a couple of funnies for ya's!!

[Lisa]

 

> A hunter kills a deer and brings it home. He decides to clean and

serve

> the deer meat for supper. He knows his kids are fussy eaters, and

won't

eat it

>

> if they know what it is. So he doesn't tell them.

> His little boy, Jimmy, keeps asking him,

> "What's for supper dad?"

> "You'll see", he replies. They start eating supper and his daughter

keeps

 

> asking him what they are eating.

> "Ok", says her dad, "Here's a hint. It's what your mother sometimes

calls

 

> me."

> His daughter screams... "Don't eat it Jimmy! It's an [censored]!"

 

====================================================

 

One day, a shy gentleman was preparing to board a planewhen he heard

> that the Pope was on the same flight.

> >

> > "This is exciting," thought the gentleman. "I've always been a big

fan

> of the Pope. Perhaps I'll be able to see him in person."

> >

> > Suddenly, the man realized his seat was right next to the Pope

himself.

> > Still, the gentleman was too shy to speak to the Pope.

> >

> > Shortly after take-off, the Pope took a crossword puzzle out of

his bag

> > and began working on it.

> >

> > "This is fantastic", thought the gentleman. "I'm really good at

> > crosswords.

> > Perhaps if the Pope gets stuck, he'll ask me for assistance."

> >

> > Almost immediately, the Pope turned to the man and said, "Excuse

me,

but

> > do you know a four letter word referring to a woman that ends in

'unt'?

> >

> > The man was in shock. He could only think of one word that fit the

> > description and he was not about to say it to the Pope.

> >

> > The gentleman thought for a while longer, then it hit him. Turning

to

> the pope, the gentleman said, "I think you're looking for the word

'aunt'."

> >

> > "Of course," said the Pope. "Do you have an eraser?"

====================================================

 

A little old couple walked slowly into McDonalds one cold winter

evening.

They looked out of place amid the young families and young couples

eating

there that night. Some of the customers looked admiringly at them.

You

could tell what the admirers were thinking. "Look, there is a couple

who

has been through a lot together, probably for 60 years or more!"

 

The little old man walked right up to the cash register, placed his

order

with no hesitation and then paid for their meal. The couple took a

table

near the back wall and started taking food off of the tray.

 

There was one hamburger, one order of French fries and one drink. The

little old man unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in

half.

He placed one half in front of his wife. Then he carefully counted

out the

French fries, divided them in two piles and neatly placed one pile in

front

of his wife. He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then

set

the cup down between them. As the man began to eat his few bites of

hamburger the crowd began to get restless. Again you could tell what

they

were thinking. "That poor old couple..

 

All they can afford is one meal for the two of them." As the man began

to

eat his French fries one young man stood and came over to the old

couples'

table.

 

He politely offered to buy another meal forthe old couple to eat. The

old

man replied that they were just fine. They were used to sharing

everything.

Then the crowd noticed that the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite.

 

She just sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking

turns

sipping the drink. Again the young man came over and begged them to

let

him

buy them something to eat. This time the lady explained that no, they

were

used to sharing everything together.As the little old man finished

eating

and was wiping his face neatly with a napkin the young man could stand

it

no

longer. Again he came over to their table and offered to buy some

food.After being politely refused again he finally asked a question of

the

little old lady. "Ma'am, why aren't you eating. You said that you

share

everything. What is it that you are waiting for?"

She answered...

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(keep scrolling)

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[This is great]

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"The teeth"

[Cherry]

pmsl they're great!

[Claire DC]

lmao