Divorce, sexism & gold-digging

[LiquidEyes]

There's another high-profile divorce story in the news at the moment. It's the same old tale: bint ends up with a massive proportion of her husband's fortune.

 

I'm just wondering how people feel about this. To me, it seems morally questionable if it is possible for someone to 'profit' out of divorce. It must be quite daunting to be a high-earning bachelor looking for a sincere partner, as we still seem to live in a culture that rewards gold-digging.

 

Generally it seems to be men who get the short straw in divorce. But it's not as though women are all dependent housewives in this day and age!

 

In cases where maintenance is to be paid, the dependent party appears to have a right to continue to live in the manner to which they have become accustomed (as opposed to a 'reasonable' manner). How do we feel about this? Is it really an absolute right?

 

I'm trying to look at both perspectives, but it does strike me as a dated and slightly sexist aspect of our law. I can also see how gutting it must be for fathers who have to cough up loads of dosh to support their kids, but barely get to see them grow up.

[Louise]

when me & my husband split i left him with the house, car, house contents, bank account.......basically everything we owned, all i had was mine & the kids clothes, iv had no maintanence from him & no money from the sale of the house.

 

think i drew the short straw there but it was less hassle that way, iv worked 2 jobs since splitting with my X & feel more proud of myself for doing so.

[LiquidEyes]

Maybe you should have got a better divorce lawyer!

[Louise]

i didnt use a lawyer, i didnt want anything at all, i think it was more that i wanted a clean break from him & didnt want to answer to him for everything or anything,

[Guest]

Some women are just greedy money grabbing bitches who think that only money can make them happy, therfore, they mince their ex partners and hang em dry.

 

If I were married and ended up having a divorce, I would want what is rightfully mine, and if I had children, then some maintenance from their dad would be all I would ask for. What the child is entitled too !

 

Regardless, I can imagine how much hassle a divorse would be, so thefore, I wouldn't want to completely go through lawyers etc and dry the poor fucker out. I would want it done as quick as poss and out of the way so I could get on with my own life and let the ex get on with his.

 

Well, that my own opinion anyway

 

There is far to much greed going on in this world !

[Guest]

End of the day - wtf is money anyway !

 

It isn't EVERYTHING !

 

For some, yes. Not for me though.

[snowqueen]

My uncle got divorced not his choice, though but his wife was cheating, and for us to find out he caughter her in bed with one of his mates years and years ago, aborted his baby, and he stood by this for years since i was young, and then she came out with she wanted a break, so he left moved in with my nan, only to get a letter saying she wants a divorce, he left her with the car, the house, he paid her loans up, just so that she would not take half of his pension, basically bribery, he was sooo cut up, and to find out she was seeing another bloke and as soon as he walked out, another man walked in, she used to have contact with my daughter, they were so close, and she stopped that, which was very, very strange as she treated her like her own daughter, sometimes pushed me out. Though he came out with a good settlement, i think it was unfair, because they were sweetheart lovers, and the way he was treated by her was dsgusting, as my family thought the sun shone out of her arse, my nan took her in from the age of 14, with only the crap clothes she was wearing, and what ever she wanted she got....not all the men are the arseholes in divorces, some women can be outright evil,when they want to be, i used to look upto this woman, i am glad i havent followed or wont ever follow her footsteps!

[Guest Kether]

QUOTE (Louise @ Jul 9 2004, 13:52)

i didnt use a lawyer, i didnt want anything at all, i think it was more that i wanted a clean break from him & didnt want to answer to him for everything or anything,

I think you're a little bit silly for letting that happen because now he's left you in the lurch struggling to bring up kids working 2 jobs when you were entitled to money from the house. I know you wanted a clean break but surely it would have been better in the long run to make a clean break with a nice fat wedge, not only for you but for the support of your children?

 

Personally I think that the Ray Parlour case sets a dangerous precendent. Didn't see the wife on the training ground for hours a day then getting into the England squad. She didn't have to give up a career (if she had one) just because he's a footballer. She's obviously done very well out of him whilst they were married and will continue to do so after the divorce; it's disgusting. Her case that she helped from alcoholism is paper thin. If I were the judge I would have given her the £8ph that social workers get and told her to get out of my court the money grabbing bitch, but I'm not a judge.

[LiquidEyes]

^ Yeah that was my gut feeling too (not knowing much about this particular case).

 

It sets a VERY dangerous precedent.

[Dawn]

Why should women who stay at home to bring their children up not be entitled to some of his wages and pension, they have stayed at home for perhaps half of their working life, bringing up the children they both wanted and probably stayed a housewife on the husbands say so.

 

They can't catch up on the pension they would have accumaleted, nor can they earn as much (in most cases) as the husband, plus the majority of women do end up with the children to solely care and provide for.

[LiquidEyes]

QUOTE (Dawn @ Jul 9 2004, 14:50)

Why should women who stay at home to bring their children up not be entitled to some of his wages and pension

I didn't say women shouldn't be entitled to SOME money. But read the article and tell me if you think she 'needs' or 'deserves' £400k.

[LiquidEyes]

QUOTE (Dawn @ Jul 9 2004, 14:50)

nor can they earn as much (in most cases) as the husband

So the answer is to wring the bloke's bank account dry when they divorce...?

[Dawn]

But isn't that because she's become accustomed to such amounts in her marriage to a high profile footballer.

 

I'm sure if I went to the divorce courts they would take into account the amount I was used to (in line with inflation of course) not what I wished to become accustom to.

[Dawn]

QUOTE (LiquidEyes @ Jul 9 2004, 14:53)

QUOTE (Dawn @ Jul 9 2004, 14:50) nor can they earn as much (in most cases) as the husband So the answer is to wring the bloke's bank account dry when they divorce...? Yes if they've gave their career up or their chance of getting a good career to bring their children up.

[LiquidEyes]

QUOTE (Dawn @ Jul 9 2004, 14:57)

But isn't that because she's become accustomed to such amounts in her marriage to a high profile footballer.

This is the whole crux of my argument. Explain to me (in moral terms) why a person is entitled to carry on being as rich as they were before, off the back of someone else's success?