CTW Photographers Crill Posted July 18, 2003 CTW Photographers Share Posted July 18, 2003 (edited) An Essex girl and an Irish guy are in a bar when the Essex girl notices something strange about the wellies that the Irish guy's wearing. She says to him: "Scuse me mate, I ain't bein fannny or naffink, But why doz one of your wellies ave an L on it, and the uva one's got an R on it?" So, the Irish guy smiles, puts down his pint of Guinness and replies: "Well, oim a little bit tick you see. The one with the R is for me roight foot and the one with the L is for me left foot." "Cor, blimey!" exclaims the Essex girl, "So THAT'S why me knickers 'ave got C&A on them." ---------------------------------------------------------- An Essex girl goes to the council to register for child benefit. "How many children?" asks the council worker "10" replies the Essex girl "10???" says the council worker.. "What are their names?" "Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and Wayne" "Doesn't that get confusing?" "Naah..." says the Essex girl "its great because if they are out playing in the street I just have to shout WAAYNE, YER DINNER'S READY OR WAAYNE GO TO BED NOW and they all do it..." "What if you want to speak to one individually?" says the perturbed council worker. "That's easy," says the Essex girl... "I just use their surnames" ---------------------------------------------------------- An Essex girl is crossing the road, when she gets hit by an XR3i. As she is lying on the ground, the driver, Dave, rushes out of the car to see if she is alright. "I'm so sorry luv! I just didn't see ya. Are ya OK?" he blurts out. "Everyfink is justa blur, I can't see a fing" she says, tearfully. Concerned, the man leans over the woman to test her eyesight. He asks, "How many fingers have I got up?" "Ah f**kin 'ell NO!" she screams. "Don't tell me I'm paralyzed from the waist down an all!!!" ---------------------------------------------------------- A train hits a busload of Essex Schoolgirls and they all perish. They are all in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates past St.Peter. St Peter asks the first girl (from Southend), "Karen, have you ever had any contact with a mans thing?" She giggles and shyly replies, "Well I once touched the head of one with the tip of my finger" St. Peter says, "OK, dip the tip of your finger in The Holy Water and pass through the gate." St. Peter asks the next girl (from Chelmsford) the same question, "Joanne have you ever had any contact with a mans thing?" The girl is a little reluctant but replies "Well once I fondled and stroked one." St. Peter says "OK, dip your whole hand in The Holy Water and pass through the gate." All of a sudden there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls, and the girl from Romford is pushing her way to the front of the line. When she reaches the front of the line St. Peter says "Tracy! What seems to be the rush?" The girl replies.."If I'm going to have to gargle that Holy water...I want to do it before Lorraine sticks her arse in it!!" Edited July 18, 2003 by Crill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CTW Moderators Maria Posted July 18, 2003 CTW Moderators Share Posted July 18, 2003 Quote ClubTheWorld.com's OFFICIAL Events Reviewer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 18, 2003 Share Posted July 18, 2003 Old, but classics!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CTW Members Scream Posted July 18, 2003 CTW Members Share Posted July 18, 2003 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CTW Members Trouble Posted July 22, 2003 CTW Members Share Posted July 22, 2003 hehe tickled me Quote Iv Come Here Today To Chew Bubblegum And Kick Ass And Im All Outta Bubblegum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CTW Members Wonky Posted July 22, 2003 CTW Members Share Posted July 22, 2003 also very true Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CTW Members Trouble Posted July 22, 2003 CTW Members Share Posted July 22, 2003 also very true well i cant commet iv neva meet a an essex lass Quote Iv Come Here Today To Chew Bubblegum And Kick Ass And Im All Outta Bubblegum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.