b)go out with the muppets off here

 

I chose B. And life has been vastly improved since... (Apart from the incident conerning my house nearly getting repossessed cos id spent all my money going out clubbing all the time and not paying the mortgage! That i have to BLAME CTW for and thank my parents for being great and bailing me out )

 

I can honestly say i've met some fucking good CLOSE mates off this site! (Met some right bloody odd people too! Hehe)

 

GO ON WHATS THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN!

 

 

 

P.S. It could be worse.. You could have a smack habit too..

Edited March 30, 2004 by Ian Cashman

[Guest]

Word !!

[Ginge]

Totally agree with Ian. (especially about the football thing....hate that bloody game)

 

I know its gonna sound like a cliche (sp) but since joining the board, my life has changed. I've met some bloody good people (albeit some strange ones aswell), and made some good friends on here. I know I dont go to many meet-ups but when I do, everyone makes me feel so welcome, its like one big family.

 

Someone once told me its better to have a few really close friends than alot of good friends...TOTALLY WRONG. I find its better to have more good friends as they will no doubt one day become your close friends.

 

Stay possitive, take each day as it come, if you need someone to talk to I'm sure alot of the guys and gals on here would be willing to chat with you via MSN about almost anything. I know some of them have done with me. We've got some DAMN good listeners on here.

 

Hope that helped...if not then I'm sorry.

 

[Daydreamer]

Many thanks for all the responses... 'Tis very much appreciated and giving me a few ideas I was struggling to think of myself

 

I was involved with CTW quite a bit about a year ago, but always felt like I didn't really fit in. So aye it might be a good idea for me to dive in and try again, but current situation meaning I'm not sure I have the confidence in myself to do it. If that makes any sense at all?

[Guest]

QUOTE (Daydreamer @ Mar 30 2004, 10:48)

Many thanks for all the responses... 'Tis very much appreciated and giving me a few ideas I was struggling to think of myself  I was involved with CTW quite a bit about a year ago, but always felt like I didn't really fit in. So aye it might be a good idea for me to dive in and try again, but current situation meaning I'm not sure I have the confidence in myself to do it. If that makes any sense at all?

No problemo mate.

 

Just join in on the board, we are a friendly bunch, dont let anyone tell you different.

 

Start coming out with us. It's not only clubbing we do on weekends, we go away for weekends, have fun, have a laugh, get pissed and all the rest of it.

 

Stick around mate

 

Join the community

 

Il come and beat your arse if you dont

Edited March 30, 2004 by Maria

[Lisa]

well get your bum in the general & come mae some new great friends

[Sarah C]

I have been in a similar situation, and you might think it cant have been love cos I was only 16 at the time but I was in a similar relationship and I couldnt understand why the person could hurt me so much and dint even seem to care.

 

But all I want to say now - if it helps or not - that you WILL get over this person, if thats what you're wanting.... and it will probably make you life easier when you finally come to realise there's a lot of people out there who might be just as good, if not better than this girl you love.

 

This is just my opinion from an experience I've had... it has taken me just under 2 years but trying my very hardest to focus on other things (in my case, DJing) has really helped me - I think you need to find something you really love doing or maybe an ambition and give that your best to achieve.

 

It keeps you busy and it gives you a goal.

Thats my opinion...

it helped me a lot and now this particular peson that I thought screwed my life up and I'd never get over - means shite all to me after what they did.

[Guest]

Time

[Guest Kev]

Hang the fuck on, who are you?

[Daydreamer]

I've just realised how much I missed the legendary Creamy C sense of humour

 

I used to be on here a year or so ago, as Lazy/Nik back then, but was one of the quiet ones I think. Only just come back and re-registered after the revamp to the site and stuff, but I do remember some people. Seems I have a lot to catch up on.

Edited March 30, 2004 by Daydreamer