How wrong, and how divvy is this?

[Monkeywool]

Ok, so there is this lass at work, and we are like crazy about each other. However she is, well, was living with a bloke and recently found out she was having his kid.

 

So with us being so close, and so crazy about each other we have agreed to see what happens as we were due to have a meetup in the next few weeks and talk things through about being together and what happens happens. I dont want to go into a ready made family relationship with a single mother, and she doesnt know what she wants to do with the kid.

 

Her bloke found out about me this last weekend though and kicked her out. Now its all mad.

 

In retrospect I should have nipped it in the bud, but you know what you are like when you are crazy about someone right? Now I am in too deep to get out of this without seriously hurting both of us

 

Now she has had her mobile go missing, and she cant talk to me unless she is at work. She is all over the place and so am I.

 

Now does that not seem pretty screwed up? I was perfectly happy being single and now this happens

 

Anyway - is what we are doing wrong?

[Lisa]

you do what you want to do hon, not anyone else & only you can decide what you want, not much help, but hope it does a wee bit

[Shaney_R]

In a way yes it is and no it aint.

 

Yes it is because she shouldnt of been playing around in the first place, if she liked you so much then she should of knocked her other fella on the head and started fresh with you.

 

No it isnt wrong because you are obviously single and took her bait (we've all may have done it in the past, especially if you dont know their other halves) so what im trying to say is be careful, step back and take things easy until it all blows over and she decides wat she wants.

 

Good luck.

 

[LiquidEyes]

On the one hand, it's difficult to argue with your gut instincts.

 

However, and I don't mean to be overly negative, but it's quite possible she's suffering from "grass is greener" syndrome ... it doesn't seem far-fetched to think she might suddenly realise her ex wasn't so bad after all... sorry to say that, but I've "been there done that" myself!

[Shaney_R]

Your dead right there Liquid!

[tronicz]

if she`s shit on her ex whats to say she wont do the same to you,to be honest i respect him for showing her the door..i reckon you could be making a mistake by sticking with her, 1)she cheats 2)relationships at work can be well messy...there again as you have been vague in your description of events it would be hard for anyone to give you much help without knowing you ,the girl in question and her ex....be careful and good luck,hope it works out for the best whatever you decide

[Monkeywool]

Yeah I cant exactly explain myself what is going on, because my head is all over the place really. Thinng is, she hasnt exactly been unfaithful, as we have done nothing just yet. All we have done is talked about it and planned a few things to see what happens. I suppose that in itself is cheating but I dont know these things....

 

Anyway I decided last week sometime that I am gonna let her sort everything out and just be a mate for her, cos thats all she needs at the moment I am sure, no hassle or anything. It is just the whole being worried about what is happening to her I have at the moment. I like being single and am not in a rush to get her, its just sometimes I start thinking about it all and get quite depressed

[EliteChick]

QUOTE (Monkeywool @ May 1 2004, 17:40)

Yeah I cant exactly explain myself what is going on, because my head is all over the place really. Thinng is, she hasnt exactly been unfaithful, as we have done nothing just yet. All we have done is talked about it and planned a few things to see what happens. I suppose that in itself is cheating but I dont know these things.... Anyway I decided last week sometime that I am gonna let her sort everything out and just be a mate for her, cos thats all she needs at the moment I am sure, no hassle or anything. It is just the whole being worried about what is happening to her I have at the moment. I like being single and am not in a rush to get her, its just sometimes I start thinking about it all and get quite depressed

i think staying mates is the best thing for both of u , u have all the time in the world!! Hope it all works out