14 yr old secret abortion!!

[Alex]

Mums, Dads or both are to blame, who else brought their kids up?

[Louise]

i wasnt having sex till i was well over 16 because of the fear of getting pregnant (id been with my boyfriend since the age of 13), my mum and dad bought me up with morals and il be doing the same with my kids.

 

some families have no or little morals and something like this is no big deal.....but this parent had to go all out and embarrass her daughter to the world (yet keep her own identity a secret)............where is the morals there she has showed great parenting skills.....i think not

Edited May 14, 2004 by Louise

[Guest Kether]

Damn right the parents shouldn't have been informed if the child didn't want her parents to know.

 

The school have acted responsibly and taken into account the wish of the child. It's not their place to act unilaterally unless the child is at serious risk, in which case they contact the police/social services.

 

How would you feel if you confided in someone and they decided to tell your parents? I'd be livid.

 

The school probably advised her to inform her parents, what would happen if she had an abortion. Everything seems like it was in order. It's just unfortunate that she changed her mind about having the abortion when it was too late.

 

It may hurt her now but she should get over it and hopefully she'll learn from this.

[Louise]

i thought you couldnt have an abortion under the age of 16 without the parents/legal gardian consent because you need referal from your doctor and your doctor informs parents about stuff like this

 

my sis couldnt have hers unless she told my mum about it at the age of 15

[Guest]

That's what I thought :S

 

eeeeek.

[Guest Kether]

QUOTE (Louise @ May 13 2004, 17:27)

i thought you couldnt have an abortion under the age of 16 without the parents/legal gardian consent because you need referal from your doctor and your doctor informs parents about stuff like this my sis couldnt have hers unless she told my mum about it at the age of 15

I thought it was to do with the child being able to understand the implications of her actions. Kind of a grey area.

[Guest]

hmm I guess you do have to respect childrens desicions (given the situation - being this one of high privacy / important).

 

I agree with what you are saying Kether dude.

[Louise]

i think what we are all missing is that this is a CHILD

 

id be furious if my child had an abortion at that age without my consent, yes it happens but you dont expect a school to take all responcerbilty away from the parent as soon as they are in school.

 

this child took the school advisor's advice and started proceedings to abort the baby before she spoke to her mum, imagine what was going through her head and how worried she was thinking what her mum would say, the easy option was to keep it all secret........

 

but look how it turned out in the end, as soon as the truth came out and she spoke to her mum (which she should have done from day one and the advisor should have said that) she realised that she wanted to keep it and her mum would support her 100%.....but it was to late

[Guest Kether]

QUOTE (Louise @ May 13 2004, 18:02)

i think what we are all missing is that this is a CHILD id be furious if my child had an abortion at that age without my consent, yes it happens but you dont expect a school to take all responcerbilty away from the parent as soon as they are in school. this child took the school advisor's advice and started proceedings to abort the baby before she spoke to her mum, imagine what was going through her head and how worried she was thinking what her mum would say, the easy option was to keep it all secret........ but look how it turned out in the end, as soon as the truth came out and she spoke to her mum (which she should have done from day one and the advisor should have said that) she realised that she wanted to keep it and her mum would support her 100%.....but it was to late

From a parent's point of view, obviously you want to know every little thing that your children get up to so I understand your point of view Louise.

 

Personally, I think, that if the child is intellectually able enough to make the decision on her own and has the support of the school/drs/social workers etc then they should be allowed to do it without parental consent. Not everyone has the luxury of a loving family. Some people feel they can't tell their parents anything and that there is a support structure in place outside of the family unit reassures me.

 

The child in this case didn't choose to go it alone, she approached her school and asked for their confidentiality. The school acted totally properly. Only when the child changed her mind has a problem occurred. An abortion is a traumatic experience for any person of any age. To say that she's going to be any more scarred now than she may have been had she told her mother in the first place is just mere speculation.

 

What if she'd told her mother, gone through with the abortion, then after taking a couple of pills she decided she wanted to keep the baby? She'd be in the same position now. I don't honestly see what all the fuss is about and how this made the front page of a newspaper. It's just Daily Mail "look how far our country has descended into the shit" reporting which will please the right wingers and the dopey housewives.

[Phil rr]

QUOTE (Lisa @ May 13 2004, 14:14)

Her mother is furious that despite not having been consulted over the abortion she is now left to pick up the pieces.

surely if she had gone ahead with the child, it would be much more difficult to pick up the pieces.

 

[Ian Cashman]

QUOTE (Kether @ May 13 2004, 18:09)

What if she'd told her mother, gone through with the abortion, then after taking a couple of pills she decided she wanted to keep the baby? She'd be in the same position now. I don't honestly see what all the fuss is about and how this made the front page of a newspaper. It's just Daily Mail "look how far our country has descended into the shit" reporting which will please the right wingers and the dopey housewives.

eloquently put my friend

[rachel]

Kether, some of the things you say are....well amusing as they wind people up. But you are talking sense for once

[Guest Kether]

QUOTE (rachel @ May 13 2004, 21:27)

Kether, some of the things you say are....well amusing as they wind people up. But you are talking sense for once

I'm not just a pretty face.

[Guest RickD]

All I can say is it's not much of a secret...

 

and kether a pretty face... hahaha

[Trouble]

i dont think its really any ones fault things just happen, yes it could of been prevented but thats got nothing to do with it now

 

the point is its happend and the perent is doing the compleatly wrong thing by plastering her daughters picture all over the papers but not her own, its like shes ashamed of her by hiding herself away

 

and then she gose on about picking up the picies when she isnt helping by telling the whole country about what has happend, basicly keeping the story alive instead of helping her daughter through the ordeal

 

if she was my mother i wouldnt want to know her

 

(excuse the spelling ta x)