LOL

[TidyTraxGrant]

> > >

> > > A radio station recently ran a phone-in

> > > competition

> > > to find the most embarrassing moments in listeners lives.

> > > The

> > > following are the final four place getters:

> > >

> > > 4th place

> > >

> > > "While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler

> > > decided to

> > > release some pent-up energy and started to run amuck. I was

> > > finally

> > > able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust

> > > and

> > > annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she didn't

> > > start

> > > behaving herself right now, she would be punished. To my

> > > horror, she

> > > looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as

> > > threatening, "If you

> > > don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw

> > > you kissing

> > > Daddy's pee-pee last night!".

> > >

> > > The silence was deafening, after this enlightening exchange.

> > > Even the

> > > tellers

> > > stopped what they were doing!

> > >

> > > I mustered the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank

> > > with my

> > > daughter in tow. The last thing that I heard as the door

> > > closed behind

> > > me were the screams of laughter."

> > >

> > > 3rd place

> > >

> > > "It was the day before my 18th birthday. I was living at

> > > home, but my

> > > parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my

> > > girlfriend over

> > > for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making

> > > love, we

> > > heard the telephone ringing downstairs. I suggested to my

> > > girlfriend

> > > that I give her a piggy-back ride to the phone. Since we

> > > didn't want

> > > to miss the call, we didn't have time to get dressed. When

> > > we got to

> > > the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on and a

> > > whole

> > > crowd of people yelled "surprise". My entire family, ...

> > > aunts,

> > > uncles, grandparents, cousins and all of my friends were

> > > standing

> > > there! My girlfriend and I were frozen to the spot in a

> > > state of shock

> > > and embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity. Since>

> > > then, no-one

> > > in my family has planned a surprise party again."

> > >

> > > 2nd place

> > >

> > > "A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When

> > > she finally

> > > got up to the checkout, she learned that one of the items

> > > had no price

> > > tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the

> > > public

> > > address system and boomed out for all the store to hear.

> > > "PRICE CHECK

> > > ON LANE 13. TAMPAX, SUPERSIZE." That was bad enough, but

> > > somebody at

> > > the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word

> > > "Tampax" for

> > > "Thumbtacks". In a very business-like tone, a voice boomed

> > > back over

> > > the public address system: DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN

> > > WITH

> > > YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU BELT IN WITH A HAMMER?"

> > >

> > > AND THE WINNER IS!

> > >

> > > This one happened at a major Australian University in

> > > October last

> > > year. In a biology lecture, a professor was discussing the

> > > high

> > > glucose levels found in semen. A young female freshman,

> > > raised her

> > > hand and asked, "If I understand what you are saying, there

> > > is a lot

> > > of glucose in male semen, as in sugar?" "That's correct."

> > > responded

> > > the professor, going on to add some statistical data.

> > > Raising her

> > > hand again, the girl asked, "Then why doesn't it taste

> > > sweet?" After a

> > > stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing, the

> > > poor girl

> > > turned bright red and as she realised exactly what she had

> > > inadvertently said (or rather implied), she picked up her

> > > books, and

> > > without a word walked out of the class, and never returned.

> > > However,

> > > as she was going out of the door, the professor's reply was

> > > a classic.

> > > Totally straight-faced, he answered her question, "It

> > > doesn't taste

> > > sweet because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip of

> > > your

> > > tongue and not in the back of your throat!"

[MItz]

QUALITY!!