Ooops

[Aaron]

>MICHAEL Buerk watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer

>for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: "They seem cold

>out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts."

>

>Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny

>Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes to

>use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself."

 

>MIKE Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: "Stephen

>Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."

>

 

>JACK Burnicle was talking about Colin Edwards' tyre choice on World

>Superbike racing: "Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet he

>wished he had a hard on now."

 

 

>Chris Tarrant discussing the first Millionaire winner Judith Keppel on

>This Morning: "She was practising fastest finger first by herself in bed last

>night."

 

>

>WINNING Post's Stewart Machin commentating on jockey Tony McCoy's

>formidable lead: "Tony has a quick look between his legs and likes what he sees."

 

>

>ROSS King discussing relays with champion runner Phil Redmond: "Well

>Phil, tell us about your amazing third leg."

>

 

>CRICKETER Neil Fairbrother hit a single during a Durham v Lancashire

>match, inspiring Bobby Simpson to observe: "With his lovely soft hands

>he just tossed it off."

>

>CLAIR Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said: "There's

>nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this."

 

>JAMES Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix, asked: "What

>does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Barrichello?"

 

>STEVE Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros felt much better today

>after a 69."

 

>THE new stand at Doncaster race course took Brough Scott's breath

>away..."My word," he said. "Look at that magnificent erection."

 

>WILLIE Carson was telling Claire Balding how jockeys prepare for a big

>race when he said: "They usually have four or five dreams a night about

>coming from different positions."

 

 

>CARENZA Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on Time Team Live

>said: "You'd eat beaver if you could get it."

 

 

>A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed

>and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob, where's that

>eight inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave

>the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!

 

 

 

>US PGA Commentator - "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is

>playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his

>balls and kisses them .... Oh my god!!!!! What have I just said?!!!!"

 

>Metro Radio - "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven

>Dicks on the field."

 

>Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - "Ah, isn't that

>nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the

>Oxford crew."

 

>Ted Walsh- Horse Racing Commentator - "This is really a lovely filly. I

>rode her mother in Gowran Park."

 

>New Zealand Rugby Commentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl

>Gibson comes inside of him."