Divorce, sexism & gold-digging

[Aaron]

QUOTE (squeakage @ Jul 10 2004, 15:29)

I think it shud continue! really interesting andy has made some good points

He has indeed, but i cant see any place this thread can go without covering old ground

[Alex]

On topic please...

[LiquidEyes]

I'm happy to agree to disagree on anything which is subjective.

 

However the crux of debate is whether the poorer party should profit in a divorce situation, which I believe is the typical case scenario (except in the case of infidelity, where I believe the 'cheat' forfeits their right to get compensation from the other party -- please correct me if I'm wrong).

 

Any payment OTHER than for maintenance of kids is completely arbitrary, so I don't understand how it can be justified.

 

I'm all ears.

[Lisa]

why Andy, is it that you think, most men come out the worse in a divorce?? Ok we hear alot about through the media with Famous couples, pop or film etc, but your everyday average joe, it isnt the case.

 

 

[LiquidEyes]

So you're saying there's a different law for famous people?!

 

High-profile cases are very important, because they set precedents that are followed by more low-profile cases.

 

I know a few people who are divorced, and it is generally the richer party that gets shafted.

Edited July 10, 2004 by LiquidEyes

[Lisa]

QUOTE (LiquidEyes @ Jul 10 2004, 15:37)

So you're saying there's a different law for famous people?! High-profile cases are very important, because they set precedents that are followed by more low-profile cases. I know a few people who are divorced, and it is generally the richer party that gets shafted.

No, no Andy, that's not what im saying, of course there isnt a different law, im merely saying that your average Joe's divorce case will not get plastered across the press etc & you only hear about high profile people, who have, obviously higher earnings & in case settlements, it loks as though gold digging is done etc, not to say that gold digging doesnt happen, Anna nichol smith for one

 

But you dont hear about the likes of say me for instance, who got jack shit after my divorce, not even fecking maintainance for three kids

[LiquidEyes]

So if you don't mind telling us about it, what's the background behind your divorce? And was he richer than you?

[Lisa]

well, I was married to him for 8 years, we decided to have a family, 3 kids in total. He was in the armed forces & we had to travel everywhere, so as the dutiful wife, I upsticks everytime & followed with the children, last port of call was Germany, 3 years there & in those three years, he was hardly ever home, so, basically I had sole responsibility of the childen & the home, I also worked as a childminder as my eldest had just started infant school & my second eldest started creche. After suffering almost 8 years of constant verbal & physical abuse & him cheating constantly, we split. I then got flown back over to the uk, with the children, to be put in army accomodation, stuck out in the middle of know where, miles away from my family & no amenities of any kind, island desolate basically. I had to then go through the rigromol(sp) of sorting benefits etc as a lone parent, it was decided that my X would pay a certain amount in maintainance, which ment the benefit I got would be cut, fair do's, so i was allowed 7 pounds a week from income support, but the maintainance never came, leaving me with nothing, i also got left with all the debts of things like catalogues & Andy, im not being a bitch here & lying in saying this, but a majority of the goods on the catalogue were his.

 

 

Which in turn led to my breakdown & the seperation of my children & my X husband dissapearing into the night with my son, so he did not have to dip in his pocket or take responsiblity for his other siblings

 

So in answer to your question, yes he was richer

[Guest]

QUOTE (LiquidEyes @ Jul 10 2004, 15:33)

Any payment OTHER than for maintenance of kids is completely arbitrary, so I don't understand how it can be justified. I'm all ears.

Maybe she had a smack habbit ?

 

[LiquidEyes]

Blimey Lisa, that sucks more than cocksuckers.com.

[Lisa]

yeh, theres more but i'll spare you the finer details, just to try to show you, it isnt always cut & dry as it seems Andy & i know of a few people, with similar things. End of the day if you have money, regardless of what is morally right or wrong, its an evil & we all love it, so if I had a millionaire X hubby, id probably be sat in court, hoping for a nice, lasrgish settlement too

[LiquidEyes]

QUOTE (Dawn @ Jul 10 2004, 14:47)

You don't know what she did in that marriage, she could have been the brains behind investments, which is how 'they' accumalated far more than his wages would of, more than likely it was a joint partnership, but in his name, no one knows, you cant berate this woman for what a judge has awarded her. How can you say she is profiting from this, perhaps she is going to have far less than if he'd stayed married to her.

One more point about this specific case. Before they even started factoring in her supposed contribution to his career, she had already been awarded a massive sum of money (aside from the money for the kids).

 

So, the fact remains that a massive proportion of her settlement has nothing to do with either the kids or her contribution to his career.

 

I think it's fair to say that, had she not been married to a rich footballer, she wouldn't have got such a large sum of money. She has been allocated an arbitrary sum of his money.

 

Ergo, she is directly profiting from his wealth.

[Jessica Rabbit]

Look, Andy, you didn't sit through the whole of the court case and hear the lawyer's arguing and the judge's reasons for awarding her the money. All you've read is one condensed article, with selective bits taken out of a court case that has probably gone on for ages. So you have effectively formed a strong opinion on something you know nothing about. I think you're an intelligent bloke, but you're not a lawyer, and therefore probably do not have an understanding of the complex legslation surrounding the case, so can you please let it rest now. Thank you.

 

Edited to say: I am picking on you rather than the others on the thread because you seem to be convinced the judges decision was wrong. But you haven't actually heard the judge's full reasons for his decision.

Edited July 10, 2004 by Jessica Rabbit

[squeakage]

QUOTE (Lisa @ Jul 10 2004, 16:18)

well, I was married to him for 8 years, we decided to have a family, 3 kids in total. He was in the armed forces & we had to travel everywhere, so as the dutiful wife, I upsticks everytime & followed with the children, last port of call was Germany, 3 years there & in those three years, he was hardly ever home, so, basically I had sole responsibility of the childen & the home, I also worked as a childminder as my eldest had just started infant school & my second eldest started creche. After suffering almost 8 years of constant verbal & physical abuse & him cheating constantly, we split. I then got flown back over to the uk, with the children, to be put in army accomodation, stuck out in the middle of know where, miles away from my family & no amenities of any kind, island desolate basically. I had to then go through the rigromol(sp) of sorting benefits etc as a lone parent, it was decided that my X would pay a certain amount in maintainance, which ment the benefit I got would be cut, fair do's, so i was allowed 7 pounds a week from income support, but the maintainance never came, leaving me with nothing, i also got left with all the debts of things like catalogues & Andy, im not being a bitch here & lying in saying this, but a majority of the goods on the catalogue were his. Which in turn led to my breakdown & the seperation of my children & my X husband dissapearing into the night with my son, so he did not have to dip in his pocket or take responsiblity for his other siblings So in answer to your question, yes he was richer

Lisa that sounds terrible

 

You must've felt so alone

 

I'm glad you've come out of it ok though and that you're now happy

 

 

[Daredevil Tony]

It just shows that women and marriage is just one fucking big waste of time!!