Help Me

[James]

I seem to spend more and more time looking forward to talking on here, MSN, texting and meeting you people than anything else right now, and this is wrong. I need to balance my [censored] time and play time properly and I admit I have not been. I also need to get back to other hobbies which I have not been doing enough of. My problem is I want to do everything at once and I am totally useless at prioritising the important day-to-day tasks. The thing is I actually like being sponanteous and it scares me to think I might switch back into a 'normal' person with a very scheduled life - I think this is very un-healthy personally. Some of the best times in my life have been the unplanned ones and I usually find the ones thought out with military precision dont end up living up to their expectation.

 

(ooops - Just realised this shouldnt be entitled "Help Me", but "Help Myself")

 

The problem with being like this is that I dont think I can ever meet the right partner as surely they wouldnt stand for my un-predictable actions & decisions. Can someone re-assure me that I dont need to change the way I am and there are exact matches out there for someone with a character such as mine.

 

I always said to my ex when she threatened me with "you will grow old alone" that I would be far happier having 100 close friends than one wife, now I'm not so sure.

 

I bet you in 2 days time I will reply to this message and say I'm 100% content with my life again and that its leading somewhere. Until then !

[Scream]

you're only thinkin this mate cus you're feeling down. Like we talked about at shen's you wouldn't realise the good moments in your life if you didn't realise the bad ones too.

 

But we always have a lot of fun when we meet up though don't we?? So no wonder you're spending more time on here, lol.

[Clubbing Si]

james m8 we always have such fun, i look forward to u lot more than anything else too!!!!!!

[Ameliainleeds]

yeah what scream said

but i can understand u spending so much time on here after meeting everyone on fri- its like 1 big family

cher up hun

(and thanx again 4 the lift!)

[Clubbing Si]

no probs amelia

[Bunnykins]

James there's nothing wrong with it at all, I've met sum of the nicest peeps off here i've ever met and made sum really good m8s, i know i spend more time with u lot than other things i use to do but i enjoy it more so where's the harm in it, this site u've built up is wicked and it really makes me laugh if people give me odd looks when i say i met all my friends off the net, coz well their the sad ones with no lives who don't go out not me! I've had the best nites out clubbin i've ever had since i met u lot so don't care that i've lost a few not very reliable so-called m8s thro it, as i've got a helluva lot more reliable and really sound m8s from this site!

[Ameliainleeds]

no lol- that was thanx to james for the lift!

(ive already thanked u 3 times goddamimit!

[Clubbing Si]

well thank me again damn u lol

[James]

LMAO @Si - what a gem

[Belle]

Not that I'm saying there's a need to worry but:

 

Everything should be done in moderation. Whether it's clubbing or coming on CTW, MSN or whatever. Sure, we all go and/or have gone thru times where we spend ALOT of time chatting around, but it is important to balance everything out in life. But, there is nothing wrong with enjoying this. I can't name any hobbies to be quite honest...so nothing lost by chatting to you lot!!

 

On the subject of finding the eternal flame thinggy. You were married, and I've had 2 (other) loooong term relationships. There was a time that I though I'd be with my ex's forever, but that of course wasn't the case.

 

Somewhere along the line, we all need to accept the fact that no matter what happens, the only people that are a constant in our lives is our family. I'd like to think that the man I marry will become my family, and that I can trust him to be with me forever etc etc. And I'd like to think that Craig is the one. However!!!!!! History has shown me that there's a possibility that won't be the case.

 

What you need to get over is that you DON'T need a woman in your life to make it complete....only looking within you will do that!! A good balance of friends, family, and relationships is what helps us reach the point of contentment.

 

You are obviously a sensitive man, but James, for the good of your health, stop overanalysing!!

[Flakey Dove]

Stay random mate.

Its far more exciting.Ive been fairly predictable for a year now,and its a load of old arse.

Keep on keeping on,it'll fall into place eventually.

[Sophie]

Somewhere along the line, we all need to accept the fact that no matter what happens, the only people that are a constant in our lives is our family. I'd like to think that the man I marry will become my family, and that I can trust him to be with me forever etc etc. And I'd like to think that Craig is the one. However!!!!!! History has shown me that there's a possibility that won't be the case.

 

What you need to get over is that you DON'T need a woman in your life to make it complete....only looking within you will do that!! A good balance of friends, family, and relationships is what helps us reach the point of contentment.

 

 

belle- i totally agree with you! although i do think that this depends on the person!

 

in james case he has just about no time for his family, infact i think more about his family then he does! and personally i think at the age he is, 31, he should start thinking about his future, lets face it none of us are getting any younger, and its totally up to him whether he wants a family or not, but he should at least be thinking about himself and his family more, and start looking after himself.

 

as i am james ex girlfriend, i think i know him better then all of you, i know i am only young but i act and feel 10 times older. i think of james as being part of my family and i think more about him then myself! just recently though i have changed, started uni, and alot has happened in my life which has made me think that in this life we only get one chance and we must respect it and look after ourselfs. in my eyes i dont think james is doing this.

 

i think along with belle that james totally over analyses things! he is always thinking too hard about things, when infact the only thing that he could do in life is give his family and cloeset friends the love they need, and lets face it, loving or careing for someone doesent take too much. i am not bothered about love for me, but in the future i would like to see him taking more time out for his family, were only given one family and we should all pull together, familys should alwasy come first in my eyes, above clubbing or anything else.

 

sorry if ive gone on about this, but i could write an essay on this and my thoughts on life.

 

club the world, is all about clubbing and fun! but guys NONE of us should be putting that before our familes, we all like to be cared for, and i am shure our famlies do too.

 

sophie

x

[James]

I am always being critisised for this but I feel I do actually see my family enough - some of my friends see their family like once a year - at least I'm talking on MSN near enough every day now to my dad, and email once a week to my sisters but I know this isnt the same as seeing them in person. But I would say its not always me - people always moan at me for not seeing them, family, old friends etc... but to be honest its near enough always me who makes the first contact. I'm not the only one to blame here - just because i have made my life bloody busy doesnt mean that people cant still phone me up and ask to see me. Every time I'm invited out somewhere with the family I always go - i think I've only managed to f*ck up once or twice by forgetting because i've been at some after party, but i felt bad about this and I wont be doing that again.

 

I'm going away with them next weekend which we do every year and I'm really looking forward to it as its 'proper' time together. I do find it really difficult saying 'no' to people on here and other friends when I'm invited out places though and have been guilty of putting a night out clubbing first before a sunday meal with the family. At least now I do realise its a problem and I can totally relate to what belle is saying about needing to balance my time better - I always used to so I know I can get back to it, but it does mean saying 'no' to a lot more nights out in the future, but like others have said about last Friday they are really kicking themselves & envious that they missed it and this to be is a horrible feeling. People say do what makes you happy, well I have been but now I've realised that its not just clubbing which makes me happy and I want to save up for things such as nice holidays. I definitely dont appreciate my clubbing nights like I used to and in fact lately I've enjoyed meeting the people more than I have the fact I'm in a club.

[Sophie]

another thing though, you dont just have to be in a club to meet people! i know that this is different to say on here cos thats what clubtheworld is all about, i also no that you are making a real effort to see your family, or talk to them more... but tell me james... next weekend when we go away.... will you be tired all weekend like most weekends you spend with me!??!

 

i dont mean to moan, and i am sorry if this comes accross as a moan cos that isent my intentions, but sometimes i get so worried about you, and i think thats why i will NEVER leave you even as a friend cos i know that somewhere along the line you will need me for something or need looking after, and i know for a fact that you cant look after yourself.

 

PLEASE james look after yourself, it is the most vital part of life, and if i could ever give you advice then this would be it. make a big effort to find a balance between going out and family or relationships, you will benefit from it when your older and you will be pleased you looked after youself when you were young.

 

please also be carefull when your out clubbing, i worry so much about you soemtimes, sometimes more about you then myself, sometimes when i know your out i physically cant sleep and thats why i keep calling you to make shure your ok! maybe i am just too overprotective, but coming from a friend; i care so much about you and would hate anythign to happen to you. please look after yourself.

 

sophie

x

[James]

somewhere along the line you will need me for something or need looking after

 

But it is no good being reliant on someone, I have realised that its my issue to sort out no body else's - and you should spend more time worrying about your own life and not other peoples. You cant predict/plan what I do.

 

There really is no need to worry about me at all, I try something out, I find my limits and I move on - many other people dont move on but I'm lucky in that I simply have to as I have to go to [censored] and continue other duties.

 

The people who really know me and see what i'm like when I'm out will realise that you dont actually need to worry about me and quite often its the quiet ones in the corner who you need to worry about. I think my randomness scares people sometimes - I noticed a couple of people say "whats he had" last weekend and I hadnt actually had anything at that stage - this IS part of my actual character - I really do have lots of energy and often burn myself out. My biggest problem is that I do try to analyse everything too much and I'm not relaxed enough as I feel I should be doing lots of other things at the same time. I just cant/dont want to prioritise things properly - I think you do and thats why we're in-compatible - I'm getting slightly annoyed that people on one hand tell me to 'be myself' and on the other try to map out my life for me - this really puts me off people.