help with depression

[flymo]

hi, i'm fairly new to tthis board and have been advised that you are a good bunch to talk to for advice.

 

someone really close to me is suffering from depression and i'm going mad through not being able to help her.

 

eveything i do or say ends up in an arguement and she's just pushing me away.

 

take for example today, she had to go to a funeral, i told her i'd call her.... but i thought it's be best to give her a few hours after before i did to sort her head a bit, i didn't want to close in on her...... i bumped into her in town and she went ballistic saying i was selfish and that i didn't care. i just cant win.

 

i'm really helping someone here can give me some good advice cause im in serious danger of losing my mind.

[Lisa]

Hmmm, tricky one!!

 

Your best bet, IMO, is to let what ever she says, go over your head, hard I know, but you gotta remember, she is like this, because she has depression.

 

Hmm, is she under a doctor at the mo??

[flymo]

yeah, she's been to a doctor, had anti depressants and stopped taking em, if i mention that she should really think about getting some more she proper goes off on one at me.

 

dont get me wrong, im there if she needs to vent her frustrations out on someone, but its fucking me up thinking that im helpless to help her

[Lisa]

well, she really try to stick to taking her medication, if she is really set on taking them, maybe you could suggest, she visits the doc again, maybe, some kind of counciling, instead??

[dissolved girl]

BE PATIANT, just let her know you will be there for her no matter what

 

Depressed people need someone to fall back on who will be kind to them without prejudice. Be persistent, but if she pushes you away, then just let her know that she can depend on you to help her, no matter what sort of awful state she may be in.

 

It's frustrating and difficult trying to help a person with depression, but just remember they are a human being with an illness and their feelings shouldn't be invalidated just because they piss you off

[Louise]

im the wrong person to ask on this subject (as many of CTW will tell you) even though i have suffered with & have been on the recieving end of depression

 

but i will say this.......just be honest, you will end up resenting her for her frustrations & it can break a frienship, it doesnt matter how patient you are cus lets face it, we can only take so much before we burst

 

 

[Guest]

QUOTE (dissolved girl @ Jun 17 2004, 02:50)

BE PATIANT, just let her know you will be there for her no matter what Depressed people need someone to fall back on who will be kind to them without prejudice. Be persistent, but if she pushes you away, then just let her know that she can depend on you to help her, no matter what sort of awful state she may be in. It's frustrating and difficult trying to help a person with depression, but just remember they are a human being with an illness and their feelings shouldn't be invalidated just because they piss you off

^Yeah That^

[Guest Kether]

There is nothing you can do, unfortunately, apart from be patient.

 

If you try and reassure your friend about anything and give them confidence they won't believe you and take you for a liar. If you try and give them advice, they'll take it the wrong way.

 

Be there when you're needed, let the person know that they can always to turn to you when they need to.

 

The problem is that a lot of depressed people see their problems as not worth of attention so that it upsets them even more when people take the time out to listen. If your friend is on anti-depressants and they're not working, have you suggested that she see the doctors to change the dosage? Also suggest councelling.

[flymo]

cheers guys, some helpfull info

[dissolved girl]

QUOTE (Louise @ Jun 17 2004, 07:57)

im the wrong person to ask on this subject (as many of CTW will tell you) even though i have suffered with & have been on the recieving end of depression but i will say this.......just be honest, you will end up resenting her for her frustrations & it can break a frienship, it doesnt matter how patient you are cus lets face it, we can only take so much before we burst

If it's a proper friendship though you shouldn't just give up on your mate cos her illness annoys you

 

That is fairweather friendship, which isn't much of a friendship at all