Nip & Tuck

[Aaron]

After her sixth child, Jane decided that she should have some

cosmetic surgery "down below" to restore herself to her former youthful glory,

because her bomb doors were dangling a bit too low and looked like a ripped out

fireplace.

 

Time and childbirth had taken its toll and she reckoned that, with

six children now being the limit, she'd tidy things with a nip here and a

tuck there so it looked more like a piggy bank slot rather than a badly packed

kebab.

 

Following the operation she awoke from her anaesthetic to

find three roses at the end of the bed. "Who are these from?" she asked the nurse,

"They're very nice but I'ma bit confused as to why I've received them."

 

"Well" said the nurse, "The first is from the surgeon - the

operation went so well and you were such a model patient that he wanted to say

thanks".

 

"Ahhh, that's really nice" said Jane.

 

"The second is from your husband - he's delighted the operation

was such a success that he can't wait to get you home. Apparently it'll be

the first time he's touched the sides for years and he's very excited!"

 

"Brilliant!" said Jane. "And the third?"

 

"That's from Eric, a patient in the burns unit," said the nurse.

"He just wanted to say thanks for his new ears."

 

[Lisa]