Facelift

[Fish]

A man decides to have a face-lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000

and

feels really good about the results. On his way home, he stops at a

newsstand and buys a paper.

 

Before leaving, he says to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me

asking, but how old do you think I am?"

 

"About 35," was the reply.

 

"I'm actually 47," the man says, feeling really happy.

 

After that, he goes into McDonalds for lunch and asks the clerk the

same

question.

 

The reply is, "Oh, you look about 29".

 

"I am actually 47."

 

Later, while standing at a bus stop, he asks an old woman the same

question.

 

She replies, "I am 85 years old, and my eyesight is going. But when I

was

young, there was a sure way of telling a man's age. If I put my hand

down

your pants and play with your balls for 10 minutes, I will be able to

tell

you your exact age."

 

As there was no one around, the man thinks, What the hell and lets

her slip

her hand down his pants.

 

Ten minutes later, the old lady says, "Okay, it's done. You are 47."

 

Stunned, the man says, "That was brilliant. How did you do that?"

 

The old lady replies, "I was behind you at McDonalds."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Alex]

Dirty old bint. Bless her for coming up with such a cunning plan though.

[Lisa]