I thought this one was piss funny

[nice1bruva]

A man gets on a plane and takes his seat only to realise that the occupant next to him is a parrot. The plane takes off and after some minutes a

 

stewardess approaches. "Can I get you anything sir?" she asks the man.

 

"Yes, I'll have a coffee, please, when you have a minute. Thank you."

 

"And for you sir?" she asks the parrot.

 

"A double whisky and coke,and make it quick damn it, I'm thirsty" demands the parrot.

 

The stewardess returns a few minutes later with the parrot's drink, which he snatches without a word. "Excuse me", says the man, but I ordered a coffee".

 

 

"Did you, sir? I'm sorry, I'll get you one straight away."

 

By which time the parrot had finished his drink.

 

"Anything else for you sir?" the stewardess asks the parrot.

 

"Yeah, I want another double whisky and coke, tart. Make it Quick,I can't wait all night".

 

Again the stewardess returns with the parrot's drink and without the coffee.

 

 

Naturally the man thinks the only way he is going to get any

 

service is to adopt the attitude of his fellow passenger.

 

"Listen here you stupid slapper," he says to the stewardess,

 

"I want my bloody coffee and I want it now, you cow".

 

Two minutes later the stewardess returns but this time with two enormous

 

security guards, who proceed to manhandle the man and the parrot to the

 

back of the plane, open the door and eject them from the plane.

 

As they hurtle uncontrollably towards Earth from 6 miles up the parrot

 

turns to the man and says, "You're a bit of a lippy b*stard for someone who can't fly, aren't you?"

 

[Nick G]

Nice one, Nice1 !