Self-Harm

[Guest Kether]

http://www.psyke.org/

 

I honestly don't understand what possesses people to do this.

 

 

More pics

[LTM]

When I used to get into fights as a little nipper I used to bite the loose skin on the top part of my index finger in a act of rage. The pain made me fight that lil bit better.

[dissolved girl]

In terms of not understanding it, I get that, as injuring the self seems like such an illogical kick in the balls to the assumed human instinct of self-preservation. Dunno if you know or not I used to do it Kether... it's really difficult to explain why you do it, apart from saying trite things like 'it helps me cope' and 'helps me feel better and more in control' which probably don't help clarify it any further. Hmmph.

[Daredevil Tony]

I just hope one day that people like this find a way thought it,

Weather that is by seeking professional help or sharing experiences with fellow people with the same problems and getting through it together.

[Phil rr]

it's probably wrong of me. but as soon as i saw this, for this topic, i got a slight grin on my face.

 

i feel a little bit let down.

[Guest Kether]

QUOTE (dissolved girl @ May 17 2004, 19:01)

In terms of not understanding it, I get that, as injuring the self seems like such an illogical kick in the balls to the assumed human instinct of self-preservation. Dunno if you know or not I used to do it Kether... it's really difficult to explain why you do it, apart from saying trite things like 'it helps me cope' and 'helps me feel better and more in control' which probably don't help clarify it any further. Hmmph.

My ex gf used to do it, I didn't understand it when she explained it either. I just can't understand the type of self-loating required to do it.

 

I used to punch myself in the face so she'd get an idea of how it made me feel when she hurt herself. It didn't hurt me but she'd flip out, dunno if it helped her.

[Guest Kether]

I dunno how true this is but from my experience, women tend to self-harm a lot more than guys.

 

Why is this?

[dissolved girl]

QUOTE (Kether @ May 17 2004, 19:53)

I dunno how true this is but from my experience, women tend to self-harm a lot more than guys. Why is this?

It's sort of true that women are more likely to direct emotions like depression and anger inwards, which then manifests in self-harm for some of them. Men do things like get pissed and have a fight, and vent their frustrations that way.

[dissolved girl]

"...a kind of self love called blood play"

 

Pfft, it's shit to romanticize the whole thing like that

[tronicz]

My Reasons

 

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house

not a creature was stirring; not even a mouse….

Parents in bed, they’re snoring away,

Brother in pub and sister in room.

Silently laying with nowhere to play

I should be excited and not full of gloom

Blade in my hand – I escape it all now,

Just one little cut and it all goes away.

Hearing my heartbeat I draw a deep breath

As my blood trickles down the black melts to grey.

So calm and so peaceful, I’m feeling relaxed

Perhaps I’m a freak who’s insane?

But either way, for now I don’t care-

Strawberry gashes release all my pain.

I know this is wrong, and it’s only short-term

But I feel so much better already.

Just a few hours ago I was shaking like mad

And now I can hold my hand steady.

This euphoria’s good – I’m escaping this world

I wonder how long it will last.

With each cut I make and with each drop of blood

I escape all the pain of the past.

Now I get scared – don’t think I can stop

My metal is just so compelling.

I feel safe when I hold it – nothing can get me

My eyes fill as I watch my skin swelling.

I must make more cuts, let out more blood

Let all the bad in me, flow away.

Content with my work, and even more tired

I stop, as my head starts to sway.

The "process" is finished; I clean up, get dressed.

My arms sting and no-one else sees.

What I do on the outside’s what I feel on the inside

Though I doubt anyone else would believe.

I stare at my wrist – still not healed from before

Should I just end all of it now?

No, I won’t, I can’t, it’s wrong and I know it

I just can’t see another way out.

It’s not fair to feel like this – not on me, not on Greg

Nor on anyone else I’ve let in.

But I really can’t help it – it just sort of happens

And I conceal it all with my grin.

Would it be better for everyone if I were not here?

I’d be missed but I’m sure they’d move on.

(This is just random thinking, I couldn’t just die

but why me? What have I done so wrong?)

As deeply as I love him, that’s how I hate me;

So passionately, madly, so sure.

He’s such a good person, deserves better than me

Someone innocent, perfect, and pure.

Why am I like this? Messed up in the head

Why’s it all come flooding back?

It must be my fault (so I’ll hate myself more)

How long left before I’m gonna crack?

This big hole appears – dark, cold, and empty

It just comes from nowhere at all.

I’m surrounded by people yet I still feel so lonely

I’d shout-but who’d hear me call?

It completely engulfs me – suffocates, strangles

Sometimes so bad I just want to die.

If I could do something else, then I would and not cut;

Maybe I really should cry.

Still, crying’s not easy – it used to be though

Now it just makes me all scared.

(it lets down my guards and me makes me more vulnerable;

especially if I’m not prepared).

But cutting is different – it causes me pain.

Pain which I feel I deserve.

For letting it happen, for being controlled

By an evil 15 year old perve.

And if I feel numb, if I can’t feel a thing

If I’ve taken a total nose-dive,

Then I think of a lyric that’s SO real to me…

"…yeah you bleed just to know you’re alive".

So it seems at the moment its my way of coping

And until all my anger is gone.

‘til I leave all my pain; all my guilt; all my past

My Crimson Tears will go on.

 

"elle" 24/12/03

 

came across this on the madnotbad link on the psyke.org site..thought the madnotbad site was quite useful in helping to understand why people inflict these injuries on themselves.

[Jessica Rabbit]

QUOTE (Kether @ May 17 2004, 19:53)

I dunno how true this is but from my experience, women tend to self-harm a lot more than guys. Why is this?

Men are brought up to take their aggression out outwardly, through violence to others, and women are taught to take it out inwardly, as it's not as socially acceptable for women to behave violently (it still is, to a certain extent, Ok for men)

 

And I think that generally, women have lower self-esteem than men. I know this is a generalisation but how many men moan about how fat and ugly they are all the time? I think this is partly due to the media, there is too much pressure on women to look a certain way, and perfectly normal girls get upset because they feel they can't meet those standards.

[Guest]

hormones and the sort are released when you self harm. thats why you get the feeling of control etc.

 

effectively it is like taking drugs / getting pissed, only the chemicals are already in your body