NOTIFICATION TO ALL STAFF REGARDING LANGUAGE

[Nick G]

NOTIFICATION TO ALL STAFF REGARDING LANGUAGE

 

 

It has been brought to our attention that some individuals have been using foul language during the execution of their duties. Due to complaints from some employees who are more easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.

 

However, we do realise the importance of staff being able to properly express their feelings when communicating with other employees. With this in mind, the Human Resources Department has compiled a list of code phrase replacements so the proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner without risking offence to our more sensitive co-workers.

 

Old Phrase New Phrase

 

No [censored] way

I’m fairly sure that’s not feasible

 

You’re [censored] kidding

Really?

 

Tell someone who gives a [censored]

Have you run that by …..

 

No c*nt told me

I wasn’t involved in that project

 

I don’t have [censored] time

Perhaps I can [censored] late

 

Who [censored] cares

Are you sure that’s a problem

 

Eat [censored] and die

You don’t say

 

Eat [censored] and die motherfucker

You don’t say sir

 

Kiss my arse

So you’d like me to help you

 

He’s a [censored] prick

He’s somewhat insensitive

 

She’s a ball busting bitch

She’s an aggressive go getter

 

You haven’t got a [censored] clue

You could use more training

 

This place is [censored]

We’re a little disorganised today

 

What sort of [censored] wit are you

You’re new here aren’t you

 

[censored] off

I’ll look into it and get back to you

 

[censored] off dickhead

I no longer require your assistance

 

[censored] off Shithead

Well there you go

 

You’re a [censored] wanker

You’re my Senior Officer and I respect you

 

[censored] loser

That was unfortunate

 

How did you get this piece of [censored] to [censored]

Well done