Ruined the best frienship ever!

[Richard5]

Hi all

 

I'm a newbie, so treat me nice.

 

The reason I've just registered is because I've just f****d up the most special frienship I've ever had in the world, by telling her my true feelings, and she doesn't feel the same, and now things will never be the same again, and I feel such a fool.

 

We have none each other for years, we are so close, always out partying, danceing etc. Everybody thinks we are boyfriend/girlfriend anyway, but we have never done anyhting, just been very close, more like brother/sister really.

 

She's liveing in Cyprus for the Summer, I went over to visit, we partyed hard, got very drunk and I told her how I'd been feeling for a long time! Bad mistake, she has never thought of me like that, and never will, and now everything has changed and I'm gutted. I wish I could turn back the clock! I don't know what to do for the best now!

 

Any suggestions to cheer me up, or to make things better between us?

 

Any help greatfully received

 

R

[Signum]

you are still the same person she always liked, if she doesn't see it then you will have to make her see it, you just have to have a completely (well, fairly completely) honest talk with her.

 

Just a thought

 

If you make the effort its probably likely you'll just become stronger friends now.

 

hope this helps mate, good luck.

[Tara]

I've been in this situation before and I wish I could say that it will be ok, but in my experience it ruins everything.

Sorry thats not good advice but Good Luck to you!

[Dakers]

Firstly, welcome! You've made a good move signing up - this lot are the tops!I've been in a similiar situation recently. You've got to think objectively. You can't turn back the clock. You've had the friendship before, so it'll exist afterwards.

The important thing is to respect her decision. You can't change people's feelings, only they can. Take the next bit of time to relax. What you need to concentrate is making sure the relationship is solid. Make it clear that you don't want to lose the friendship.. you've both worked hard so far, and it would be such a shame to waste any of that.

Try and let things cool for a while. It's probably a lot for her to take in anyway. She's never thought of you in that light before, so it's probably tough on her too you know.

Just be very very cool and just be there if she wants to talk. Don't push the subject or you'll probably make things worse.

If she does decide she thinks of you in that way, then great, but otherwise just be there for her like you have always been.

 

Then again, I'm most certainly not the world's expert on this matter, as I've proved quite succesfully, so perhaps just telling me to bog off might work to cheer you up!

 

If you need a friendly ear to bounce stuff off without being judgemental, my messenger addy's at the bottom, and just shout, ok?

 

(and to everyone else, sorry for such a long post!)

[Dinger]

Been in a very similar situation to this one before, your only real option now is to talk to her as a friend and as Sig says show her that you are still the same person she always liked, she'll either react positively and you'll end up as stronger friends than before or she'll insist on going her own way, if she does that just let her go, pushing things will just make it a lot worse, hope that helps

[Dakers]

Just a kinda related point - to the person i referred to at the top... I'm sorry I'm an arsehole. I shouldn't be allowed anywhere near a phone with text capabilities in the near future. Sorry for it being such a silly start to things.

Serves me right for being honest for once in my life...

[kinkykell]

some good advice there matey...ive said alot of wot u said to a certain someone before..n hopefully it sunk in to them n all..

 

anyway back to the rich situation...the best thing u can do rich is jst to respect her decision whateva it may be..ive [censored] up a friendship once for quite a while..but thankfully it got back on track..it took a while mind..

 

i opened my big trap n told him how i felt about him n he was obviously shocked coz wed known eachother for years then i go n put that on him when he thought we was best friends..but eventually he sorted his head around it..n were back mates again i respected his decision of not wanting anything more than friendship from me its the best way 2 be..you cant force someone to feel about u..wot u feel for them..its up2 them to change the way they feel..or try to..but if they dont want to then u cant force them..if u can try n get the friendship back on track surely thats better than not being with her at all

 

hope that made some sense...hmmmm good luck anyway matey

 

[ 01 July 2002, 23:15: Message edited by: kinkykell ]

[CrashinCarey]

id say keep calling her and telling her you two were meant for each other, im sure shell come around

[Dakers]

Mr Yank, I'd like to see you try that tactic. I'm still currently in fear of my manhood being severed with a rusty spoon the next time I see the lady.

I still recommend letting things cool slightly. Let her dictate things for a bit. She'll need time to think about things. Who knows, perhaps she might decide she does like you in that way, but I think it's best to take a softly softly approach. You've made her clear on your feelings towards her, there's nothing more you can do to hurry things along. What will be will be.

[CrashinCarey]

what you should really do is fly to cyprus and follow her around, but maek sure you have a fake mustache, sunglass, and a baseball cap, periodically once you have gotten down her routine, drop her message on coasters like 'im watching you', then have some other guy come and try to attack her, and then you come in and beat him up, youll be her hero

[FredTheBaddie]

And who says Americans are insensitive ?

 

Only joking, mate ...

[Richard5]

Well thanks for all the reply's guys and girls, some of them helpful, some funny (which is good, I need cheering up!) and others just weird!

 

Anyway I'm going down the route of playing things cool and hopeing to rebuild and restart where we left off.

 

At the end of the day her frienship means more to me than anything else and I'd do anything too keep it.

 

Wish me luck, I'll keep you posted on how things go.

 

Thanks very much

 

Richard

[ajfrench]

Richard

 

The way I see it, is... if she respects you as a friend as much as you respect her, then even though you let her know your feelings, then she shouldnt be upset and should still love you as a friend...I dont think you have ruined a friendship, just knocked it off course for a few days...everything will be ok soon.

 

AJ

[pike]

ive been in the situation where someone has said that to me, and peoples advice is right, just give her space and treat her the same as u always have, alternativley, tell her you were wrong and talking crap, in reality you think u are gay, and then she will welcome you back as her poor, confused with his sexuality mate and all will once again be well.

[CrashinCarey]

i like my idea better