NEW SLANG DICTIONARY 2002

[Nick G]

AEROPLANE BLONDE

One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.

 

AUSSIE KISS

Similar to a French kiss, but given down under.

 

BADLY PACKED KEBAB

A vulgar (but still excellent) term for the female genitalia.

 

BEAVER LEAVER

A homosexual.

 

BEER COAT

The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze

cruise at 3 in the morning.

 

BEER COMPASS

The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after a

booze cruise, even though you're too pissed to remember where you

live, how you get there, and where you've come from.

 

BEER SCOOTER

The ability to get home after a night out on the booze and not

remember it i.e. "I don't even remember getting home last night,

I must have caught the beer scooter".

 

BOBFOC

Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch.

 

BOILER SUIT

The prosecution charge that you did wilfully, and with phallus

aforethought, score with a BOBFOC last night. This charge is usually

brought by a kangaroo court of your friends in the pub on Saturday

night.

 

BONE OF CONTENTION

A hard-on that causes an argument, e.g. one that arises when a man

is watching Womens beach volleyball on TV with his girlfriend.

 

BREAKING THE SEAL

Your first piss in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After

breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will

be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.

 

BRITNEY SPEARS

Modern Slang for 'beers', e.g. "Couple of Britneys please, Doreen".

 

BRUCE LEE

Erect nipple (as in, a hard Nip).

 

BUNNY-BOILER

An unhinged and overly possessive woman. From the rabbit boiling

scene in the film "Fatal Attraction", e.g. "I don't like the look of

that aeroplane blonde - could be a bunny boiler".

 

 

 

 

DOUBLE BASS

A sexual position in which the man enters the woman from behind, and

then fiddles with the woman's nipples with one hand and her Budgie's

Tongue with the other. The position is similar to that used when

playing a double bass instrument, but the sound produced is slightly different.

 

DRINK-LINK

A modern term for a cash point machine (ATM). Named so because it is

common to visit one before going out on the booze.

 

ETCH-A-SKETCH

Trying to draw a smile on a woman's face by twiddling both of her

nipples simultaneously.

 

FLOGGING ON

Surfing the Internet for some left-handed websites.

 

FREE THE TADPOLES

Liberate the residents of Wank Tanks.

 

FRIGMAROLE

Unnecessarily time-consuming foreplay.

 

F*CKSHITF*CKSHITF*CKSHIT

The sound made when driving through too narrow a gap at too high a

speed.

 

GOING FOR A MACSHIT

Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food,

you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is a MacSh1t With Lies.

 

GREYHOUND

A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.

 

HAND-TO-GLAND COMBAT

A vigorous masturbation session.

 

JOHNNY-NO-STARS

A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who

works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges

displaying stars that staffs at fast-food restaurants often wear to

show their level of training.

 

MILLENIUM DOMES

The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed

from the outside, but there's actually F*ck-all in there worth

seeing.

 

MONKEY BATH

A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo! Oo! Oo!

Aa!Aa!Aa!".

 

MUMBLER

An attractive girl in tight shorts or jeans, etc. i.e. you can see

the 'lips' moving but can't quite make out what they're saying.

 

 

 

 

MYSTERY BUS

The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the

toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive

people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come

back in.

 

MYSTERY TAXI

The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before

you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves

a 10-Pinter in your bed instead.

 

NBR (No Beers Required)

Someone that you'd chat up instantly in the pub. The opposite of a 10-Pinter.

 

NELSON MANDELA

Rhyming Slang for 'Stella' (the lager).

 

ONE IN THE DEPARTURE LOUNGE

The need to defecate imminently.

 

PEARL HARBOUR (Cold - weather). An example of it would be - "It's a bit Pearl Harbour out there!" Meaning - there's a nasty 'nip' in the air.

 

PICASSO ARSE

A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like

she's got 4 buttocks.

 

RAGMAN'S COAT

Untidy and unkempt pubic hair e.g. "That mumbler looks quite fit but

I bet she's got a kebab like a ragman's coat!"

 

RELEASE A CHOCOLATE HOSTAGE

To defecate e.g. " I've got one in the departure lounge, so I'm just

nipping out to release a chocolate hostage".

 

SALAD DODGER

An excellent phrase for an overweight person.

 

SKIN-CHIMNEY - see BADLY PACKED KEBAB

 

SPERM WAIL

A verbal outburst during the male orgasm.

 

STARFISH TROOPER or ARSETRONAUT

A homosexual.

 

SWAMP-DONKEY

A deeply unattractive woman.

 

TART FUEL or BITCH PISS

Bottled Alcopops, e.g. Hooch, regularly consumed by young women.

 

TEN-PINTER

Someone that you'd only chat up after drinking at least 10 pints.

 

TITANIC

A lady who goes down first time out.

 

TODGER DODGER

A lesbian.

 

TWO-BAGGER or DOUBLE BAGGER

Someone that you'd need 2 paper bags to have sex with (1 to cover

their head, and 1 to cover yours, in case their bag falls off).

 

UP ON BLOCKS

Menstruating i.e. out of action, a bit like a car in a garage. e.g.

"Don't think I'll be in luck tonight lads, the missus is up on

blocks".

 

VAGINA DECLINER

A homosexual.

 

WALLACE AND GROMIT

Rhyming Slang for 'vomit'.

 

 

W*NK SEANCE

During a masturbation session, the eerie feeling that your dead

relatives are watching you with disgust.

 

WYNONA RYDER

Rhyming Slang for 'cider'. e.g. "Pint of Wynona, half a Nelson and a

bottle of tart fuel please Doreen".

 

X-PILES

Unwanted visitors from Uranus.