few jokes

[Hardhousehunnij]

Saddams son goes shopping and comes back with it in a box.

Saddam says why is the shopping in a box?

Son replies because there is no Baghdad!

 

 

The CIA have sent their best woman to kill Saddam.

Unfortunately she got her anthrax mixed up with her tampax and poisoned the wrong [censored]!

 

 

A couple are in a car when the guy puts his index finger into the woman's vagina, the girl purrs and says "put in another finger" he replies

"what do you want to do [censored] whistle?"

 

 

Little girl: mum i just found out the little boy next door has a penis like a peanut!

mum: you mean its small?

little girl: no its salty!

 

 

Spastic says to ice cream man "can i have an ice cream please?"

man asks "what flavour?"

spastic says "don't matter, I am going to [censored] drop it anyway!"

 

 

My uncle was struck off the medical register for having sex with his patients. Its a pity he was, because he was a [censored] good vet!

 

 

Mary's lamb had foot and mouth, her cow had BSE, but mary was a kinky slut and gave them HIV!

 

 

Did you hear about the mouse that took a viagra?

half an hour later he was strutting round the kitchen shouting

"where's the [censored] pussy now then?"

 

 

Two fleas on a fanny.

one is a burglar, the other is a junkie.

How do you tell them apart?

The burglar is hiding in the bush and the junkie is sniffing the crack!

 

 

The big bad wolf told red riding hood to lift her top up so he can suck her tits, "no" she replied lifting up her skirt

"eat me like the [censored] book says!"

 

 

Three grannies sitting on a park bench enjoying the sunshine.

A flasher ran over and flashed his willie at them.

Two of the grannies had a stroke.

the other couldn't reach!

 

 

[NeoN]

The CIA have sent their best woman to kill Saddam.

Unfortunately she got her anthrax mixed up with her tampax and poisoned the wrong [censored]!

 

Was she blond ?

[Hardhousehunnij]

probs

[NeoN]

Would luv to se her battering saddam with a tampax

[Hardhousehunnij]

me 2 would be a laugh

[Rick D]

Spastic says to ice cream man "can i have an ice cream please?"

man asks "what flavour?"

spastic says "don't matter, I am going to [censored] drop it anyway!"

Am I out of order because I laughed at this one??

[djiceman]

nope, you're not................ nice one angel

[Tony P]

Three grannies sitting on a park bench enjoying the sunshine.

A flasher ran over and flashed his willie at them.

Two of the grannies had a stroke.

the other couldn't reach!

 

 

 

 

very good

[MadBec]

Saddams son goes shopping and comes back with it in a box.

Saddam says why is the shopping in a box?

Son replies because there is no Baghdad!

 

 

The CIA have sent their best woman to kill Saddam.

Unfortunately she got her anthrax mixed up with her tampax and poisoned the wrong [censored]!

 

 

A couple are in a car when the guy puts his index finger into the woman's vagina, the girl purrs and says "put in another finger" he replies

"what do you want to do [censored] whistle?"

 

 

Little girl: mum i just found out the little boy next door has a penis like a peanut!

mum: you mean its small?

little girl: no its salty!

 

 

Spastic says to ice cream man "can i have an ice cream please?"

man asks "what flavour?"

spastic says "don't matter, I am going to [censored] drop it anyway!"

 

 

My uncle was struck off the medical register for having sex with his patients. Its a pity he was, because he was a [censored] good vet!

 

 

Mary's lamb had foot and mouth, her cow had BSE, but mary was a kinky slut and gave them HIV!

 

 

Did you hear about the mouse that took a viagra?

half an hour later he was strutting round the kitchen shouting

"where's the [censored] pussy now then?"

 

 

Two fleas on a fanny.

one is a burglar, the other is a junkie.

How do you tell them apart?

The burglar is hiding in the bush and the junkie is sniffing the crack!

 

 

The big bad wolf told red riding hood to lift her top up so he can suck her tits, "no" she replied lifting up her skirt

"eat me like the [censored] book says!"

 

 

Three grannies sitting on a park bench enjoying the sunshine.

A flasher ran over and flashed his willie at them.

Two of the grannies had a stroke.

the other couldn't reach!

 

 

hey that first one is similar to mine see saddam in jokes section!!!

 

grrrrrr!!!!!!!!mines better!!!

[jon_m]

jodie u never told me u were funny!!!

[Hardhousehunnij]

Im not really funny i admit they were sent to me by my msn stalker spunky monkey

[Claire DC]

rickd said:

Spastic says to ice cream man "can i have an ice cream please?"

man asks "what flavour?"

spastic says "don't matter, I am going to [censored] drop it anyway!"

Am I out of order because I laughed at this one??

 

Me too, in fact i cried laughing

 

 

Three grannies sitting on a park bench enjoying the sunshine.

A flasher ran over and flashed his willie at them.

Two of the grannies had a stroke.

the other couldn't reach!

 

[Rick D]

Glad i'm not the only sick puppy around...

 

I got funny looks from my work collegues though, but nothing unusual there...

[Claire DC]

haha yeah i sent it to a load of people on MSN including Amo, Maddox and Guy they laughed too so least we know we're not alone in our sick sense of humour!!