Note left for the Milkman

[Evilhedfuk]

 

....... Notes Left For The Milkman.............................

 

"Dear Milkman, I've just had a baby, please leave another one."

 

Please leave an extra pint of paralysed milk."

 

Please don't leave any more milk. All they do is drink it"

 

Milkman please close the gate behind you because the birds

keep pecking the tops off the milk."

 

Milkman. please could I have a loaf but not bread today."

 

Sorry not to have paid your bill before, but my wife had a

baby and I've been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks."

 

Sorry about yesterdays note. I didn't mean one egg and a

dozen pints, but the other way round."

 

When you leave my milk knock on my bedroom window and wake

me because I want you 'to give me a hand to turn the mattress.

 

Please knock. My TV's broken down and I missed last nights

Coronation Street. If you saw it, will you tell me what happened."

 

My daughter says she wants a milkshake. Do you do it

before you deliver or do I have to shake the bottle."

 

Please send me a form for cheap milk, for I have a baby

two months old and did not know about it until a neighbour told me."

 

Milk is needed for the baby. Father is unable to supply it."

 

From now on please leave two pints every other day and one

pint on the days in between, except Wednesdays and Saturdays

when I don't want any milk."

 

My back door is open. Please put milk in 'fridge, get

money out of cup in drawer and leave change on kitchen

table in pence, because we want to play bingo tonight."

 

Please leave no milk today. When I say today, I mean

tomorrow, for I wrote this note yesterday."

 

When you leave the milk please put the coal on the boiler,

let dog out and put newspaper inside the screen door.

PS. Don't leave any milk.

 

No milk. Please do not leave milk at No. 14 either as he

is dead until further notice."