FAO All Arsenal fans

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Think Trainspotting

 

 

 

CHOOSE ARSENAL. CHOOSE OVERBEARING ARROGANCE. CHOOSE SYSTEMATIC DIRTY PLAY

 

 

 

AND CALLING IT "COMPETITIVENESS". CHOOSE THE MOST STAGED, CONTRIVED,

 

 

 

UP-YOUR-OWN-ARSES GOAL CELEBRATIONS EVER WITNESSED. CHOOSE HAVING THE

 

 

 

UGLIEST MAN ON EARTH AS YOUR CENTRE-BACK AND THE SECOND UGLIEST AS YOUR

 

 

 

MANAGER. CHOOSE WINNING TWO CHAMPIONSHIPS IN ELEVEN SEASONS AND ACTING

LIKE

 

 

 

YOU'VE WON SEVEN IN NINE. CHOOSE DRAWING 99% OF YOUR FAN BASE FROM THE

RANKS

 

 

 

OF THE SUBURBAN ENGLISH MIDDLE CLASSES. CHOOSE PATRICK VIEIRA WHINGING

ABOUT

 

 

 

HAVING TO PLAY TOO MUCH FOOTBALL EVEN THOUGH HE GETS SIX GAMES' REST EVERY

 

 

 

SEASON DUE TO SUSPENSIONS. CHOOSE PAYING £9 MILLION FOR FRANCIS JEFFERS.

 

 

 

CHOOSE BEING "THE BANK OF ENGLANDCLUB". CHOOSE DENNIS BERGKAMP AND HIS

 

 

 

CAREFULLY-TIMED ELBOWS INTO THE SIDE OF THE HEAD. CHOOSE DELIBERATELY

 

 

 

DISRESPECTING AND BELITTLING THE OTHER TEAM BY PLAYING KEEPY-UPPY IN THEIR

 

 

 

HALF WITH A FEW MINUTES TO GO. CHOOSE FORCING MERCHANDISE VENDORS OUT OF

 

 

 

BUSINESS BECAUSE THEY MIGHT DEPRIVE YOU OF A COUPLE OF HUNDRED QUID ON

MATCH

 

 

 

DAYS. CHOOSE FANCYING YOURSELVES AS BETTER THAN REAL MADRID, THEN HAVING

 

 

 

AUXERRE RUN RINGS AROUND YOU AT HOME. CHOOSE SOL CAMPBELL CONTINUALLY

 

 

 

TRIPPING OVER HIMSELF. CHOOSE TURNING THE SPORTS SECTION OF THE OBSERVER

 

 

 

INTO A GUNNERS FANZINE. CHOOSE GETTING AWAY WITH LIGHT OR DELAYED

 

 

 

PUNISHMENTS AT FA DISCIPLINARY HEARINGS BECAUSE YOU'VE HAD EVERY POSSIBLE

 

 

 

STRING PULLED BY DAVID DEIN. CHOOSE A PERSECUTION COMPLEX NONETHELESS AND

 

 

 

NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT IT. CHOOSE GAMESMANSHIP. CHOOSE EMBARRASSING

YOURSELVES

 

 

 

IN A RENAULT "VA-VA-VOOM" AD AND THEN DISGRACING YOURSELVES FURTHER AT THE

 

 

 

WORLD CUP FINALS. CHOOSE DAVID SEAMAN AND HIS PUBLIC MID-LIFE CRISIS.

CHOOSE

 

 

 

WATCHING AN OPPONENT MISS A LAST-MINUTE PENALTY AGAINST YOU, THEN RUNNING

 

 

 

AFTER HIM AND JEERING HIM. CHOOSE GEORGE GRAHAM GRINDING HIS WAY TO THE

 

 

 

DULLEST CHAMPIONSHIP WIN OF ALL TIME. CHOOSE STEPPING FORWARD IN A

FOUR-MAN

 

 

 

LINE WITH YOUR RIGHT HANDS ALL RAISED IN THE AIR, THEN SCREAMING ABUSE AT

 

 

 

THE LINESMAN WHEN HE HAS THE AUDACITY TO KEEP HIS FLAG DOWN. CHOOSE TO SEE

 

 

 

YOURSELVES AS ONE OF THE GIANTS OF CONTINENTAL FOOTBALL WHEN YOU'VE NEVER

 

 

 

EVEN REACHED A EUROPEAN CUP SEMI-FINAL IN YOUR ENTIRE HISTORY. CHOOSE

 

 

 

PICKING RAY PARLOUR FOR OVER A DECADE. CHOOSE HAVING THE QUIETEST STADIUM

IN

 

 

 

THE WORLD ("THE LIBRARY") AS YOUR HOME GROUND, AND THEN HAVING THE CHEEK

TO

 

 

 

SLAG MAN UTD ABOUT THEIR FANS. CHOOSE HAVING NICK HORNBY AS THE MOUTHPIECE

 

 

 

OF YOUR SUPPORTERS. CHOOSE MAKING UMPTEEN LISTS OF REASONS WHY ARSENAL ARE

 

 

 

SO GREAT, AND THEN ADMITTING YOU DIDN'T BOTHER FOLLOWING THEM FOR A FEW

 

 

 

YEARS IN THE 1980S WHEN THEY WERE GETTING SH!TE RESULTS. CHOOSE TONY ADAMS

 

 

 

COMING OUT WITH HIS USUAL DREARY "I AM A RECOVERING ADDICT" SPIEL EVERY

TIME

 

 

 

A PREMIERSHIP FOOTBALLER BLOTS HIS COPY-BOOK. CHOOSE PRETENDING THAT FIVE

OR

 

 

 

SIX YEARS OF PLAYING IN A WATCHABLE FASHION MAKES UP FOR INFLICTING OVER A

 

 

 

CENTURY OF ULTRA-DEFENSIVE DOGSH!T ON ENGLISH FOOTBALL WATCHERS. CHOOSE

IGOR

 

 

 

STEPANOVS, NELSON VIVAS, KANU, PASCAL CYGAN, DAVOR SUKER, GILLES GRIMANDI,

 

 

 

DAVID GRONDIN, REMI GARDE, KABA DIAWARA, JUNICHI INAMOTO, JEREMIE

ALIADIERE,

 

 

 

OLEG LUZHNY, LUIS BOA MORTE, RICHARD WRIGHT, STEFAN MALZ, CHRISTOPHER

WREH,

 

 

 

AND ALL THE OTHER TURKEYSTHAT NOBODY EVER MENTIONS WHEN CREAMING

THEMSELVES

 

 

 

ABOUT HOW GREAT WENGER IS IN THE TRANSFER MARKET. CHOOSE 58 RED CARDS IN

 

 

 

SEVEN YEARS. CHOOSE LYING TO THE MEDIA THAT YOU Didn't SEE A SINGLE ONE OF

 

 

 

THE INCIDENTS THAT CAUSED ALL THESE RED CARDS. CHOOSE BEING A BUNCH OF

SMUG,

 

 

 

SELF-REGARDING W*****S WHO ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY TO BEING EVEN MORE

 

 

 

UNPOPULAR THAN MAN U IN LESS THAN HALF THE TIME.

 

 

 

CHOOSE ARSENAL.

[CreamyC]

Top quality stuff.

[Dave M]

 

 

but they still aint guna lift premiership trophy

[Blink]

[sentialSteve]

I'm sure whoever wrote that aren't bitter at all......