Suicide / Depression

[Guest Kev]

QUOTE (Daydreamer @ Mar 30 2004, 11:54)

I've just realised how much I missed the legendary Creamy C sense of humour I used to be on here a year or so ago, as Lazy/Nik back then, but was one of the quiet ones I think. Only just come back and re-registered after the revamp to the site and stuff, but I do remember some people. Seems I have a lot to catch up on.

I'm guessing by previous names and your current one you're a kind of chilled out guy? Am I right ?

[Guest Kether]

My advice: get pissed, have a laugh, shag some birds, see your mates, wank lots. Don't watch shit like Sex and the City, Bambi or Footballer's Wives or listen to Coldplay.

 

Oh, and get professional help.

[Daydreamer]

QUOTE (Kev @ Mar 30 2004, 13:08)

I'm guessing by previous names and your current one you're a kind of chilled out guy? Am I right ?

Aye I am ...

[IAHH]

 

####waves back

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####sounds like u see the benefits, but know that can't be right. i don't think you're suicidal. if u got no joy or ability to get out of bed, see your doctor. take it from there.

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--> )... Despite her admission that she doesn't want to be lovers anymore they both still love eachother terribly much, and agree to still remain the bestest of friends and travel the world together sometime in the future, as was their original plan.>

 

####there will be other "Ones". thing to realise is that "Ones" are the one for your life as it is when you get to the point with them that your truly realise they are the one. No One can truly be the one for eternity cos we all change and you can't possibly anticipate how anyone will change, especially yourself. When you meet your next One, they will be for now and for all the *forseeable* futures.

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#####its a fucker to invest everything and to have a return of nothing. that's the gamble, but the game isn't over and you've still got yourself & your future. at some point you'll find an even better One, if and when that turns out to nolonger be the One, you'll find an even better & better One. this will continue throughout your life until you meet a One that can share your final path with you to the very end of one of your lives, but you won't know thats the case until its too late

 

you've only lost your past, you still have all of your present and future to give - be wiser in what you give and what you expect to recieve

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####me and my closest mates have all had the experience of love over mates, followed by the realisation that mates are not only the most important thing you need when your all & everything isn't all that. never lose your mates. if you aint got any, start networking until you find ones that know you at least as well as you know yourself.

 

clubland and internet chat is one of the easiest ways to be yourself for who you are and generally be accepted. cos of the nature of club/net relationships you can quickly move through groups until you no longer feel the need to meet new people

 

personally, i've found clubland better - locality, common interests, fuckups, people with bigger problems than your own, and the common desire to socialise against the backdrop of a loved music tend to win over having nothing else to do other than internet chat. the chemicals help, but i hope its not just the chems that bond us

 

long distance relationships have a terrible reputation for not working. in fact most relationships that have a terrible reputation for not working have that reputation because generally they don't work and there are extremely good reasons for it not working. usually by the time someone is known to be in love with a long distance person, its far too late for anyone to advise them against it.

 

Part of love is companionship, day to day sharing, commonality between lives (as well as healthy differences). a long distance does not provide that. neither does all the other 'nono' relationships. try to avoid falling for the wrong types - u're now in a position to drastically feel close to people who aren't the right people. clubland and internet are full of inappropriate people who seem to be the answer

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#####u need local mates, but in the mean time find a club that does your preffered music and has people there that you enjoy the presence of. once you've got some kind of stable social circle, you can think about it more

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#####probably a good thing. u need to lose your dependancy on someone you can not depend on as much as you would like. depend on yerself. you know your hung up, so give yerself a really hard slap in the face (if u agree, really do wack yerself)

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####i don't think anyone on this board has interests! posting on this board, you must be into the clubbing scene enough to think its worth posting here. you seem to know your problem and I'm sure just writing the post you made has cleared your mind.

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no way to get out there and make some friends other than the one true friend.>

 

####love is the association of everything in your universe with one person, because they complete you. therefore everything you think about will always have a connection with her, until time and your natural brain mechanics disassociate your universe with her involvement

 

i imagine: u know you can get out there, u just lack the confidence because for the first time in a long time (at least a year), you're depending on yourself who'm u probably think isn't adequate in every possible way that you fear you are. the fact you've posted here proves you know its possible to get out there - you just need enough people on here to tell you.

 

i think u are scared of taking the gamble of risking the fact that not only are you not good enough to be with the person that understood you most, but you would also be a not-good-enough with everyone else

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-->>

 

#####you need something to focus on. clubland is fabulously/dangerously easy to absorb all focus, but with the downsides with losing focus of stable living and you can come to depend on it for being your life - but i think its certainly better than trying to kill yourself and changing your mind half way thru

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####u needed it mate, no probs x

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####P.S. I've been single for 2 years and I'm not sure a sexual partner can be a true 'friend', because friendships are not based on the same kind of things.

 

i'm not saying friends are better (or worse), cos i know when i meet a good match, theres a chance i'll run the risk of fucking off all my friends because i get more from my partner than everyone else put togetrher. hopefully i'll be wise enough to live what i'm preaching here.

 

i reckon a partner is more than a friend until they are no longer a partner - thats why yer mates are always important enough to occasionally piss yer partner off when you go out on a wrecky wiv em.

 

the One will appear like a partner for life, if you want to protect yourself in future, ensure your life that you share with your One is also shared with mates that are also likely to be there for life.

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[Daydreamer]

I think that is the best and most understanding post I have ever read on the subject.

[Mark 2]

Hi Nik, think this is the same bloke i met early last year at passion??

Think you lived local to me so if you need a chat and wana beer some time pm me.

Been in the same hole mate (just before i met up with you), and trust me, things get better..just takes a little time to find your inner self but you will get there with a bit of self belief and support..

 

[Guest saffysue]

TBH I think everyone will fit in here if they give it time, even if you are quieter. I'm really shy too (not that anyone would believe that!)

but people here are so friendly. If you make it to meet ups or just come on here to chat you always have a laugh. Everyone's open and honest. The more you open yourself up to the possibility of havin fun and meetin people the more it will happen. Trust me I've been there!

Try to come to some of the nights out and we'll soon have you cheered up! Get to the docs too as lisa said. Maybe try counsellin or an assertiveness course?! That could help you to meet people and be more confident.

xx