I've never met a nice South African

[Guest Kether]

I've travelled this whole world of ours from Barnsley to Peru,

I've had sunstroke in the Arctic and a swim in Timbuktu,

I've seen unicorns in Burma and a Yeti in Nepal,

And I've danced with ten-foot pygmies in a Montezuma hall,

I've met the King of China,

And the working Yorkshire miner,

But I've never met a nice South African.

 

No, he's never met a nice South African,

And that's not bloody surprising, man,

'Cos we're a bunch of arrogant bastards,

Who hate black people.

 

I once got served in Woolies after less than four weeks' wait,

I had lunch with Rowan Atkinson when he paid and wasn't late,

I know a public swimming bath where they don't piss in the pool,

I know a guy who got a job straight after leaving school,

I've met a normal merman,

And a fairly modest German,

But I've never met a nice South African.

 

No, he's never met a nice South African,

And that's not bloody surprising, man,

'Cos we're a bunch of talentless murderers,

Who smell like baboons.

 

I've had a close encounter of the twenty-second kind,

That's when an alien spaceship disappears up your behind,

I've got Directory Enquiries after less than forty rings,

I've even heard a decent song by Paul McCartney's Wings,

I've seen a flying pig

In a quite convincing wig,

But I've never met a nice South African.

 

No, he's never met a nice South African,

And that's not bloody surprising, man,

'Cos we're a bunch of ignorant loudmouths,

With no sense of humour (hah-hah-hah).

 

I've met the Loch Ness Monster and he looks like Fred Astaire,

At the BBC in London he's the chief commissionaire,

I know a place in Glasgow which is bright with daffodillies,

I met a man in Katmandu who claimed to have two willies,

I've had a nice Pot Noodle,

But I've never had a poodle,

And I've never met a nice South African.

 

No, he's never met a nice South African,

And that's not bloody surprising, man,

Because we've never met one either,

Except for Bruiten Bruiten-Bach,

And he's emigrated to Paris.

 

Yes, he's quite a nice South African,

And he's hardly ever killed anyone,

And he's not smelly at all,

That's why they put him in prison.

 

[power_slough]

Hold a chicken in the air.....

[squeakage]

I had that on vinyl once

haha

[Guest Kether]

I used to have it too, no idea where it is now.

 

I'd love to play it in a set.

[Lisa]

bet that would go down a treat in London, if you played it

[Guest Kether]

QUOTE (Lisa @ Jun 7 2004, 11:42)

bet that would go down a treat in London, if you played it

There would be rioting antipodeans all over the shop and I could sit bag smug in the knowledge that nothing's changed in 15 years.

[Alex]

I've met two nice South Africans, twins actually. Very nice S.Africans, couldn't do enough for me.

[snowqueen]

and some of my family are white south africans, and in fact australians too....oh how nice it would be to go and visit them