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Scary Claire's Offensive Joke Corner. Wk1


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WARNING!!

Some of these jokes may be offensive! I have try not to be offensive as this is only Week 1. I have a mix of gay / varied and some slight racist. I am a lover of all God creatures and man! wink.gifscratchchin.gif

 

Two gay lovers were having a quarrel.

'Go to Hell' screamed one

'Drop dead' screamed the other

'Kiss my ass!'

'Oh, you do wanna make up?'.

 

How do you quieten a gay baby?

Shove a dummy up it's ass.

 

Four gay men are sitting in a jacuzzi when suddenly they notice a glob of sperm float to the surface. The oldest of the group turns and shrieks "All right, which one of you bitches farted?".

 

Why do babies have soft spots on their heads?

So incase there's a fire at the hospital, the nurses can carry them out five to a hand.

 

What do you call a female sex-change operation?

addadicktomy.

 

Did you hear what happened to the fly on the toilet seat?

He got pissed off.

 

Why are the tarship Enterprise and toilet paper similar?

They circle Uranus looking for Klingons.

 

What do a coffin and a condom have in common?

They're both filled with stiffs - only one's coming, the other's going!

 

Did you hear about the guy who lost his whole left side in an accident?

He's all right!

 

What do you call a limbless man in a pool?

Bob.

 

Why do women have two holes so close together?

In case you miss.

 

What's black, green and hairy and sits on a wall?

Humpty Cunt.

 

What do you call an abortion in Czechoslovakia?

A cancelled Czech.

 

Did you hear about Ku Klux Knievel?

He tried to jump over 8 black men with a steam roller.

 

What's a 68?

You do me, and I owe you one.

 

What's the difference between men and jelly beans?

Jelly beans come in different colours.

 

what's the difference between kinky and perverted?

Kinky is when you tickle your lover's ass with a feather.

Perverted is where you use the whole chicken!

 

Is sex better than pot?

Depends on the pusher.

 

What do you call a truck full of vibrators?

Toys 4 twats.

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