How to shower like a woman / a man ...

[James]

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN

 

Take off clothing and place it in the sectioned laundry hamper

according to lights and darks. Walk into bathroom wearing long>

dressing gown. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any

exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror. Make a

mental note, must do more situps. Get in the shower. Use Face cloth,

arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash

your hair with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure its clean. Condition your hair

with Grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil.

Leave for 15 minutes. Wash your face with crushed Apricot kernel

Facial scrub for 14 minutes until face is red. Wash the entire rest

of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash., Rinse conditioner

off hair, making sure that it is all gone. Shave armpits and legs .

Consider shaving bikini line but decide to get it waxed instead.

Scream loudlywhen your husband flushes the toilet and you lose water

pressure. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all the wet surfaces in the

shower and spray mould with Domestos. Get out of the shower.Dry

with a towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent

second towel.

Check entire body for any signs of a zit.

Tweeze Hairs. Return to the bedroom wearing long dressing gown and

towel on head. If you see your husband along the way, cover any

exposed areas then sashay to the bedroom. Take an hour and a half to

get dressed.

 

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN

 

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed. Leave them in

a pile on the floor. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife

along the

way, shake dick at her, making the "woo woo" sound. Look at your

manly

physique in the mirror and suck in your gut. Check to see if you

have pecs (NO). Admire the size of your dick in the mirror and

scratch your ass. Get in the shower. Don't bother to look for a wash

cloth because you don't use one. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands, then let the water rinse the snot off.>

Crack up at how loud your farts sound in the shower and then realise

you shouldn't do it in a confined space. The majority of the time is

spent washing your privates and surrounding area, wash your butt,

leaving plenty of coarse hairs in the soap. Shampoo hair, do not use

conditioner. make a shampoo mohawk. Peek out of the shower and look

at yourself in the mirror again. pee in the shower. Rinse off and

get out of the shower. Fail to notice the water on the floor because

you left the curtain hanging out of the tub. Partially dry off. Look

at yourself in the mirror. Flex muscles. Admire the dick size again.

Leave the shower curtain open and the wet bath mat on the floor.

Leave the bathroom fan and light on. Return to the bedroom with the

towel around your waist. If you pass your wife - pull the towel off,

shake dick at her and make the "woo woo" sound again. Throw the wet

towel on the bed. Take two minutes to get dressed.