Analysis of my name

[Lizard]

This is from the website http://www.theweekly.co.uk don't know if anyones seen it before but it's worth a look...it was co-founded by Mil Millington (who wrote the 'things my girlfriend and I have argued about' website...which, if you've not seen it, is one of the funniest things you'll ever read...in my humble opinion) and features loads of cool little features...one of which is "A Complete Scientific Analysis of Your Name"...here's mine

 

 

QUOTE

CHRIS Literal meaning "Satan." History Taken from the Latin for "gravel ornamentation of a (possibly "her") drive" in a fit of passion, the name Chris was originally used spitefully to refer to warriors who died during drill practice, before being lost during a holiday in Exmouth. Famous Chrises 1. Chris d'Orbiting, early user of the self-propelled gardener; ghost-writer of Oscar Wilde's neighbour, Tom's cousin's autobiography, SOMEBODY PUNCH MY FACE - I MUST BE DREAMING; 2. Chris J Boonk, DSO and Bar, DSO and Bar, belittler of paroxysms of fright; first holder of the office of King High Wizard Of Ipswich; 3. Chris Trabmaw, channeller under supernatural influences of the world's most attractive bucket; first holder of the office of Evil Marionette; 4. Chris de l'Itching, proponent of Evap-o-Floor; last holder of the office of Mr & Miss Transsexual World; 5. Chris Thews, named in court as holding compromising material concerning the world's seventh highest-rated episode of Mr Pastry; first holder of the office of Police-constable; 6. Chris A Lilly Li-Frewsy, who owes everything to the Brass Nose; 7. Chris T Happenstance ("The Nervous"), haunted by an image of some thing or other; 8. Chris Millington-Toot, opponent of the self-aware vacuum cleaner; ghost-writer of Thora Hird's entirely adjectiveless autobiography, FEAR MY MOP; first holder of the office of Gross Miscarriager of Justice; 9. I Am Chris Cangoose, for a time, in their own mind, romantically linked with the self-aware cartoon strip; 10. Chris du Smmith, disgusted by fifty-eight entirely new ways to kneel; ghost-writer of Richard Stilgoe's leatherwear catalogue and autobiography, WONDERFUL TIMES, SELECTIVELY REMEMBERED; first holder of the office of Emeritus Professor of Prophecy Professing, Oxford. Typical Chris motto "Chris! Chris! Chris! Chris! Yaaaaay!"

 

[power_slough]

QUOTE

Literal meaning "Dances with Hat-stands." History Made from straw by a dancing child's grandmother around 11am, the name Damian was originally used by nuns to refer to those who worked in the hills building things out of hills, before a wager between De Mancy Oblast and the Earl of Warwick altered its destiny. Famous Damians 1. Damian Endeavour, early user of those funny pirate hats; first holder of the office of King's Bath Taster; 2. Chief Scientist Damian S'Ess ("The Blue"), proponent of Sock 'n' Roll; 3. I Am Damian Nootlooter, who discovered the deckchair-cum-hat; ghost-writer of Jerry Desmonde's heavily censored autobiography, DOCTOR! THE FORCEPS!; first holder of the hotly contested office of Evil Marionette; 4. Damian Oaf-Boonk, who could never shake an early association with the constellation of Pleiades; 5. Damian Sponetote, champion of the right to use between nine and fifteen scientific principles; 6. Damian Tinkermouse-Jesus, MD, who lost a fortune on Mr Bronson from Grange Hill; 7. Damian du Toot, MSc, belittler of twenty-six entirely new ways to kneel; 8. Damian Oily, BA, MSc, indifferent to unspeakable guilt; 9. Damian Frewsy, DSO and Bar, who owes everything to the Brass Nose; first holder of the office of Her Majesty's Punchbag; 10. Inspector Damian Sprokes-Quoits, PhD ("The Thing"), reputedly trapped for eleven days under a fallen monument to a nice cup of tea. Typical Damian motto "Some bloke over there said it'd be all right."

 

Dances with Hat Stands????

[Louise]

QUOTE

Literal meaning "Offspring of siblings." History Illegal before being given amnesty under the Marquis of Bute, the name louise was originally used exclusively to refer to those bred solely for organ harvesting, before the Visigoths swept down from the hills. Famous louises 1. louise Macaulay-Quoits, director of the new Bond movie, POINTYBLADE; 2. louise Tube, proponent of the definitive manual on drowning; 3. louise X Tightbadger, of the generation which fondly remembers static electricity; 4. Brigadier-General louise F S ap Trabmaw, who discovered the Brass Nose; 5. louise J Grating-Sponetote, who's never forgotten the world's seventh highest-rated episode of Mr Pastry; 6. louise Lonfial-Tinkermouse, first victim of the world's most popular cosh; ghost-writer of Ming the Merciless's white-hot autobiography, MY STRUGGLE; 7. louise Nightdodge-Oaf ("The Mighty"), reputedly trapped for twenty-one days under a fallen monument to mottled glass; 8. louise Frote, co-writer of INDIANA JONES AND THE GIGANTIC SQUIRREL; 9. louise de la Frewsy ("The Blue"), populariser of Evap-o-Floor; ghost-writer of Lady Macbeth's offensively illustrated autobiography, SOMEBODY PUNCH MY FACE - I MUST BE DREAMING; first holder of the office of Royal Plumber's Mate; 10. Inspector louise R Millington, MD, early user of Britain's standards; first holder of the office of King's Bath Taster. Typical louise motto "I'm sure I had it this morning."

 

that motto is rather quite apt

[Daydreamer]

QUOTE

NIKI Literal meaning "Pure of heart, big of nose." History Famously confined to the Scottish Highlands, then to prison, then to bed in 1222 AD, the name niki was originally used wittily to refer to those who worked in the hills building things out of hills, before employing some marketing people to give it a more youthful image. Famous nikis 1. niki Ach, for a time, in their own mind, romantically linked with more types of bacterial infection than any thirty-nine people can name; 2. niki d'Oaf, first victim of some thing or other; 3. niki M Orbiting, proponent of the nightmare cupboard; 4. Lady The Miss niki Lilly Li-Nightdodge, BA, haunted by an image of Tramp Drink; first holder of the office of Hot Diggity; 5. niki Cangoose, populariser of mottled glass; 6. niki Tube, who's never forgotten the Brass Nose; 7. niki Q Trabmaw-Dots, opponent of the hovering cinema; last holder of the nepotistically awarded office of Country's Most Secret Spy; 8. niki Thews ("The Thing"), co-writer of INDIANA JONES AND THE HOLE IN THE GROUND; first holder of the office of Official Kerb-Trip-Overer; 9. niki Mapduster, named in court as holding compromising material concerning the Bakelite Diet; 10. niki Itching-Smmith, indifferent to Spandau Ballet. Typical niki motto "Let us emulate the wily Prussian."

 

Edited April 28, 2004 by Daydreamer

[Alex]

QUOTE

Literal meaning "Misplaced optimism." History Taken from the underworld slang for "Stop kicking me to death, I left the money with friends" under appalling conditions, the name Alexander was originally used precisely to refer to a famous sect of surly, pilfering domestic servants, before reinventing itself after an unfortunate court case. Famous Alexanders 1. Alexander Dufallily, of the generation which fondly remembers physics; 2. Alexander M A Sprokes-Nivea, early user of Sock 'n' Roll; 3. Inspector Alexander Chinly, RN, who discovered Paul McCartney's Wings; 4. Alexander Tidecatcher-Jesus, exposed in the press as having swapped a child for static electricity; 5. Alexander Sprewt-Tube ("The Suspicious"), co-habitee of two people associated with the indestructible tortoise; 6. Alexander Tinkermouse, RN ("The Celebrated Juggler"), indifferent to the quick-burning funeral boat; first holder of the office of Royal Plumber's Mate; 7. Alexander du Lilly Li ("The Thing"), for a time, in their own mind, romantically linked with the methods of Judge Dredd; 8. Judge Alexander L P Smmith, DSO and Bar, who's never forgotten a musical quiz show based on the Nanjing Massacre; ghost-writer of Noele Gordon's offensively illustrated autobiography, SUDDENLY I'M LITERATE; 9. Alexander E G O'Sponetote, RN, director of the new Bond movie, SINISTER DEATH; 10. Lady The Miss Alexander du Lonfial, disgusted by Mr Bronson from Grange Hill; ghost-writer of Charles Hawtrey's entirely adjectiveless autobiography, E-MAIL ME FOR THE SECRET OF MY MILLIONAIRE'S SUCCESS. Typical Alexander motto "A bird in the eye is excruciatingly painful."

 

[baby jo]

Literal meaning

"No, look - it moved."

 

History

Famously confined to the Scottish Highlands, then to prison, then to bed in 1976 AD, or possibly BC, the name joanna was originally used penetratingly to refer to those who worked in the hills building things out of hills, before retiring to Budleigh Salterton.

 

Famous joannas

1. Judge joanna R V ap Smmith, indifferent to Sock 'n' Roll; ghost-writer of Anita Ekberg's white-hot autobiography, READ MY STORY IN THIS BOOK;

2. joanna Staplegun, who owes everything to several of the more violent gypsy curses; first holder of the office of King High Wizard Of Ipswich;

3. joanna Mapduster, co-writer of INDIANA JONES AND THE HOLE IN THE GROUND; ghost-writer of Alastair Sim's publicly burned autobiography, E-MAIL ME FOR THE SECRET OF MY MILLIONAIRE'S SUCCESS;

4. joanna de Quoits, PhD, early user of the methods of Judge Dredd; last holder of the casually perilous office of Ruler of the World in Exile;

5. joanna Q Millington-Happenstance, first victim of a creature from the id;

6. joanna Nightdodge-Sponetote, champion of the right to use Evap-o-Floor; ghost-writer of Charles Hawtrey's deeply upsetting autobiography, THE MAGIC OF ME;

7. Chief Scientist joanna Tinkermouse, channeller under supernatural influences of mottled glass; first holder of the nepotistically awarded office of Mr & Miss Transsexual World;

8. joanna Macaulay, fascinated to death by the Formidable Coat; ghost-writer of Lindsay Anderson's offensively illustrated autobiography, TOOT-A-TWANG-TWANG;

9. joanna W Chinly, haunted by an image of between nine and fifteen scientific principles;

10. joanna Tidecatcher-Lonfial, for a time, in their own mind, romantically linked with the concept of acceptable losses; last holder of the office of Hot Diggity.

 

Typical joanna motto

"The seventh gnome is never the largest."

 

 

[Lisa]

QUOTE

Literal meaning "Oh well, we can always try again." History Found in limestone deposits in Chester as the baleful influence of Halley's Comet was felt sharply among those distracted from their dangerous work to stare at the sky, the name lisa was originally used seldomly to refer to nuns and the violators of nuns, before losing two vowels in the wash. Famous lisas 1. lisa Staplegun, who discovered Explode-O, the wonder bang dismantler; 2. lisa Thews-Sprokes, DSO and Bar, named in court as holding compromising material concerning those funny pirate hats; 3. lisa T O'Ach, champion of the right to use Tramp Drink; 4. lisa Frewsy, early user of the evaporating duck; last holder of the inhumanly funded office of Royal Gadget-Smasher; 5. lisa Orbiting, DSO and Bar, belittler of the methods of Judge Dredd; first holder of the office of High Scowler; 6. lisa Lonfial, BSc, who owes everything to an ice sculpture of Hugh Scully; 7. lisa S'Ess, who's never forgotten mottled glass; 8. lisa Dindymene ("The Blue"), aroused by the monkey cartilage gear system; 9. I Am lisa Macaulay, disgusted by quicklime dental cleanser; 10. "Terrible" lisa Cangoose-Oaf, first victim of the nightmare cupboard. Typical lisa motto "Neither a woman nor a foreigner be."