One for you Kev!!!!

[Tony P]

Earthquake rocks Essex

 

A major earthquake measuring 5.8 on the Richter scale hit in the early hours

of Wednesday 10th September 2003.

 

Epicentre: Rainham, Essex.

 

Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly muttering "ma haaas, ma haaas".

The earthquake decimated the area causing approximately £30.00 worth of

damage. Several priceless collections of mementos from the Balearics and

Spanish Costa's were damaged beyond repair.

 

Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were

woken well before their welfare cheque arrived.

 

Essex FM News (State Radio Station) reported that hundreds of residents were

confused and bewildered, still trying to come to terms with the fact that

something interesting had happened in Rainham.

 

One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said "It was

such a shock, my little Chardonnay Mercedes came running into my bedroom

crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Megan-Storm slept through it all.

 

I was still shaking when I was watching Kilroy the next morning." Apparently

though, looting, muggings and car crime did carry on as normal.

 

The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Sunny

Delight to the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers are still

searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal

belongings, which include benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at

Argos and Bone China from Poundland.

 

HOW CAN YOU HELP:

 

This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing, parcels for those

unfortunate to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most sought after,

items most needed include: Fila or Burberry baseball caps Kappa tracksuit

tops (his and hers) Shell suits (female) White sport socks, Rockport boots

and any other items usually sold in Primark. Food parcels may be harder to

come by, but are needed all the same. Required foodstuffs include Microwave

meals, tins of baked beans, ice cream and cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew.

22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms, £2.00 buys chips,

crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9, £5.00 will pay for a packet

of B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.

 

Please do not send tents for shelter, as the sight of posh housing is unfair

on the population of neighbouring areas of Barking and Dagenham.

 

**Breaking news** Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in

claret - 'where are you bleeding from?' they asked - 'ROMFORD' said the

girl.

 

 

[Crill]

Funny [censored] Tony.

[CreamyC]

I'm from London you cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunt.

[Rick D]

CreamyC said:

I'm from London you cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunt.

Yeah, but thats what most people from Essex (London overflow) say...

[CreamyC]

rickd said:

CreamyC said:

I'm from London you cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunt.

Yeah, but thats what most people from Essex (London overflow) say...

 

You can hardly talk. I've never know someone that can be in two cities at the same time.

[Rick D]

CreamyC said:

You can hardly talk. I've never known someone else that can be in two cities at the same time.

I know mate, we're nearly unique... Unfortunately you're an Essex boy...

[Tony P]

CreamyC said:

I'm from London you cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunt.

 

 

 

now where is that smilie?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

here it is......

[CreamyC]

Tony.P said:

CreamyC said:

I'm from London you cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunt.

 

 

 

now where is that smilie?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

here it is......

 

Wheres that other one ...