tanslations gone wrong

[Trudes]

In a cocktail lounge in Norway: LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

 

At a Budapest zoo: PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY

SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.

 

In a doctor's office in Rome: SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

 

In a hotel in Acapulco: THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE

WATER SERVED HERE

From an instruction booklet for the air conditioner in a Japanese

hotel: COOLES AND HEATES. IF YOU WANT CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR

ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.

 

From an instruction booklet provided by a car rental agency in Tokyo: WHEN PASSENGER OF FOOT HEAVE IN SIGHT, TOOTLE THE HORN. TRUMPET HIM MELODIOUSLY AT FIRST, BUT IF HE STILL OBSTACLES YOUR PASSAGE THEN TOOTLE HIM WITH VIGOUR.

 

Sign in a public men's rest room in Japan: TO STOP LEAK TURN COCK TO THE RIGHT

 

In a Nairobi restaurant: CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

 

On the Athi River Highway in Kenya: TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

 

On a poster at Kencom: ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN >HELP.

 

On an electric hand dryer in a restroom in Korea: DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS.

 

In a maternity ward in Kenya: NO CHILDREN ALLOWED.

 

In a cemetery: PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.

 

Sign in Japanese public bath: FOREIGN GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO PULL COCK IN TUB.

 

In the Rules Regulations of a hotel in Tokyo: GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.

 

In a Tokyo bar: SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.

 

In a temple in Bangkok: IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN EVEN A FOREIGNER IF DRESSED AS A MAN.

 

In a hotel elevator in Paris: PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VALUES AT THE FRONT DESK.

 

In a hotel in Yugoslavia: THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

 

In a hotel in Japan: YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

 

In the Black Forest in Germany: IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.

 

An advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE

LATEST METHODISTS.

 

In a laundry in Rome: LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.

 

An advertisement for a donkey ride in Thailand: WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?

 

In an airline ticket office in Copenhagen: WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND

THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

On the door of a Moscow hotel room: IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT TO THE USSR, YOU ARE WELCOME TO IT