CTW Members jon_m Posted May 14, 2003 CTW Members Share Posted May 14, 2003 1. On a blanket from Taiwan - >NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO. > >2. On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists - >REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU. > >3. On a Taiwanese shampoo - >USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE. > >4. On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink - >AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT. > >5. On a New Zealand insect spray - >THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS. > >6. In a US guide to setting up a new computer - >TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO >ROOM TEMPERATURE >BEFORE OPENING. >(Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.) > >7. On a Japanese product used to relieve painful hemorrhoids - >LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED >PORTION LIKE >A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR >APPROXIMATELY 5 >MINUTES, KEEP QUIET. > >8. In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles - >OPEN OTHER END. > >9. On a packet of Sunmaid raisins - >WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST CEREAL? > >10. On a Sears hairdryer - >DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING. > >11. On a bag of Fritos - >YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE. >(The shoplifter special!) > >12. On a bar of Dial soap - >DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP. >(And that would be how?) > >13. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box) - >DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN. >(Too late! You lose!) > >14. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding - >PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING. >(Are you sure? Let's experiment.) > >15. On a Korean kitchen knife - >WARNING: KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN. >(Dammit! Who are they to tell me what to do with my kids?) > >16. On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights - >FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY. >(As opposed to use in outer space?) > >17. On a Japanese food processor - >NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE. >(Now I'm curious.) > >18. On Sainsbury's peanuts - >WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS. >(Really? Peanuts contain nuts?) > >19. On an American Airlines packet of nuts >INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS. >(I'm glad they cleared that up.) > >20. On a Swedish chainsaw - >DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS. >(What kind of consumer phone-call led to this warning?) > >21. On a child's superman costume - WEARING OF THIS GARMENT >DOES NOT >ENABLE YOU TO FLY. >(That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!) > >22. On some frozen dinners: >SERVING SUGGESTION: DEFROST. > >23. On a hotel provided shower cap in a box: >FITS ONE HEAD. > >24. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: >DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY. > >25. On Boot's "Children's" cough medicine: >DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY. > >26. On Nightly sleep aid: >WARNING: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CTW Members Snez Posted May 14, 2003 CTW Members Share Posted May 14, 2003 pmsl, thats the funniest thing i've seen all day Quote One Day I woke Up, And I Realised That My Mind Wasn't Mine Anymore! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CTW Members djiceman Posted May 14, 2003 CTW Members Share Posted May 14, 2003 * falls off chair... * Quote always there for the beer, but not wanting to pay!! Mobile number: 07990 - 936181 (bannanas 'r' us) e-mail: hunter@merseymail.com or: Mulder_1971@hotmail.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CTW Members jon_m Posted May 14, 2003 Author CTW Members Share Posted May 14, 2003 Snez said: pmsl, thats the funniest thing i've seen all day i aim to please!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CTW Members Mr Happy Posted May 14, 2003 CTW Members Share Posted May 14, 2003 omg my stomache hurts from laffing Quote Mr Happy's fishy fish MangaFish munch munch MSN & e-mail - mangafish@mangafish.net AOL - MangaMorgan Online mixes - http://www.mangafish.net/mixes/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CTW Moderators Maria Posted May 14, 2003 CTW Moderators Share Posted May 14, 2003 hahah quality mate. Quote ClubTheWorld.com's OFFICIAL Events Reviewer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CTW Members Mr Happy Posted May 14, 2003 CTW Members Share Posted May 14, 2003 jon_m said: >20. On a Swedish chainsaw - >DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS. >(What kind of consumer phone-call led to this warning?) this kinda -> http://www.everything2.com/index.pl?lastnode_id=47420&node_id=691158 Quote Mr Happy's fishy fish MangaFish munch munch MSN & e-mail - mangafish@mangafish.net AOL - MangaMorgan Online mixes - http://www.mangafish.net/mixes/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CTW DJs LiamStyles Posted May 15, 2003 CTW DJs Share Posted May 15, 2003 OOOOOOPPPPS.........its 02:47am as i write this - ive just laughed so much i woke my girlfriend up! Shes not amused, maybe i should get her to read it, might cheer her up. Quality Quote LiamStyles Bet you look good on the dancefloor *LiamStyles - mixes on rotation* Current mix "No Concept Of Time" CLICK HERE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CTW Members Claire DC Posted May 15, 2003 CTW Members Share Posted May 15, 2003 Quote You Can Never Have Too Much Of A Good Thing It'd Be Rude Not 2!! *I Need A Tissue* MSN: Claire___DC @hotmail.com Email: clairedc @ dsl .pipex .com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CTW Members Mr Happy Posted May 15, 2003 CTW Members Share Posted May 15, 2003 LiamStyles said: OOOOOOPPPPS.........its 02:47am as i write this - ive just laughed so much i woke my girlfriend up! Shes not amused, maybe i should get her to read it, might cheer her up. Quality Quote Mr Happy's fishy fish MangaFish munch munch MSN & e-mail - mangafish@mangafish.net AOL - MangaMorgan Online mixes - http://www.mangafish.net/mixes/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CTW Members sentialSteve Posted May 25, 2003 CTW Members Share Posted May 25, 2003 PMSL !! Funniest thing iv read in ages Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CTW Members baby-rabit Posted May 26, 2003 CTW Members Share Posted May 26, 2003 dat was well funni!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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