I will survive

[Tidy Tart]

 

 

MALE VERSION

 

First I was afraid I was petrified

At the ugly slapper that was lying by my side

I would've drunk a little less,

I would've tried to keep my head.

If I'd known for just one second you'd

Assault me in your bed.

I tried to go, walk out the door

But you've been sitting on my legs and

I Can't feel them anymore

And now you're sitting on my face,

My nose has vanished - not a trace,

I only hope that you're big knickers aren't

Made of liquorice lace

I want to go, I've got to leave

Before your fat and naked body makes me want to heave

Only hope that no one saw me walking home

With such a sl*t.

God the things that you get up to

When you're half cut

Please let me go, I'm getting scared

There's nothing I can do to stop those ugly

Breasts from being bared.

I think that I must have been mad,

God what made me want to court her?

With t*ts that look like Tesco bags I've just

Filled up with water

It's time to go, run out the door

She's started hinting she wants s*x on her

Dirty lino floor

I don't think there's anything worse

Than the al-co-hol-ics curse.

I WILL SURVIVE !

 

 

FEMALE VERSION The girl's reply to the male

version???.

 

At first I was afraid, I was petrified.

By the ugly w*nker that was lying by my side.

I would've drunk a little less, I would've

Tried to keep my head,

If I'd know for just one second I'd be in

Your crusty bed...

I tried to go, walk out the door.

But I laughed so hard at your small kn*b that

I've fallen on the floor.

Your butts a pimply mess, it's just a broken-out

disgrace,

But I'd rather look at that, than at your F###ing ugly

face...!

I want to go, I've got to leave. Your talk of chicks

and football really

makes

me want to heave. I only know I've got to stop my

drinking

Spirts and the beer

Coz when I looked at you last night, you

Looked just like Richard Gere !

Please let me go, I feel quite sick,

We had the worst s*x in the world and you're an ugly

pr*ck

I should have sh*gged your gorgeous mate,

At least he's got a lovely flat

But no I go and trust the booze and now I'm

Stuck with you, you tw*t.

It's time to go, run out the door.

You look so ugly it should really be against the law.

I'm going to give up all the booze, I'm going

To have no stupid fun

Coz waking up beside your mug, just makes me

Want to be a nun !

I WILL SURVIVE!

 

 

 

[Maria]

FUNNIEST WORDS EVER!!!!

 

You look so ugly it should really be against the law.

 

That is pure GENIOUS !

 

[JoeDrawb]

haha great - i know ive felt like that bloke once..or twice ! sure we all have

[djiceman]

 

love the lyrics.........brilliant

[FredTheBaddie]

I like the tune better.

[JoeDrawb]

weetabix

[FredTheBaddie]

That too

[kitty]

wicked!

[FredTheBaddie]

Thanks.

[Cherry]

I should have sh*gged your gorgeous mate,

At least he's got a lovely flat

But no I go and trust the booze and now I'm

Stuck with you, you tw*t.

 

[nuthead53]

 

think i might even print it out and put it on my wall