Little Johnny !

[TidyTraxGrant]

> > > > Math Class

> > > > A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence

> > > > and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on

>Little

> >

> > > > johnny. He replies,"None, they all fly away with the first gun

>shot".

> > > > The teacher replies "The correct answer is 4, but I like your

> > > > thinking."

> > > > Then Little Johnny says "I have a question for YOU. There are three

> > > > women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking

> > > > the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling

> > > > down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top

>of

> > > > the ice cream. Which one is married?" The teacher, blushing a great

> > > > deal, replied."Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top

>and

> > > > sucked the cone" To which Little Johnny replied, "The correct answer

> > is

> > > > the one with the wedding ring on,... but I like your thinking."

> > > >

> > > > Math Class II

> > > > Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in

>arithmetic.

> > > > "Why?" asks the father.

> > > > "The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3?' I said '6'"

> > > > "But that's right!"

> > > > "Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?"

> > > > "What's the f*cking difference?" asks the father.

> > > > "That's what I said!

> > > >

> > > > English Class

> > > > Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says,

> > > > 'Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words', class. Does

> > > > anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?' Little Johnny

>waves

> >

> > > > his hand, 'Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!'

> > > > Miss Rogers: "All right, little Johnny, what is your multi-syllable

> > > > word?"

> > > > Little Johnny says, "Mas-tur-bate."

> > > > Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little Johnny, that's a

>mouthful."

> > > > Little Johnny says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob".

> > > >

> > > > Grammar Class

> > > > Little Johnny was sitting in class one day.

> > > > All of the sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled

> > > > out,"Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!" The teacher

> > > > replied, "Now, Johnny, that is NOT the proper word to use in this

> > > > situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.' Please use

> > > > the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to

> > > > go." Little Johnny thinks for a bit, then says, "You're an eight,

>but

> > > > if you had bigger tits, you'd be a ten!!!"

> > > >

> > > > Grammar Class

> > > > One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a

> > > > show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the

> > > > same sentence twice.

> > > > First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father

> > > > bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."

> > > > "Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher.

> > > > She then called on little Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful

> > > > banquet and! it turned out beautifully," he said.

> > > > "Excellent, Michael!"Then, the teacher called on little Johnny. "

> > > > Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she

>was pregnant, and he said, 'Beautiful, ......just f*cking beautiful!'"