serious issues Honesty

[James]

Alasdair,

 

I think I do actually totally agree with you about this second-guessing attitude and I too think its wrong most of the time but I think there can be acceptions sometimes. I think perhaps i've been 'conditioned' to think this way and I want to try and only ever be honest about sensitive issues with people - whether it be friends or family - but wanting to do/say things and actually doing it is a different matter. I hold my hands up that ive purposefully not told my parents things that they really didnt need to know / worry about (and vice versa)

[alasdairm]

James said:

...ive purposefully not told my parents things that they really didnt need to know / worry about

 

me too. i can't make my mind up about this. i'm having trouble seeing it in anything but black and white and i know from experience, that's a bad sign.

 

with the benefit of hindsight, put yourself in their shoes for a minute. somebody withholds something from you because they think you don't need to worry about it.

 

turns out they don't really know your real opinion on the matter and the information would have been important to you somehow. basically, you're telling somebody you know what's right for them better than they do.

 

i appreciate i'm stating the idea crudely but it's heavy-handed to make the point clearly.

 

as far as i can tell, there's only one solution to the problem - total honesty and respect for people's ability to know themselves best.

 

that said, it's kind of like insurance fraud. everybody else is doing it so why shouldn't i...

 

alasdair

[DirtyBaseLine]

Honesty means telling the truth!!!

A lot of time people cant handle the truth so im my opinion, its best to be honest most of the time but not all of the time. The whole world is made of bullshit, just think.....job interviews...meeting someone for the first time, small white lies etc.

 

Honesty is how well u know someone.

 

Does this make any sense???

[Lisa]

dbl said:

Honesty means telling the truth!!!

A lot of time people cant handle the truth so im my opinion, its best to be honest most of the time but not all of the time. The whole world is made of bullshit, just think.....job interviews...meeting someone for the first time, small white lies etc.

 

Honesty is how well u know someone.

 

Does this make any sense???

 

perfect sense!! I agree with you, there are times when the truth can not be handled!!

[Maria]

dbl said:

Honesty means telling the truth!!!

A lot of time people cant handle the truth so im my opinion, its best to be honest most of the time but not all of the time. The whole world is made of bullshit, just think.....job interviews...meeting someone for the first time, small white lies etc.

 

Honesty is how well u know someone.

 

Does this make any sense???

 

Agreed. BUT being honest can get you into trouble aswell. So sometimes, the honest person can't win by being honest OR not.

 

Some ppl do not like to face the truth, and some ppl would rather honesty be left under a blanket and live a lie - if that makes any sence?

 

I know what Im talking about though.

[CreamyC]

I couldn't give a [censored], if someone is lying - regardless of they are doing it to be nice - then I feel that is wrong. Lying comes with being fake.

[Maria]

CreamyC said:

Lying comes with being fake.

 

I couldnt agree with you more.

 

 

[CreamyC]

For example:

 

"hiya hon, you okay, we're best mates aren't we"

 

And then slagging that person off.

[James]

another 'classic' which i cant stand is people using the "what he/she/they dont know wont hurt him/her/them"

 

I guess its true but "wo betide" (?) you if they find out !

 

I think its a bollox attitude to have

[CreamyC]

As soon as I find out somethng I tell. I know of little others that do this.

[James]

in other words kev you are a "[censored] stirrer" lol

 

agreed, you do always just get on with it, which is good

[LiquidEyes]

dbl said:

The whole world is made of bullshit, just think.....job interviews

Speak for yourself; I've never told a lie in a job interview. I don't need to. I hate lying - I feel like a twat when I try it on with somebody. I get a horrible gut feeling, like I intuitively assume I'm going to be sussed.

 

People who lie habitually must have somehow bypassed that natural guilty feeling that normal people experience when they tell porkies. Maybe it comes with practice or something...?

 

I believe that, while it is possible to get somewhere in life by lying (e.g. by exaggerating your experience in an interview) there is an upper limit to how far you will get.

 

On the other hand, honest people may not initially get so far by being straight up, but I believe that in the long run, they will get further in life by being genuinely good at whatever they do, and by gaining the respect that honest people command.

 

At least, that's what I try to tell myself.

[alasdairm]

James said:

I can see that sometimes its beneficial to deliberately not disclose something - e.g., someome is in a bit of trouble but you are 90% certain the issue is going to be resolved before the person needs to know, so why tell them / potentially upset them.

 

james

 

you also said:

 

"another 'classic' which i cant stand is people using the 'what he/she/they dont know wont hurt him/her/them'"

 

these don't add up if you think about it?

 

alasdair

[LiquidEyes]

alasdairm said:

james

 

you also said:

 

"another 'classic' which i cant stand is people using the 'what he/she/they dont know wont hurt him/her/them'"

 

these don't add up if you think about it?

True, but some people use this as a blatant excuse for cheating on their partner, for example. I presume this is what James meant when he said he "can't stand" these kind of people. Whereas perhaps a well-intentioned "protective" lie can be a positive thing.

[Guest]

liquideyes said:

dbl said:

The whole world is made of bullshit, just think.....job interviews

Speak for yourself; I've never told a lie in a job interview. I don't need to. I hate lying - I feel like a twat when I try it on with somebody. I get a horrible gut feeling, like I intuitively assume I'm going to be sussed.

 

People who lie habitually must have somehow bypassed that natural guilty feeling that normal people experience when they tell porkies. Maybe it comes with practice or something...?

 

I believe that, while it is possible to get somewhere in life by lying (e.g. by exaggerating your experience in an interview) there is an upper limit to how far you will get.

 

On the other hand, honest people may not initially get so far by being straight up, but I believe that in the long run, they will get further in life by being genuinely good at whatever they do, and by gaining the respect that honest people command.

 

At least, that's what I try to tell myself.

 

AGREED!