Divorce, sexism & gold-digging

[paula]

ppl could argue that this is men being selfish here, shes got a third off his wage for four off them, hes got two thirds just for himself, she could go out too work, but the kids are only young. altho i agree that men should be able too see his kids when he wants, within reason

[LiquidEyes]

QUOTE (paula @ Jul 11 2004, 17:07)

if she gets a third then than sounds pretty fair,

Why?

 

QUOTE

shes got a third off his wage for four off them

No she hasn't. She's got a third of his wage for herself (the kids are 'only' allocated £37k!)

 

Plus she also gets a quarter of a million one-off payment, and two mortgage-free houses.

[paula]

ok i will read the article i think.

 

then will post what i think

[LiquidEyes]

In a nutshell Paula, here are the main points we're debating:

 

1. in a divorce situation, is it right for the person with less money to effectively profit from the divorce? And why?

2. does the law on divorce settlements encourage and reward 'gold-digging'?

3. the woman in question will receive a load of the footballer's future wages, on the basis that she has claimed she helped his career. Is this acceptable? How can you possibly quantify your contribution to somebody's career in monetary terms? And does this not set a dangerous precedent for future divorce cases?

[paula]

i dont think she should have got the houses n lump sum. i agree with the maintenance tho,

[LiquidEyes]

QUOTE (paula @ Jul 11 2004, 18:54)

i dont think she should have got the houses n lump sum. i agree with the maintenance tho,

I certainly agree on the maintenance for the kids.

 

On the basis of the given facts, this is my stance:

 

* reasonable maintenance for the kids - fair enough;

* reasonable maintenance for her - i.e. enough to live on while she adjusts her lifestyle - fair enough;

* half of anything they jointly owned - fair enough;

* anything else - questionable.

 

Unless her contribution to his career can actually be quantified objectively, or they actually had an agreement where she was paid a wage to be his agent / manager / life coach / whatever, then I don't see what difference it makes whether he was a millionaire footballer or a Sainsbury's checkout assistant. Why should HIS wage benefit her if they're not married any more?

[paula]

because they are HIS family, he earns enough too pay. i know its his career, but she still has the job off bringing up his family. i didnt think wifes got maintenance anymore anyway?

i also think reading that statement, he left her, so why should she suffer more?

[Tidy Tart]

my dad left my mum about 6 years ago...

 

met a woman with 2 kids got married

 

then the problems started

 

she started telling my dad when he could see us,

sold the house i was brought up in (all money went to dad and kim)

spending all his money on her and her 2 kids,

made him leave a well paid job which he got £34 grand for pay off,

Got married in sri lanka (sp) honeymooned in jamaca (sp) (no invite for me or brother),

re decorated the whole of her council house (kicked me out),

 

the past 6yrs they have been together i have seen hardly anything of my dad!

 

they spilt up a yr ago i was there for my dad emotionally and money wise (she spent all his money)

 

even tho she made me leave the house and move away!

 

they got back together when he got a big pay out from his army pention!

 

few months ago she left him this time it was for good!

 

dads now down south so much happyer

 

this woman ruiend the relationship me and my brother had with my dad now we are gettin it back together!

 

then theres my mum.........................

 

she was deverstated when my dad left her turning to drink after a few months solid of drinkin she moved away and sorted it out

 

she took my brother with her and a few months later i followed

 

my mum skrimt and scraped to bring me and my brother up best she could dad never payed a penny for us always dodgin the CSA

 

past few yrs have been hard for my mum breast cancer scares health problems cash problems the lot

 

this past 2 yrs mums done really well for herself started uni got a bloke that really does love her then she had a big problem with her back now she has had to give up her uni and is really down!

 

 

_____________________________________________________________

 

if my dad had paid at least any CSA money 2 my mum for me or my brother i dont think she/we would have had at least half a bad time as we have

 

if i was a male and had kids in a realtionship i wasnt in any more id give anything to support the kids and there up bringing.

 

if i was to bring kids in to this world id want to know that i could give them all i could!

 

[Tidy Tart]

dunno if that made sense but thats my input to it!

[Dawn]

QUOTE

1. in a divorce situation, is it right for the person with less money to effectively profit from the divorce? And why?

 

I'm still not convinced they profit, see below for explanation*

 

QUOTE

2. does the law on divorce settlements encourage and reward 'gold-digging'?

 

Most definitly

 

 

QUOTE

3. the woman in question will receive a load of the footballer's future wages, on the basis that she has claimed she helped his career. Is this acceptable? How can you possibly quantify your contribution to somebody's career in monetary terms?

 

IMO her career was not only being a full time wife to her husband and his career but a full time mother to their children, and if a wage was took it would probably warrant the payout.*

 

QUOTE

And does this not set a dangerous precedent for future divorce cases?

 

Most definitly.

 

 

I'd also like to add that I myself would never allow myself to get so dependant on a man that I would feel the need to take money off him for my personal use.

 

But unfortunatly the way of the world is a cruel one and not all have the means or advantages to beable to say or do this.

 

But when you believe half of your marriage is never having to work purely so you can soley bring your children up, as was agreed between both parties to have that taken away and be forced to work and leave your children day in day out (none of your doing) then yes I still say the women or man would be entitled to a payout (compentation if you wish)

Edited July 11, 2004 by Dawn

[Guest]

Iv always wanted to marry a footballer.

[Jessica Rabbit]

We still live in a sexist world, and women are usually the ones dumped with the children and no support when their partner fucks them over. Loads of men still get away with paying no maintenance and leaving their kids in the lurch. Andy et al, when you can have babies then maybe you can start moralising over whether or not women should be awarded money.

[Guest]

QUOTE (Jessica Rabbit @ Jul 12 2004, 18:04)

We still live in a sexist world, and women are usually the ones dumped with the children and no support when their partner fucks them over. Loads of men still get away with paying no maintenance and leaving their kids in the lurch. Andy et al, when you can have babies then maybe you can start moralising over whether or not women should be awarded money.

WORD.

[Guest Kether]

QUOTE (Jessica Rabbit @ Jul 12 2004, 18:04)

We still live in a sexist world, and women are usually the ones dumped with the children and no support when their partner fucks them over. Loads of men still get away with paying no maintenance and leaving their kids in the lurch. Andy et al, when you can have babies then maybe you can start moralising over whether or not women should be awarded money.

Hmmmm, we definitely do live in a sexist world when it comes to child support and divorce laws. Even if the law isn't written down as sexist it's definitely interpreted that way and men are getting fucked over and not getting proper access to their children because the woman always seems to win the custody battles. How do you explain that anomoly?

 

I object to your attitude aswell insinuating that most men are happy to knock someone up and let the mother deal with the consequences. There's just as many shit women out there as there are shit blokes. Why can't we start moralising (sic) about this issue? I don't need to have my own child before I can feel empathy with someone else on the issue. I have a rational brain and it appears all this baby talk has somehow frazzled your weak female mind. Trot along, clean up the kitchen, cook dinner, have a baby, get dumped and don't expect any maintenance. Be a love.

[ChrisT]

QUOTE (Jessica Rabbit @ Jul 12 2004, 18:04)

We still live in a sexist world, and women are usually the ones dumped with the children and no support when their partner fucks them over. Loads of men still get away with paying no maintenance and leaving their kids in the lurch. Andy et al, when you can have babies then maybe you can start moralising over whether or not women should be awarded money.

 

 

Kether said what i just did...

 

 

 

Dumped with the kids? are they a burden?

Edited July 12, 2004 by ChrisT