[Review] - Tidy Weekender 5 Friday

[Bushy]

Tidy Trax Weekender 5

Prestatyn Sands

26-28th March 2004

 

Friday

 

Well, well, well. After months of anticipation it was once again time for the weekender madness to take over the lives of 3500 clubbers. Pontins in Prestatyn was the venue, as the sleepy holiday resort on the north coast of Wales was transformed into the capital off all things Tidy. After Tidy Weekender 4 finished, and all the tears were shed at the end of another weekender, I don’t know how people stayed sane as they waited for instalment number 5. Well, they did, and they came to lose their sanity for 72 hours, once again.

 

For the 5th round of Tidy’s addictive weekenders, they incorporated a military theme, as we arrived, and collected our chalet keys and laminates, Sgt Pickles and Major Mozart were seen walking around in full officers uniform. For the first time at a Weekender event, Tidy issued a dress code for the Friday night. Camo. This had not gone down very well with numerous message boards, including CTW. So the dress code had been relaxed a little, and everybody was asked to wear at least one item relating to the military, even a green coloured top was good enough.

 

Checking into our chalet, we realised we were just around the corner from the VIP area, which was housing a lot of people we knew. Our chalet number was 189, which now has legendary status, but that will be brought up later in the review. We sorted ourselves out, ready for the night ahead, had a quick scout round the area, to see who was in close proximity, we had Frazzles chalet and Clubbing_si’s chalet, and we paid them a quick visit, and then headed off back to 189.

 

A quick change into me camo outfit of green cargo pants, army surplus t-shirt, and helmet, I was ready to advance from my trench and go over the top for the first time this weekend.

 

Once inside I entered the main arena where Riley and Durrant were playing some lovely trance to start the weekend off, I have a memory of them dropping ‘bullet in the gun’ and going crazy to it. As they were reaching the end of their set, I headed off to the toilets. Inside taking a slash was none other than Lee Haslam, what was to follow was the first bit of comedy to a very funny weekend. Two randoms were taking a slash near Mr H, and having a bit of a convo with him, to which I thought nothing of, until I heard them giving him a bit of hassle, banter style, and then came the punch line, the giggle bit. ‘So Lee, tell me, do you ever do any scratching? You know, like Eddie Halliwell’ Lee Haslam replies, ‘No lads, I don’t’ to which they reply…………. It’s a corker…………… ‘Yeah that’s right, the only thing you can scratch is your arse!’ I thought it was that funny, I nearly pissed on me boots. Lee took it all in his stride, and was having a laugh with them. It was a scene I think I will never forget.

 

Once I was back on the dancefloor, as in true Tidy Weekender style, I lost everyone. I went back to where we were all dancing, and lo and behold, Jellybaby, Scream, Sexynic and Tresh had all disappeared. Then Shaney_R appeared from nowhere, asking me where everyone was. Cue, mission round the dancefloor, through the arcades, into arena 2, and back to where we were dancing, only to find everyone back there. I’m sure they do it on purpose and follow you around the venue.

 

So once were all united again, it was time to take a proper look around. As Lee Haslam set about making people dance, we left and sampled arena 2, which tonight was ‘Yoji & Friends’ This is were we bumped into the likes of Liam Styles, Crill and Frazzle, getting on down to some filthy hard beats from Oliver Klitzing, anyhow, smirking at his surname was not on anyones mind, as everyone was there for a brilliant blend of Hardstyle that would make your eyes water even if the sound system was a little below a standard you’d expect from tidy. After a stomp to him, for most of his set, we set off next door to Arena 3, and into the aptly named funky room – ‘Make love not war’. As soon as we got in, I got dirty looks from Shane, for taking him into a funky room, but Tresh, Jellybaby and I were going nowhere, and started to funk it up big time, to the Trophy Twins, as they played some great vocal house that just put a big grin on your face. We lasted about 15 minutes in there, as Shane came running in to tell us the Tidy Boys were about to start.

 

As a lot of you may know, my opinion recently of the Tidy Boys, is not exactly colourful, BUT, their set intros at Tidy Weekenders are NOT to be missed. Last time they flew out of cardboard boxes in full cyber, this time was something completely different.

 

The lights went down, and as only Tidy do, their intro was littered with samples from a selection of Tidy Releases. Being the National Anthem Theme in Arena 1, all the old faves were littered in the intro. Music is the Drug, Man On The Moon and Coming on Strong to name a few. Then with a flash bang of a firework Amo and Andy flew across the stage suspended from the ceiling on cables, in full combat gear and imitation machine guns. Once they had their fun, with pickles doing random somersaults while attached to the cables, they unhooked, and came running round, winding the ram-jammed arena up into a frenzy. Amadeus runs over to the decks and starts to mix in the first tune, as Andy Pickles runs around from one side of the stage to the other. By now everyone is smiling, screaming, jumping and pointing in unison at the boys tidy. The atmosphere is near explosive as Amo does most of the mixing while Andy Pickles does the entertaining. Tidy mentioned that they had sorted the heat problem in Arena 1, well this was its first test, and I have to say it had failed, as it was as hot as any of the previous events, and it wasn’t long passed midnight!! As the temperature soared, I had to get rid of the helmet. So Tresh and I headed back off to the chalet, to change me headwear.

 

We arrived back from the barracks about an hour later, feeling very spongy. As we hunted down Jellybaby, we went into Arena 2 again, and caught some of Adam from Lab4. We stayed in their for about 5 minutes, I decided it was too hard for the mrs and that she wouldn’t be in there. I remember saying to Tresh on the way out that the music was ‘proper nosebleed stuff’ he thought I said I had a nosebleed lol. Eventually we met up with Jellybaby in the arcade. She was having a conversation with a jonny Knoxville lookalike through the glass. It was weird.

 

It was now about 2am, and I couldn’t quite get into what was offered from tidy. The night seemed to go into a slump, and I couldn’t get out of it. I decided to go back to the chalet again and to try and bump myself up a bit, you know, get back into the swing of things. Tresh joined me. I think it speaks for itself what went on in the chalet. I felt like a sniper while we were there, hiding in a hole for ages, until the right opportunity arose to pounce out and get back into the action.

 

Upon re-entry into no-mans-land, we headed straight into the arcade, hooked up with the platoon at the previously arranged rendezvous, and marched into Arena 2, to do battle with Yoji and Friends. Once inside we met up with Liam, Crill, Frazzle etc. and joined forces to do battle with Sterling Moss. This was the first time I’d seen him, as I stupidly passed up the chance the previous week after wildchild, all I can say is I was highly impressed. His mixing was spot on, his in-set effects were awesome, and tune selection was fab. I was later told, that he played a average set, by his standards. I was shocked. I stomped the hardest I had all night, and then I heard ‘One Night In Hackney’ for the first time. I was in my element. Then a girl appeared behind the decks, and just lifted the needle off the record that was playing, and she looked all confused. Sterling Moss then jumped up, grabbed the girl and pushed her over to the bouncers as the girl shouted abuse and the crowd laughed and jeered.

Dawn later told me that the girl walked straight past the security, onto the stage while Moss was looking through his record bag. The girl was seen throwing water over the bouncers later. I don’t know what happened to her, but she was far from with it. I wanted what she’d had!

 

Mr Moss came to a close, playing on til about 04:10, as Mr Headliner, Yoji Biomehanika messed about with a Apple Laptop to get himself set up ready; the Arena suddenly became very busy. I believe people come to see his hair just as much as him play, as he took to the decks with white streaks in his long locks. As Yoji set off with his first tune, you could tell the sound system was not gonna handle it. Distorted sound from the speakers said it all; this system could not handle Yoji. It was a shame, as I looked forward to hearing Yoji, as the only previous time I heard him was a year before at TW3, where he rocked Arena 1 on the Saturday night. This time though, it was Arena 2, with a sub-standard sound system. His first mix in my eyes was terrible, as there seemed to be a herd of wilder beast running through the arena, which was deeply disappointing. It didn’t seem to bother the majority of the crazy loons in this Arena though; they danced like mad, and made lots of noise. Sadly I found the second mix as the first, coupled with the sound system, it just wasn’t going to keep me in there for another 40 minutes or so until 5.

 

As we left we peaked our heads in for 5 minutes worth of Cally & Juice, who seemed to be playing to a half full arena, which was a shame, as they played a couple of good tracks. I would have stayed but the disappointment of Yoji’s set took me down, and I just wanted to get back to the chalet for the upcoming madness that would be the Friday Night Afterparty!!!!!!!

 

As far as afterparties go, this was a lighthearted affair, with various comings and goings from certain people, in short the likes of Liam, Crill, Clubbing_si, Highlander, Moo and the ever-present Tresh. As we all know what goes on at afterparties that the likes of this group of people I’ve mentioned attend, I’m not going to go into too many details. We basically got smashed and had a wee chat and dug the odd hole here or there, for people (including myself) to fall into. Liam seemed to be forever at the table, playing about on the surface with his flexible friend. Shaney_r by now was getting into the swing of it, and the entertainment was about to begin. If you haven’t met Shane, then I can tell you that he is without doubt the funniest person you can meet. Whether it was just random comments directed across the chalet, or just actions he was doing, everyone just sat back and took it all in. The highlight was the random screams at people walking about outside, he didn’t know them, he didn’t care.

 

Moo kept saying to me, that Shane was crazy, and he’d never seen anything like him. When the oxford dictionary people put their word explanation in, it should read:

 

Random (Ra-n-dom) – Shaney_R

 

As mid-morning approached the party attendees dispersed back to their own chalets, or off to someone else’s. We just chilled out, and got our heads down, ready for the Saturday night.