i will survive

[Trudes]

just received this in an email, would like to apologise to anyone thats seen it loads before.

 

 

Sing along to "I will Survive"

 

MALE VERSION

 

First I was afraid I was petrified

 

At the ugly sl*pper that was lying by my side

 

I would've drunk a little less, I would've tried to keep my head.

 

If I'd known for just one second you'd assault me in your bed

 

I tried to go, walk out the door

 

But you've been sitting on my legs and I can't feel them anymore

 

And now you're sitting on my face, my nose has vanished - not a trace,

 

I only hope that your big knickers aren't made of liquorice lace

 

I want to go, I've got to leave

 

Before your fat and n*ked body makes me want to heave

 

Only hope that no one saw me walking home with such a sl*t.

 

God the things that you get up to when you're half cut.

 

Please let me go, I'm getting scared

 

There's nothing I can do to stop those ugly bre*sts from being bared.

 

I think that I must have been mad,

 

God what made me want to court her?

 

With t*ts that look like Tesco bags I've just filled up with water

 

It's time to go, run out the door

 

She's started hinting she wants s*x on her dirty lino floor

 

I don't think there's anything worse than the al-co-hol-ics curse.

 

I WILL SURVIVE !

 

 

To which the girls reply.........

 

FEMALE VERSION

 

At first I was afraid, I was petrified.

 

By the ugly w***er that was lying by my side.

 

I would've drunk a little less, I would've tried to keep my head,

 

If I'd know for just one second I'd be in your crusty bed...

 

I tried to go, walk out the door.

 

But I laughed so hard at your small kn*b that I've fallen on the floor.

 

Your butts a pimply mess, it's just a broken-out disgrace,

 

But I'd rather look at that, than at your F###ing ugly face...!

 

I want to go, I've got to leave.

 

Your talk of chicks and football really makes me want to heave.

 

I only know I've got to stop my drinking spirits and the beer

 

Coz when I looked at you last night, you looked just like Richard Gere !

 

Please let me go, I feel quite sick,

 

We had the worst s*x in the world and you're an ugly p**ck

 

I should have shagged your gorgeous mate, at least he's got a lovely flat

 

But no I go and trust the booze and now I'm stuck with you, you tw*t.

 

It's time to go, run out the door.

 

You look so ugly it should really be against the law.

 

I'm going to give up all the booze, I'm going to have no stupid fun

 

Coz waking up beside your mug, just makes me want to be a nun !

 

I WILL SURVIVE !